How to Marry an Entomologist
by smacky30
Summary: Sequel to Because I Love You. What happens after Ecklie's arrest?
1. Chapter 1

_This is a little story about what happened from the time Ecklie was arrested until Sara and Grissom welcomed their second child. You really need to read 'Because I Love You' first. The restaurant I mention is located in Las Vegas and is owned by Wolfgang Puck. _

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 1

Sara reached out to adjust Brass' tie. Her smile was nervous and her hands trembled slightly. Brass smiled in return and self-consciously tugged at his jacket. The late afternoon sun was warmand a light breeze was blowing across the surface of Lake Mead. The scent of flowers in bloom perfumed the soft air.

Brass smiled at Sara and said, "Are you ready?" At her nod, he tucked her hand into the crook of his arm and said quietly, "Relax. You know this is the right thing. Besides, you look beautiful."

"Thanks," Sara said with tears in her eyes. "Let's go before I cry."

The two made their way slowly down the gravel path toward the edge of the lake. The only music was the sound of birds and crickets. The small group of people gathered there turned to watch them approach. Sara saw Catherine, Warrick, Nick and Greg to her left. Doc Robbins, David, Hodges and Archie were to her right. Warrick had brought Tina, Lindsay was with Catherine and Doc Robbins' wife was there. Even the sheriff had come and brought his wife along. Sofia stood slightly behind Catherine and the guys. There were a few others from the lab and a couple of the people from Sara's apartment building. But the only person she had eyes for was Grissom.

He was standing just past the others wearing a charcoal grey suit. His shirt and tie were both a lighter shade of grey – almost silver in the fading light. The color of the shirt deepened the blue of his eyes and set off the silver in his hair. His lips, probably his most sensual feature, were curved in a smile. Catching sight of Sara he turned so that he could fully appreciate the beauty of the woman walking toward him.

A wide smile, that showed the delightful gap between her teeth, spread across Sara's face as soon as she saw him. Catherine had helped with her makeup and her full lips wore a light pink gloss, her eyes appeared smoky and deep set. Her hair framed her face in loose waves, making her look softer and more feminine that she would have ever thought possible. Her sleeveless, off white dress had a square neckline that framed her graceful throat and delicate collarbones. It was form fitting without being tight and flowed to the ground in a beautiful column. The only hint of sexiness came from the slit that ran to the top of her thigh on one side. Simple gold jewelry glowed warmly against her skin. She clutched a bouquet of bright orange and pink gerbera daisies that matched the colors of the sunset. She was, in a word, breathtaking.

When they reached Grissom's side, Brass removed Sara's right hand from his arm and held it for the other man to take. He then turned around and went to stand with Sophia. Grissom and Sara turned to face the lake and the man standing just in front of them. With a smile at the nervous pair he began to speak. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered her today to unite this man and this woman in matrimony…"

The ceremony was short and simple. They exchanged vows and rings as millions of others had done before them and millions more would do in the future. But this moment was all the sweeter for the journey. As the two exchanged the customary kiss Catherine cried and even Brass stealthily wiped his face. As the justice of the peace presented Dr. and Mrs. Gil Grissom to the small gathering applause broke out.

Sara and Grissom were glowing as they turned to face their friends. They took a few steps forward and found themselves enfolded in many warm embraces. When the congratulations had been heard Grissom managed to get everyone's attention and said, "Sara and I would be very pleased if you would all join us at Trattoria del Lupo for dinner. We have reservations for 7 o'clock. Our treat."

Everyone headed toward their cars and began the drive back to Las Vegas. When Grissom was seated behind the wheel of his car he turned to face the woman beside him and, stroking a finger down her cheek, said, "Hello Mrs. Grissom." The look of wonder in his eyes stole the breath from Sara's lungs.

"Hello Mr. Grissom," she replied, just as softly. And then she was laughing. The tension of the past couple of hours dissipating with the knowledge that she was married to the man she loved more than life itself. After a few seconds Grissom began to laugh too. If anyone had been around they would have thought the couple crazy. When they had calmed down, Grissom started the car and followed the others into town.

Grissom and Sara entered the restaurant with her hand tucked into the crook of his arm. The others were waiting for them and they were shown to a group of tables on the patio. The mood was festive and everyone was having a wonderful time. After dinner had been ordered, Brass stood and clicked his spoon against his glass to get everyone's attention. As the group became silent he cleared his throat nervously and said, "I would like to propose a toast. Sara, you are the most patient woman I have ever met." Polite chuckles sounded from around the tables. "And, Gil, you are the luckiest man. May your life together be happier and more fulfilling than your lives apart ever were. Congratulations."

Everyone raised their glasses in a salute to the couple. Sara stood and walked over to give Brass a hug. She kissed his cheek and whispered against his ear, "Thanks for everything. It's nice to know you'll be looking out for me."

There were more toasts and more well wishes. Dinner was served and everyone complimented both the food and the atmosphere. Eventually, the party began to wind down. Almost without their realizing it, Sara and Grissom were standing outside the restaurant saying goodbye to the last of their guests. As Grissom opened the car door for Sara, he said, "Alone at last. What are we going to do now?"

With a sultry smile and her best Mae West imitation, Sara said, "I'm sure we can think of something, big boy."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

Chapter 2

Grissom and Sara stood in the hallway at the lab and watched Ecklie being led away in handcuffs. His arrest was the culmination of weeks of investigation on their part and was both satisfying and unsettling. Neither of them had wanted to believe that the man could actually have been selling out his fellow law enforcement officers but it was true. When he disappeared around a corner Grissom turned to Sara and said, "I guess I should say good job. I'm just not sure how I feel about it."

Sara sighed and said, "Yeah, I know. The great Conrad Ecklie selling out the law he swore to uphold. It still amazes me that he thought it was _not_ okay for us to be involved but _was_ okay for him to accept bribes. I don't understand how his mind works."

"Neither do I," Grissom said with a sad shake of his head. "Come on, Sara, let's go home." With that he took her hand and they walked out of the building and into the sunlight.

As they reached Sara's car Grissom's cell phone rang. He flipped it open and said, "Grissom."

"Gil," the sheriff said, "Are you still in the building?"

"I'm in the parking lot. I was just headed home." Grissom paused for a second before saying, "I can come back in."

"Would you? There's something I need to discuss with you." The sheriff sounded weary and he still had at least eight hours to go.

"Okay. I'll be there in a few minutes," Grissom responded.

"Thanks, Gil, and tell Sara I said good job." The sheriff hung up before Grissom could respond.

Closing the phone Grissom smiled ruefully. "The sheriff said you did a good job."

"Does this mean no sex today either?" Sara said with a laugh.

"Why don't you go to my house? I shouldn't be long. If you're still awake when I get there I may accommodate you." Grissom responded to her teasing with a little of his own. "I think it's been a couple of days too many." His eyes moved to her lips and he watched her tongue run over them nervously.

Without warning, Sara stretched up and laid her mouth over his. Pulling back, she grinned and said, "You have the sexiest mouth. Hurry home bugman, I'll be waiting." With a wicked look, Sara climbed in the car and headed for Grissom's, leaving him looking after her.

Grissom made his way to the sheriff's office with a bemused expression on his face. Never had anyone made him feel the way Sara did. Entering the outer office, Grissom greeted the sheriff's secretary. She held up a finger and picked up the phone. After a moment she told him to go in. Grissom thanked her and entered the inner office. The sheriff stood and extended his hand. "Come on in, Gil, and have a seat. Can I get you some coffee?"

"No thanks. I've got to get some sleep today," Grissom replied as he shook the man's hand.

"Okay. I'll get straight to the point," he said. "First, I've talked to Catherine and let her know that you'll be back in charge of the shift tonight."

"Alright. It'll be good to be back all the way," Grissom responded.

The sheriff nodded and then said, "Second, I am looking for someone to fill Conrad's position."

"Are you asking me if I'm interested?" Grissom asked quietly.

"Well, you are the most obvious choice. You have the experience and the credentials. Are you interested?" he asked.

"Um…I…uh…I'm flattered. I really didn't expect this." Grissom stumbled over his words as the sheriff's offer took him by surprise. "Can I think about it?"

"Sure, Gil," he said magnanimously, "Take a few days to think it over. I'm serious about this. Why don't we talk Monday?"

"Yes, Monday would be good. I'll have an answer for you then," Grissom said.

The sheriff stood and held out his hand again. When Grissom gripped it with his own, he said, "Gil, thanks for your work on this. I appreciate it. I'll see you Monday."

Grissom left the office and walked quickly, with his head down, to his car. He drove home turning the sheriff's offer over in his mind. It wasn't until he saw Sara's car parked in the garage that his mood lightened. He opened the back door and was greeted by the smell of pancakes and the sight of Sara in a t-shirt and panties.

Turning around, she flashed him a grin and said, "Hey. I made pancakes."

Grissom walked over and wrapped his arms around her. "It does a man good to come home to this. Are you really hungry?" The glint in his eye made Sara laugh. The sound was low and throaty and put a throb between Grissom's legs.

"You are going to have to wait. Pancakes aren't good when they're cold." Wriggling out of his arms she carried to plates over to the table and sat down.

Grissom joined her and said, "I can think of a better use for syrup." His eyes were hot as they trailed the length of her legs.

Sara leaned over and gave him a sweet kiss. "Down bugman. There will be time for that later." She gave him a smile so full of erotic promise that he felt his heart speed up in response. "What did the sheriff want?"

Grissom cleared his throat and turned his attention to the pancakes in front of him. As he ate he told Sara about his conversation with the sheriff.

When he had explained the sheriff's offer Sara said, "Wow. That's great. How do you feel about it?"

"I am extremely flattered that he would make the offer but I'm not sure it's something I want to do. I am a scientist, a teacher, not a politician." Grissom gave a self-deprecating grin and said, "You know that I don't like to kiss ass."

Sara threw her head back and laughed. "Couldn't have said it better myself."

They finished the pancakes and cleared the table. Sara took advantage of every opportunity to touch Grissom. He took advantage of every opportunity to get in her way. Grissom had never considered doing dishes to be foreplay but he was definitely aroused. When she 'accidentally' pushed her backside against his groin for the third time Grissom grabbed her hips and held her in place. "I think the kitchen is clean enough," he growled. "Let's go to bed."

"Why do we have to go to bed?" Sara asked, looking over her shoulder and smiling.

"I guess we don't." Grissom bent his head and nuzzled her ear.

Sara responded by pushing back against him. He tightened his grip on her hips as she wiggled her backside. She smiled when he moaned. "I don't think we've ever had sex in the kitchen," she said.

"No. I don't believe we have." Grissom held her in place as he ground against her. "Seems like a good time to remedy that situation."

"Oh yeah, now is a very good time," Sara said as she brought her arms up to encircle his neck. She gasped as Grissom's hands left her hips and traveled up her sides to cradle her breasts. His thumbs gently brushed over her nipples making them harden. His lips found her ear and he placed soft kisses along the outer edge. He felt her breathing grow shallow as he ran his hands down and slid them under the hem of her shirt. His big hands splayed across her taut abdomen before beginning a slow journey north. Sara's hands were stroking the curls at the back of his neck. Her head was thrown back against his shoulder and she was moaning quietly.

"Ummm, so soft. You feel so good." Grissom brushed his palms lightly over her aching nipples. His tongue came out to lick the skin just below her ear sending shivers down her spine. He reached up and tugged on her arms until she unwound them from his neck. Using her shoulders he turned her around to face him and pressed his lips to hers in a blistering kiss that left them both breathless. Sara pushed against his chest until he released her with a quizzical look. Smiling she reached down and pulling her shirt over her head dropped it on the floor at their feet. The fire in Grissom's eyes heated her skin.

"Now you," she murmured. "I want to see you." Grissom yanked his shirt over his head and dropped it on top of Sara's. She reached out a hand and laid it over his heart. Bending forward she licked his flat nipple, smiling when he jerked in response.

"Oh, so you want to play dirty, huh?" Grissom smiled as he grabbed Sara around the waist and hauled her against his chest. "Well, let's see how you like this," he said as he bent his head and caught a nipple between his lips. Sara's hands came up and grabbed his shoulders and a groan rumbled in her throat.

"I like it just fine," she said with a breathy voice. "Liking it better all the time."

Grissom chuckled and the vibration drew another groan from Sara. Pulling away, Grissom took her hand and led her to a stool at the breakfast bar. He hooked his fingers in the sides of her underwear and slowly pushed them down her legs. He stood and let his eyes trail down the length of her. Bringing his eyes back to hers, Grissom said, "Sit down." Sara reached for his belt but Grissom stopped her hands and repeated, "_Sit down_."

Sara sat with her knees pressed together modestly. Her eyes were wide with surprise and something else. She had never seen this more forceful Grissom but she was looking forward to getting to know him. He stepped closer and, holding her hands in his, kissed her. His lips ravaged hers. His tongue thrust in and out of her mouth in a sexy rhythm. They were both breathing hard when he broke the kiss. His eyes were feverish as he took in her kiss swollen lips, the flush on her chest, the pert breasts with their hard nipples, her hooded eyes. Kneeling, he placed his hands on Sara's knees and gently pushed them apart. Sara used her hands to cover herself from his gaze.

"No, Sara, don't hide. You're beautiful." Grissom brushed her hands aside and let his eyes roam over her exposed flesh. "Let me taste you." Lifting her legs, one at a time, and placing them over his shoulders Grissom bent and placed his lips over the sensitive skin between Sara's legs. He made love to her with his mouth and fingers while she held on to the sides of the chair and writhed against his face. When she climaxed he held her hips and reveled in her release.

Sara used her hands to urge him to his feet. She reached for his belt and this time he didn't try to stop her. She pushed his pants and underwear down to his ankles and using her hands guided him into her body. Grissom let out a low hiss as his body pushed into hers. He felt Sara's legs wrap around his hips and pull him in tight as her hands clung to his shoulders. His head was thrown back and the chords stood out in his neck as he moved slowly in and out. Sara rose up and began placing wet kisses on every inch of him her mouth could reach. Grissom could feel the orgasm gathering like a storm in his body. He quickened his pace, all his attention focused on the place where his body met hers. Grissom felt her body clench around his and the sensation shoved him over the edge.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

Chapter 3

Several months had passed since Ecklie's arrest and things at the lab were settling down. Everyone was getting used to the management style of the new director. The sheriff had been disappointed at Grissom's refusal of his offer. He had also been skeptical of Grissom's recommendation of Catherine. She had the forensic experience but not a lot of supervisory experience. However, he had to admit that Grissom had been right. Catherine was a born politician. She looked as good as Gil in front of the cameras and she knew how to play the game. His reluctance had gradually turned into delight.

Catherine had taken to her new responsibilities like a duck to water. The new job gave her the hours she wanted so that she could be with Lindsay and challenged her abilities so that she was never bored. She did miss the hands on part of being a CSI but had no desire to go back. She had been surprised, pleasantly, by the acceptance of the other shift supervisors. They had, apparently, not liked Ecklie either.

The only problem so far had been with Sofia Curtis. Nothing overt, Sofia just didn't miss an opportunity to take jabs at Catherine's ability. Catherine, for the most part, understood. The detective had had her share of disappointments lately. The relationship between Grissom and Sara had to be eating her alive. Everyone, except Gil, knew that Sofia had set her sights on him. The fact that she also despised Sara twisted the knife that much harder. Sofia also had some very unflattering things to say about Catherine and her former occupation. To lose a man and a job to women that she felt were beneath her had to be a hard pill to swallow.

Catherine's first duty as director hadn't been the most pleasant thing she had ever done. She had called Gil and Sara in to discuss their relationship. Talk about uncomfortable. Neither of them tried to make it any easier on her. Gil had sat stoically while she stumbled through her speech. Sara had alternated between a silent glare and a huge grin. Finally, Gil had let her off the hook by explaining that if they had successfully hidden it from her for several months it must not be interfering with their jobs. Once she had conceded that point the two promised to practice restraint and left her office.

If Catherine had any regrets about leaving night shift it was Warrick. She had been attracted to him for a very long time and had thought it was mutual. Then suddenly he was married. Now that she almost never saw him and she was more than just a shift supervisor, she had to admit that any relationship between them was never going to happen. It was still a fantasy that could help her get through the night when necessary.

She missed Nick and Greg too. They were her friends and she rarely saw them either. She talked with Gil at least once a week and he kept her updated on everyone's professional life. Funny, now that she and Sara didn't have to work together Catherine had taken to calling her a couple of times a week to check on everyone's personal life. The two were actually becoming friends. That was probably a good thing since Gil had been her best friend for years. If he and Sara were going to be together then Catherine had to keep the peace.

Since his arrest, Conrad Ecklie had been outon bail. The state had confiscated his passport and frozen his bank accounts. His marriage, already on shaky ground, had crumbled. The trial was scheduled to start soon and Catherine called Gil to get a copy of his file on the investigation that revealed Ecklie's involvement with Joe DiMarco. She wanted to review it before he and Sara had to testify. She had spent some time with the D.A. regarding Gil's suspension and how that might affect the case. After much thought, she had requested another meeting with Gil and Sara.

Smiling, Catherine greeted Grissom and Sara and motioned them toward the chairs in front of her desk. "Hey, guys, how's it going?" she asked.

"Good," Sara answered. "How about you? You like being queen bee?" Sara's smile and the gleam in her eyes took the sting out of the question.

"I do like it on top," Catherine quipped and almost laughed when she saw the blush staining Gil's cheeks at her double entendre. "Gil, how have you been?"

Grissom cleared his throat and said, "Fine. We've been very busy, which I'm sure you're aware of. What's this about?"

"Always want to get right down to business, huh?" Catherine chuckled. "Okay, I wanted to talk about Ecklie's case. I want to make sure you guys are ready for what the defense is going to throw at you."

"What do you expect them to throw at us?" Grissom asked. He raised his eyebrow and gave Catherine the full benefit of his enigmatic look. Sara, on the other hand, had closed her eyes and sighed loudly.

"Gil, don't be so obtuse. You know how this is going to play. This is a political nightmare," Catherine said and threw up her hand to ward off his comment. "I know how you feel about it but we need to make sure we are solid on this."

"Catherine, you know that we have a solid case, especially since DiMarco rolled. That and the evidence should be enough to get a conviction." Grissom's voice was calm but his eyes were hard. "My suspension had absolutely nothing to do with Ecklie's arrest."

"Gris," Sara laid her hand on his arm in a calming gesture, "that's not what she's saying. You know that the defense is going to have a field day with our relationship. Ecklie's attorney would be remiss if he didn't at least give it a shot."

"Guys, I've talked to the D.A. and he wants to spend some time with both of you. He thinks that you need some practice." At the fire that flared up in both their eyes she said quickly, "Not coaching on the testimony, just a little practice for the personal stuff. You have a meeting with him at 8 o'clock tomorrow morning."

"I'm not happy about this, Cath. You know how I feel about being coached." Grissom scowled and continued, "I don't care what you call it. It's coaching."

"Gil, I understand your position but this isn't a suggestion." Catherine's voice carried a hint of steel that had both Grissom and Sara bristling.

"If it is an order, then I'll go," Grissom said quietly.

"Then consider it an order," Catherine replied just as quietly.

"Is there anything else?" Grissom asked. When Catherine shook her head, he stood and left the office.

Sara stood and looked at Catherine with a slightly embarrassed expression. "Sorry, you know how he gets. We'll be there tomorrow."

"No problem," Catherine said. "He'll forgive me eventually." She gave Sara a smile that was more than a little forced. "Thanks, Sara."

The trial of Conrad Ecklie began on a Monday with a full accompaniment of reporters. There were jurors to be selected and that took two days. There were motions to be heard and that took another. There were opening arguments that took another. The prosecution finally began presenting its case on a Friday. They began with Lt. Warrens. He testified to the conversations he had with Ecklie and the specifics on the drug raids. The defense couldn't touch him even though they tried to insinuate that he was the one taking bribes. At the end of the lieutenant's testimony the judge called a recess until the following Monday.

When court was called to order on the second Monday, the D.A. called the sheriff to testify. They ran through the sheriff's request to Dr. Grissom and Ms. Sidle for their assistance with the failed raids. The sheriff explained why he didn't call in IAD to handle the investigation. His testimony was straight forward with no cross. Then it was Sara's turn. The prosecutor led her through the story. They laid out the facts. The information she had discovered. The warrant and subsequent discovery of the deposits into Ecklie's bank account.

When Ecklie's attorney rose to begin his cross examination he smiled disarmingly at Sara. The questions started with easy things. Her education, qualifications and experience were all covered. Then the attorney began to attack the evidence. Sara held her ground and countered with ease. Suddenly, he asked the question she had been waiting for, "Ms. Sidle, can you tell the jury the nature of your relationship with Dr. Grissom?"

"He is my supervisor," Sara said without elaboration.

"Is that the extent of the relationship? Please remember that you are under oath." He said.

"No." Again Sara said only what she had to.

"Isn't it true, Ms. Sidle, that you and Dr. Grissom are involved in a sexual relationship?" he asked this while facing the jury to better judge their reaction.

"Yes." Sara fought to keep the anger from her voice.

"Isn't it true that Dr. Grissom had been suspended for a week pending an investigation of the same relationship?"

"Yes." Sara held onto her composure.

"Isn't it true that you had been suspended previously by Mr. Ecklie for insubordination?"

Once again her answer was simple. "Yes."

The questioning continued in this vein for over an hour; the defense attorney asking personal questions, the D.A. objecting, the judge overruling and Sara giving one word answers. He covered her DUI and PEAP counseling. When he asked about her mother the judge cut him off. As soon as he sat down the D.A. jumped up and began a redirect. He brought the questioning back to the actual case at hand and cleaned things up as best he could.

Grissom was up next. The D.A. started off asking Grissom the same questions he had asked Sara. They started with his credentials, qualifications and education. They walked through the trail left by Ecklie. They discussed the interviews with the detectives and Lt. Warrens. Grissom testified about the timing of the deposits made into Ecklie's account. Then the D.A. asked him about his relationship with Ms. Sidle.

When Ecklie's attorney stood up to begin his cross he didn't even bother to be nice. He started immediately about the sexual relationship between Grissom and Sara. He asked about Grissom's suspension. He implied that the relationship between Grissom and Sara began when he refused to fire her as Ecklie ordered. He even went so far as to ask about the broken coffee pot incident. Just as Sara had done, Grissom kept his composure and answered with as few words as possible. Again, just as with Sara, the D.A. came back and cleaned things up. Finally the ordeal was over.

By mutual agreement, Sara had left when she finished so she could get some sleep. Grissom walked out of the courthouse and took a deep breath. He had testified at hundreds of trials and could never remember feeling so dirty afterward. He drove home and opened the garage door. He was surprised to findSara's car missing. He took out his cell phone and called her. When her voice mail picked up he cursed and, putting thecar in reverse, headed toward her apartment. He was relieved, and a little puzzled, to find her car in the parking lot.

Sara heard the knocking and groaned inwardly. She knew it was Grissom but didn't really want to see him. She got to her feet and walked slowly to the door. She pulled it open and turned around, leaving him to close the door.

"Hey," he said. "Is everything okay?"

"No, it's not. I feel like I've just been stripped searched in public." Sara voice trembled as she fought back the tears that had been threatening for hours.

Grissom sat down on the couch next to her and studied her face. "Sara, what happened? Why are you here?"

"He asked about my mother. How in the hell did he know to ask about her!" Sara's voice rose to a screech. "The only person that knew was you."

"And you think I told someone?" Grissom looked at Sara in total disbelief. "You know me better than that. I would never tell something that was told to me in confidence."

"My God, Gris, I never saw it coming. I never thought that anyone would dig that deep." Sara bit back a sob. "I need to be alone."

Grissom sat perfectly still, as if by not moving he could avoid the impact of Sara's words. Finally, he found his voice and said, "Sara, I can't leave you like this."

"Please, Grissom, just go. I'll be fine. I just need a little time by myself," Sara said as she avoided his gaze.

Grissom stood and, after searching Sara's face on last time, he left slamming the door behind him. He didn't see Sara's hot tears begin to flow. She didn't see the hurt and resignation in his eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

Chapter 4

Sara sat, curled into the corner of her couch, staring into space. Her head was hurting and her stomach rolling with nausea. _Why did they think it was okay to bring up stuff like that? The trial was supposed to be about Ecklie, not her. How could something that happened more than twenty years before have anything to do with her testimony today?_ Eventually, she got up and headed to her bedroom.Dropping her clothes in a pile by the bed, she crawled naked between the sheets and lay staring at the clock.

Sara drifted into a restless sleep that was plagued with dreams of her childhood and the death of her father. She awoke a few hours later with her heart racing and sweat coating her body. For a moment she lay still trying to figure out what was missing. Then she remembered sending Grissom away. His arms would have been very welcome in her current state. She couldn't put into words the nightmare that had awakened her. There was just a pervading sense of doom that she couldn't escape. With a sigh she headed to the shower to get ready for work.

Sara arrived at the lab about thirty minutes before the start of her shift. She stowed her belongings and went to the break room for coffee. Nick and Warrick were there, laughing at some story Warrick had just told. Greg wandered in and headed for the coffee pot.

"Hey, Sara, how's it going?" Greg asked.

"It's good," Sara said. Her wan smile made a lie of her words.

Greg gave her a long look. He was trying to decide if he should call her on her lie. Realizing that he would be risking the wrath of Sara, he let it slide. Turning around he said, "Hey guys, what's so funny?"

"Nothing man," Warrick said.

"Oh, come on," Nick said, choking back his laughter, "why don't you tell Greg about your run in with Tina's ex?"

"Run in with Tina's ex?" Greg's eyes werealive withcuriousityand a goofy grin split his face. "What happened?"

"Well, I went by the clinic to take Tina to lunch…" Warrick started his story and Sara tuned out. Her mind was back in her apartment going over her conversation with Grissom. _What had she been thinking when she told him to leave?_ She stood suddenly and headed for Grissom's office. She owed him an apology and didn't want to wait another minute.

Sara took a step inside Grissom's office and stopped in her tracks. Grissom was sitting in his chair, leaning back, with his chin resting on his clasped hands. Perched right beside him on the corner of his desk was Sofia. Since Ecklie's dismissal Sofia had been brought back to the lab as swing shift supervisor. Why she would be sitting on Grissom's desk was something Sara couldn't begin to understand. As Sara stood there, unobserved, Grissom said something that had Sofia throwing her head back and laughing loudly.

"Oh goodness, Grissom, you say the funniest things." Sofia slipped off the desk and took a step closer to Grissom. He looked up at her and gave a half hearted smile.

"I try," he responded. At the sound of a throat clearing, he looked up at saw Sara standing in the doorway. "Hey Sara," Grissomfrowned at the thunderous look on her face.

"Hey, um, can you excuse us Sofia?" Sara said politely.

"Oh, hi Sara," Sofia said. She made no move to put any distance between Grissom and herself. A smirk played around her mouth at the site of Sara's discomfort. "Can it wait just a minute? We were right in the middle of something."

Sara glanced from Grissom to Sofia and back before she said, "Sure. Gris, I need to talk to you later."

Even after she had disappeared from the doorway Grissom was still trying to say something to let her know that she didn'thave to leave. Pushing his chair back, Grissom stood. "Was there something else you needed Sofia?" When Sofia shook her head no, Grissom said, "Then, if you'll excuse me…" He was already moving around her and out the door.

He found Sara in the locker room sitting on a bench. She had her elbows on her knees, head buried in her hands. Walking over to take a seat beside her, Grissom said, "Sara?" When he didn't get an answer he laid his hand on her shoulder and shook her gently. "Hey," he whispered. She raised her head and looked at Grissom. Tears streamed down her cheeks. The pain in her eyes took Grissom's breath. He slid closer to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, drawing her to him. "Please tell me what this is about," Grissom said quietly.

"I'm mad with myself." Sara's voice was choked with tears. She scrubbed angrily at her eyes and hung her head, unable to look at Grissom.

"Why would anybody be mad with you?" Grissom said, giving her a soft smile to offset the teasing note in his voice. "I can't imagine you doing anything to cause that."

Sara gave a half-hearted smile and said, "I don't like jealous people. I especially don't like it when I'm one of those people."

"Jealous? Jealous of what?" Grissom asked, truly puzzled.

"Sofia." The disgust Sara put into the name made Grissom's smile reappear.

"Why in the world would you be jealous of Sofia?" Grissom wanted to know.

"My God, Gris, are you blind?" Sarcasm dripped from Sara's voice and she stared at him in disbelief. Finally she shook her head and said, "You really don't see it do you?" When Grissom continued to look slightly befuddled Sara elaborated. "The woman wants you. Bad. I can't believe you don't realize this."

"Sara, I don't think that Sofia is interested in me beyond a professional level." Sara's snort caused Grissom to study her face. He said sincerely, "I only see you. I wouldn't notice if she were running around naked."

"You are such a sweet talker," Sara smiled through the tears still trickling down her cheeks. She brought her hand up to cup his cheek in a gesture that was familiar to them both. "I am so sorry about this afternoon. I shouldn't have asked you to leave."

"You needed to be alone," Grissom said quietly, hoping to disguise the hurt he had felt.

Sara's eyes roamed over his face, missing nothing. "Gris," she whispered before bringing her mouth to his in a gentle kiss. Pulling back, she said, "I was hurt and needed some time to lick my wounds. I found out that I don't like hurting alone. I missed you."

"I'm glad." He smiled and added, "I could have told you that you would."

"Oh really," Sara pulled back a little and grinned at him. "You knew I would miss you?"

"Yeah. I knew because I was lonely." Grissom pulled Sara to him and held her tightly.

The door creaking open startled them and they jumped apart just as Nick stuck his head around the corner. "Gris, are you doing assignments tonight?" he asked trying to hide his grin.

"Uh…of course. Just give me a minute. I'll meet you in the break room." Grissom stammered a little as he felt the blush rise in his cheeks. He glanced at Sara and noticed that her color was a little high too.

"Sure thing, boss," Nick said with a grin. "I'll hold the fort." With that he let the door close behind him leaving his two favorite geeks alone.

Grissom held out his hand to Sara and helped her up. "Come on, Ms. Sidle. Let's go to work. I need to get tonight over with quickly."

"Why? Got a hot date?" Sara asked with a hint of flirtation in her voice.

"I can always hope." Grissom reached up and brushed a strand of hair off Sara's cheek. Leaning over, he whispered in her ear, "I love you."

"I love you too," Sara said just a little louder.

They left the locker room. Grissom went to collect the assignments. Sara headed for the break room to wait for him.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

Chapter 5

Several months had passed since Ecklie was convicted. Grissom and Sara had been present for the jury's decision and for sentencing. The conviction brought a mix of sadness and joy. They were sad because a cop had gone bad but glad that their work had helped weed out the bad apple. Both of them were secretly pleased that their personal lives hadn't been paraded through open court for nothing.

They had been dating for about a year and they were happy. Happy was not a word that could have been associated with Grissom or Sara in the not so distant past. Their relationship had settled into a rhythm. Sara slept at Grissom's everyday. They cooked together, cleaned together, worked together and relaxed together. The sex was better than either of them had thought it would be. They were physically and mentally compatible and they reveled in it.

Sara kept her apartment and went there a couple of days a week. She only spent any significant amount of time there when Grissom was at work and she was off. She didn't feel comfortable being in his house without him. Sara's apartment had a musty smell and a foot of dust on every flat surface. The only thing it had going for it was being the last link to Sara's independence. Grissom had mentioned moving in together several months before but then he was suspended. The subject had never come up again. Sara was happy with things just as they were. Grissom, on the other hand, was thinking of what it would be like to have Sara under his roof full time. He had neverenjoyed being with someone the way he did Sara. He couldn't remember what his life had been like before. He intended to marry her, if she would have him.

It was a beautiful, sunny Saturday morning. Shift had just ended and they were both off for the weekend. Grissom was packing up when he looked up to see Sara standing in the doorway with a smile on her face. "Hey," he said, "ready to go?"

"Yeah, I was wondering if you were finished." Sara took a couple of steps into the office. "What are we doing about breakfast?"

"I thought we might eat at the diner. Then I have something to show you." His grin was mysterious.

Sara smiled and sauntered over to his desk. Leaning against the edge and crossing her arms she grinned and, with a lascivious gleam in her eyes, asked, "What do you want to show me?"

Grissom chuckled and replied, "Ms. Sidle you are insatiable and a pervert. I want to show you something and wear pants at the same time." He moved to stand in front of Sara.

"Oh, well," Sara pouted just a little, "will I like it?"

"I hope so." Grissom bent his head and placed a quick kiss on Sara's smiling mouth. "Let's go."

Sara left her car in the lot and rode to the diner with Grissom. He had promised to bring her back for it before they headed home. During breakfast Sara tried to get Grissom to tell her what his surprise was. He laughed and dodged her questions. He wouldn't even give her a hint. He kept telling her to be patient, causing her to roll her eyes. Finally, he stood up and held out his hand to help her up. They left the diner and Grissom turned north. He drove past the strip and picked up the 95. Whenever Sara would ask a question he would just smile and shake his head. About half an hour after leaving Las Vegas they turned off the highway. After making several turns they pulled up in front of a house and Grissom cut the engine.

"Where are we?" Sara asked. The house was tan stucco with a clay tile roof anda small front yard in a quiet cul-de-sac.

"Come on, they're expecting us." Grissom got out of the car and waited on Sara to join him before walking to the front door. He rang the bell and waited.

The door was opened by a petite blond. She smiled and held out her hand. "You must be Mr. Grissom," she said. Turning to Sara she extended her hand and said, "And you're Ms. Sidle. I'm Sylvia Long. Welcome. Please come in."

"Thank you," Grissom responded. He stepped back and motioned for Sara to precede him. He was studiously avoiding Sara's puzzled looks.

Sylvia stopped in the middle of a tastefully furnished living room and turned to face Grissom and Sara. She clasped her hands in front of her and gave them a huge smile which showed lots of very white teeth. "So," she said, "how long have the two of you been married?"

Grissom and Sara both sputtered a little and Sara said, "We're not."

Sylvia blushed beneath her tan and said, "I'm sorry. I just assumed…" She let her voice trail off and then, seeming to recover, she said, "Oh well, I must have misunderstood Mr. Grissom." Turning her face toward Grissom she said, "Alright then, if you'll follow me we can take a look around. See what you think."

"Good idea," Grissom replied. He caught the look on Sara's face out of the corner of his eye. Stunned would have been the most accurate description he could have given.

"Ms. Long," Sara said, "would you excuse us for a moment? I need to speak to Grissom privately."

"Why don't I wait outside?" Sylvia Long said, looking a little perplexed.

As soon as the door closed behind her, Sara turned to Grissom and, putting her hands on her hips, said, "What are we doing here? Why are we going to look at this house? Are you thinking of moving?"

"Sara, I…uh…have been thinking about our living arrangements lately. I think we…um…should consider…uh…something a little more…" Grissom stood there for a moment looking helpless. Finally, he continued, "I want to spend every day with you. I want a place where we can live. I'm tired of my place and your place. I want an 'our' place."

Sara stood, mouth agape, for a moment. "Couldn't you have just asked me first? We could have talked about it and figured this out."

Grissom had never meant for it to happen this way but he knew it was now or never. He reached out and took Sara's hands in his. His eyes searched her face and he saw her eyes go wide with recognition. "Sara Sidle, I love you more than words can say. You are everything I ever thought you would be and then some. You have changed my life and I can't imagine ever spending another day without you. Marry me Sara. Please."

The tears that had begun gathering in her eyes spilled over and ran down her cheeks. She stared at Grissom in shock, unable to speak or form a coherent thought. Grissom's eyes clouded over and he tried to pull away from her. "Wait, Gris, I…uh…sorry," Sara cleared her throat. "I have never wanted anything other than to be with you. I just wasn't expecting this, that's all."

"Look, maybe this was a mistake." Grissom pulled his hands from Sara's and walked over to stare out a window into the back yard. "I just thought that since today was our anniversary that I would make my intentions known. You know I am no good at this kind of thing."

"Oh, I think you do okay." Sara had walked over to stand behind Grissom and now she laid a hand on his shoulder. "Look at me." Her voice was soft and pleading. Grissom turned and Sara said, "What do you mean 'it's our anniversary'?"

"If you will think back Sara, it was one year ago today that you were waiting outside my house when I got home. It was one year ago today that I first told you that I love you. It was one year ago today that I first kissed you. That is what I mean by anniversary." Grissom words carried a hint of amusement that did nothing to offset the anger. "And I thought women were supposed to know these things."

Sara looked at the floor and color rose in her cheeks. "I don't know where to start counting. I wasn't sure if I should count from when we first met, when I first came to Vegas or before or after your suspension. You have to admit we have had a lot of firsts."

"Sara, you didn't give me an answer." Grissom's voice was raw with emotion. He used his hand to bring her chin up so that he could study her eyes. He saw his own confusion and fear mirrored there.

Sara raised her eyes to his and said, "Yes."

Grissom crushed Sara to him in a bear hug. Lifting her up, he spun her around before crushing his lips to hers.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

Chapter 6

Grissom and Sara looked at what seemed like a hundred houses before making an offer on the very first one. It wasn't the biggest or the most beautiful but it now held a special place in each of their hearts. Sara had been more than a little concerned about their ability to afford it. Grissom had explained that with money that he had saved, money that she had saved and the sale of his town house they would be fine. Once an offer was made and accepted, both Grissom and Sara seemed to relax. However, the closer they got to moving day the more unsettled Sara became.

Grissom intended to give Sara a ring on the first night they spent in the new house. He had snuck in a few hours shopping but finally admitted that he was in over his head and called in reinforcements. Catherine agreed to meet him at a local jeweler's during her lunch hour the following day. He worked until eleven o'clock then called Catherine to make sure she was ready to go. When Grissom parked in front of the small shop, Catherine was waiting on the sidewalk. She smiled as she watched him approach. "Hey, Gil, let's go find that woman a ring."

Grissom shook his head at her enthusiasm and said, "Hey. Do you have to be so loud?"

Catherine just laughed at his embarrassment. "This is a good thing. Does she know? That you're going to ask?"

"I've…uh…I've…" Grissom couldn't find the words.

Catherine studied his face before demanding, "You've already asked and you guys didn't say anything? My God, Gil, how can you be so secretive and not explode?" Her expression was torn between hurt and excitement.

"It was a spur of the moment thing." At Catherine's dubious expression, he continued, "We were looking at a house and were having a little disagreement. It just sort of happened."

"A house," Catherine spluttered. "You guys are buying a house?"

Grissom dropped his head and said quietly, "Bought. We've bought a house."

"You know, Gil, I'm starting to feel like you don't need me anymore." Catherine smiled a little sadly. "Come on, time's a wasting."

Grissom held the door for Catherine and followed her into the store. He was completely out of his element here. Catherine on the other hand, was right at home. She walked over and began scanning the display cases. Spotting the trays of diamond rings she motioned Grissom over. After a moment, they were approached by a sales person.

"Hello, my name is Edward. How may I help you today?" the man asked in a well-modulated, if somewhat snooty, voice.

Catherine looked up and said, "We are looking for an engagement ring."

"Congratulations," he replied. "I'm sure that we will be able to help you find something truly special."

"Oh, it's not for me. I am merely here to give advice." Catherine smiled flirtatiously.

"Oh my, well I do apologize. I just assumed that a woman as beautiful as you…" his voice trailed off and he shrugged elegantly.

"Edward," Catherine said, "you are sucking up to the wrong one here. I'm not buying. He," she gestured over her shoulder, "is the one you need to impress. Now, let's look at some diamonds."

"Sir," Edward said, "I need to ask you a few questions to help me get an idea of what you are looking for."

Grissom stepped forward and held out his hand. "Gil Grissom."

"Mr. Grissom, can you tell me a little about the lady that will be wearing the ring? What does she like, dislike? How does she dress? What kind of work does she do?"

"Well, she is a Crime Scene Investigator for LVPD. She wears jeans and t-shirts to work except when she goes to court. She is young, beautiful and earthy. She isn't the least bit flashy. She is incredibly intelligent, funny, sexy and warm hearted." He stopped for a moment and caught a glimpse of Catherine out of the corner of his eye. She was staring at him as if she had never seen him before. If Grissom didn't know better he would have sworn there were tears in her eyes. "What?" he asked.

"I didn't know you could string that many words together," Catherine said giving him a goofy grin. Grissom ignored her and turned back to the salesman. "I need something simple and elegant, not gaudy."

"I think I have some things that you will like," Edward replied. He flipped open a velvet lined pad and began lifting rings from the display case. He brought out a round cut solitaire, a marquis with baguettes in a sunburst around it and a princess cut surrounded by pave' diamonds.

Catherine took one look at the princess cut ring and said, "That's it Gil. That ring has Sara written all over it."

It was beautiful. The band was platinum and had incredibly delicate scrollwork engraved all around it. The two carat center stone, which was set up from the band, caught the light, sending prisms dancing around the room. The overall effect was timelessness. Grissom's hand shook as he reached to pick it up. His hands seemed too large to hold such a delicate piece of jewelry. He held it out and asked Catherine to try it on.

"I'll take it," Grissom said. His voice was rough and he looked a little pale as he continued to stare at the ring encircling Catherine's finger.

"Are you sure sir? This is a very expensive ring. I have others you can see before making a final decision," Edward offered in order to appear less elated. This was the largest sale he had made in a month. His commission was looking good and he hadn't even done anything.

"I don't need to see anything else. I'll take this one." Grissom met the man's gaze with a steady one of his own.

"Yes sir," Edward said with a smile. He took the ring from Catherine's outstretched hand and said, "I'll write this up for you. Do you know a size?" At Grissom's negative reply, he said, "Not to worry, she can always have it sized later."

Catherine reached out and laid a hand on Grissom's arm. "I'm going to go back to work now. It's beautiful Gil. Sara is going to love it."

"Thanks, Cath. I know I don't need to tell you to keep this between us. I wouldn't want her to find out before I can give it to her." Grissom smiled.

"I know the deal, Gil, mums the word." Catherine returned his smile and walked through the door into the sunlight.

Grissom arrived home to an empty house. Sara had decided to spend some time packing at her place. She was supposed to be back by one o'clock so they could get some rest before work. That only gave him a few minutes to find a place to hide the ring. He was in the shower when he heard a door close. Knowing that Sara would find him, he began to hurry to get finished. He was rinsing off when the shower door opened and a very naked Sara Sidle stepped in behind him and pressed her body against his back.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. I have a girlfriend who would be very angry if she found you here." Grissom's voice held a hint of the smile that was on his face.

Sara chuckled but played along. Sliding her hands around his middle she slid one down over his stomach and wrapped it around his penis. "I don't really care what she thinks. I want to stay. What do you want?" She began licking the water from his skin.

Grissom was moving his hips, thrusting against Sara's hand, as he stiffened under her ministrations. "I don't think you are playing fair. I only want to have sex with the woman I intend to marry." He felt Sara smile against his back. Reaching down he wrapped his hand around hers andslowed the rhythmof her strokes. "Okay," he said in a husky voice, "I'll let you have your way with me if you promise not to tell Sara."

"It's a deal," she growled.

Pulling her hand from his erection, Grissom turned around and said, "Oh, it's you." He smiled at her laughter and then kissed her. He pulled his lips from hers and said, "I missed you. I don't like it when I come home to an empty house." Then he captured her lips again. Their hands roamed over wet skin. Sara's movements held a hint of desperation that Grissom failed to recognize. The water ran in rivulets down their bodies. Grissom trailed kisses down to Sara's throat where he began licking and nibbling the soft skin. She tilted her head to give him better access and used her hands to pull him closer. Sara felt his erection pressing against her belly and pushed forward causing Grissom to moan. She tangled her fingers in his hair and drew his mouth back to hers.

Breaking the kiss, Sara whispered urgently against his lips, "Now. I need you now."

Grissom reached down and lifted her up until he could feel her opening. With Sara guiding him, he slowly lowered her onto his body. She felt like a warm glove. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, allowing Grissom to place his hands against the wall. When he had braced himself he began to rock his hips. Each slight movement elicited a moan from deep in Sara's throat. Soon she began to use her legs to lift and lower herself in perfect counterpoint to his thrusts. She set a fast and furious pace. Driving her body into his ferociously.

"I can't wait much longer," Grissom gasped as he worked one hand between their bodies and, using his thumb, began to rub in little circles.

This kicked Sara's pleasure up a notch and she began to roll her hips against him. "Oh, Gris," she hissed, "almost there. Wait for me." Suddenly, he felt her clench around him and he let his own pleasure take him over the edge.

They stood there, locked together, until Grissom noticed the water beginning to cool. "We had better get out before we freeze," he said. He slowly lowered Sara to her feet and turned off the water. Keeping her pinned against the wall for another moment he ravaged her mouth. "Hello, Ms. Sidle," he said with a smile.

A little while later, after they had eaten, Grissom and Sara were snuggled together between the sheets. Her head was resting on his shoulder and he was trailing a finger lazily up and down her bare arm. She was absently stroking his chest and listening to his heart beat. They had been talking about which furniture they were keeping and what they would need. "Do you ever get nervous?" Sara asked.

"No. What's to be nervous about?" Grissom said quietly.

"I don't know. I'm just a little scared about giving up my independence. It's a hard won thing for a woman, you know." Sara's voice was so low that Grissom had to strain to hear.

"It's a little late to be having second thoughts now. We close on the house next week. Besides, you practically live here now. What is going to be so different?" Grissom's voice was reasonable but a knot had formed in his stomach.

Sara hesitated for a minute, trying to find the words to explain her feelings. Finally she said, "There's no real difference. I think it's knowing that if something were to go wrong I wouldn't have anything to fall back on." She felt Grissom stiffen beside her and knew that he didn't understand her feelings.

"What is going to go wrong?" Grissom asked. His voice was dangerously soft.

Sara rose up on an elbow and looked down into his eyes. "Gris, please don't be mad. I'm just a little freaked out about giving up my apartment. You, of all people, should understand how hard it is to give up something you've worked for." The words seemed to hang in the air between them. "I'm sorry. That wasn't fair." Sara's eyes glistened with unshed tears and she tried to shift out of Grissom's embrace. He pulled her back to his side.

"Sara, you asked me to take a chance and I did. I have never been happier or more content in my life. All I'm asking is that you take a chance on me. Is that so hard to do?" Grissom said. He placed a tender kiss on her forehead and, wrapping both arms around her, hugged her to his chest. "I love you, Sara, and will not leave until you run me off."

"I love you too, Gris. I'll be fine. I just didn't think I was so attached to my own space. This is just a very strange time for me. I'm not backing out, just trying to keep my head straight." Sara smiled and then yawned. "Hold me while I sleep?" she asked.

"I'll be right here. Forever," Grissom replied. He lay awake long after Sara had drifted off with fear gnawing a hole in his gut.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

Chapter 7

The next couple of weeks passed in a blur. Grissom and Sara had finished packing up the stuff in her apartment. They had even managed to pack everything except bare necessities at Grissom's place too. Everything was labeled and ready for the movers. The things they didn't need had been taken, with the help of Nick, Warrick and Greg, to Goodwill. The guys had been a little surprised that the two of them were moving in together. Not one of them had imagined the relationship to be that serious. Obviously Grissom and Sara were doing a good job of keeping their personal and professional lives separate. Sara was still a little uneasy about giving up her apartment but knew, in her gut, that she was doing the right thing.

Finally moving day was upon them. The company they had hired showed up bright and early. The men worked efficiently and soon had everything from Grissom's townhouse loaded and were ready to move on to Sara's apartment. Around noon all of her things were loaded in the truck. By four o'clock the men had unloaded the truck, set up the bedroom furniture and put the boxes in the appropriate rooms. Grissom gave them a generous tip and closed the door behind them. Turning, he surveyed the room. Their new furniture had been delivered the day before but there were no pictures on knick knacks. No evidence that anyone actually lived here. With a sigh at the amount of work to be done he went in search of Sara. He found her in the master bedroom putting sheets on the bed. He walked over and grabbed one side, giving her a helping hand. She smiled at him across the width of the mattress.

"You okay?" Grissom asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine," Sara said. "Why?"

"Just wanted to make sure you weren't having anymore second thoughts." Grissom's tone was light but his eyes were serious as he studied Sara's face.

Sara straightened up and walked around the bed to stand in front of Grissom. "I am not having second thoughts. It just seems strange. I have been on my own since I was seventeen. I didn't realize how much I valued that independence."

"I can understand that," Grissom said with a smile. "I, personally, have been on my own for longer than you."

"Are you having second thoughts?" Sara asked with a grin.

"No. I have never been more positive about anything in my life. I love you, Sara." Grissom leaned in and pressed a sweet kiss to her mouth. "Let's get this bed made. I have a feeling we're both going to be glad it's done later on."

"Oh, really," Sara chuckled. "I don't think we really need to make the bed for that."

"Ms. Sidle you have a dirty mind." Grissom turned her around and swatted her behind. "Go back to your side."

Grissom and Sara worked for a few more hours before Sara looked up and said, "I'm hungry. What do you want for dinner?"

"Take out," Grissom said helpfully.

"Okay, if you're going to be a funny man, you'll have to eat what I order." Sara said going in search of a phone book.

"How about you order and I'll go get it. I'll even go to the grocery store and pick up some stuff for tomorrow." Grissom had been waiting for an excuse to get out of the house for a few minutes. There was a something hidden in his car that he needed to sneak into the house.

When Grissom returned Sara had found plates and utensils. She had also unearthed some candles and had them burning in the living room. "Hey. I thought we could have a picnic. Since the table is covered with stuff it seemed like the practical thing."

"Okay with me. I bought some wine. If you'll put the other stuff away I'll open it." Grissom reached in his pocket and pulled out his Swiss army knife. He used the cork screw to open the wine. He then opened the food and put it on the plates Sara had set out. Sara found two wine glasses and poured the wine. They carried their plates and glasses into the living room and sat down on the floor to eat.

"I am so tired," Sara said. "I had forgotten how much work this is."

"It is very stressful," Grissom agreed. While they ate, they talked about the stuff that still had to be done and what the plan of attack was. When Sara had cleaned her plate and started picking the vegetables off Grissom's he pushed his plate over to her and stood. He carried her plate into the kitchen and came back with the bottle of wine. He poured them each another glass and prayed that she wouldn't notice his hand shaking. Sara finished picking over the remains of Grissom's dinner and pushed the plate away. Leaning back she sighed.

"Feeling better?" Grissom asked.

"Much better. Did you get enough to eat? You usually don't leave me anything to scavenge." Sara studied Grissom's face. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine. Just not very hungry for some reason." Grissom paused for a second before continuing. "Sara, you remember the first time we were here."

"Of course. How could I forget?" Sara smiled at him.

"Well, I wanted to make tonight just as memorable." He took a fortifying sip from his glass and then placed it on the coffee table. He reached over and took her left hand in his. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, both inside and out. You have me enthralled. If anyone had told me I could be this happy I would never have believed them. You are the love of my life." He took the ring out of his pocket and held it up as his eyes searched Sara's. "Will you marry me Sara?"

Her eyes had gone wide and her mouth was opened into a small 'o'. Finding her voice, she said, "Yes. No matter how many times you ask, it will still be yes."

Slowly, he slid the ring onto her finger. Raising her hand to his mouth he placed a lingering kiss over the ring. "I love you, Sara. You have just made me the happiest man on earth." He pulled her to him in a kiss that was both sweet and incredibly hot. Lifting his lips from hers he asked, "Do you like it?"

Sara pulled back just enough to bring her hand up to her eyes. When she saw the detail of the ring she looked at Grissom and, with her heart in her eyes, said, "It's beautiful. Oh, Grissom, I love it." She threw herself into his arms. When she pulled back there were tears in her eyes. She held her hand up and studied the ring again. "When did you do this?"

"A couple of weeks ago." At Sara's surprised look, he said, "A man can't tell all his secrets."

Sara shook her head in amusement. "I love you Gil Grissom," she said. Pulling away from him, she stood and held out her hand. "Let's go mess up that bed we just made."

With a smile, Grissom placed his hand in hers and let her lead him to bed.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 8

"Let's have a party." Sara laughed at the expression on Grissom's face. "I didn't suggest running naked down the street, just having a few people over."

"Why would we want to have a party?" Grissom asked. 

Sara choked back her laughter and said, "We've been in the house for a month and we haven't had anyone over. I just thought it would be nice to have the guys over and Catherine, Brass, you know, people. Call it a housewarming."

"Isn't the house warm enough without having a bunch of people in it?" Grissom responded with a smile in his voice.

"We could also get them all together and make the big announcement. They have to find out sooner or later," Sara suggested. "I don't even wear my ring so that there are no questions and I really want to wear it outside of here."

Grissom sat there for a moment before saying, "You're right. Let's just do it all at once and get it over with."

Sara laughed out loud. "Grissom, you are the only man I know who can make a party sound like a death sentence."

The day of Sara and Grissom's housewarming arrived and found Grissom anxious. He was wandering through the house straightening things that had already been straightened and, in general, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but where he was. Finally, Sara had had enough.

"Gris, please stop pacing around the house. You are making me tired. Don't you have a journal to read or a paper to write or a bug to study? Anything to keep you busy?" Sara's voice was exasperated.

"No I don't. I don't have anything to do except try to drive you crazy. That seems like fitting pay back for making me go through this." Grissom's expression was so woebegone that Sara almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

"You know," Sara said as she sauntered over to wrap her arms around Grissom's neck, "we have a couple of hours before we have to get the food ready and get dressed. I can think of something to occupy you."

"Now that's a distraction a man could get involved in," Grissom said and pulled Sara against him. He bent his head and began nuzzling her neck, placing nibbling little kisses over the soft skin. 

Sara tangled her fingers in his hair and let out a little moan of delight. "I'm glad you are so easily distracted." She tugged on his hair until he brought his lips up to hers. The kiss had just started to heat up when the door bell rang.

"Damn," Grissom said. "Please don't tell me they're this early."

"I can't imagine they would be. Why don't you see who it is?" Sara suggested while trying to hide her excitement.

Reluctantly, Grissom loosened his hold on Sara and went to open the door. Sara smiled when she heard him say, "Mom? What are you doing here?"

A minute later, a smiling Grissom escorted his mother into the living room. Facing his mother he said, while signing, "Mom, this is Sara. It would seem that you two already know each other."

Sara held out her hand which was ignored. Instead, Sara found herself enveloped in a warm embrace. Pulling back, Sara said, "It's nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Grissom. I'm so glad you could come. Did you have any trouble getting here?"

Mrs. Grissom signed while her son interpreted. "She says please call her Olivia, she is happy to meet you, she had a very uneventful trip and she is glad to be here."

Grissom then turned to his mother, "Would you like something to drink?" He laughed and said, "I'll show you where it is and put your bag in the guest room. Sara, would you start a pot of coffee? We'll be right back." Grissom picked up his mother's suitcase and placed his hand on her elbow to guide her from the room.

A minute later Grissom walked into the kitchen looking for Sara. "How did you do this without me finding out?"

"A woman can't tell all her secrets," Sara said with a smile. "Is it okay? Maybe I should have asked first." Her eyes searched his face looking for any hint of anger.

"Sara, I am very glad she's here. I can't believe she made the trip. She isn't as young as she used to be you know." Grissom smiled and reached out to stroke a finger down her cheek. "You never cease to amaze me." He cupped her cheek and bent his head to place a kiss on her lips. He lingered there drinking in the taste of her until the sound of a throat being cleared startled them both.

Grissom turned and grinned at his mother. "What? I'm a big boy now." 

"Yes, I can see that," Olivia signed. "She's beautiful, your Sara. Are you going to marry her?"

Grissom shook his head. "You were never known for your restraint. Reminds me of someone else I know. Maybe that's why I love her." He smiled at the shock on his mother's face. "Yes you understood me."

Sara had stood silently, watching the exchange. She stepped forward and said, "Grissom, why don't you take your mother on the grand tour while the coffee finishes? I'll bring a tray out when it's ready."

"Okay," Grissom said. "Mom, would you like to see the house?"

At her nod, he swept his arm out to indicate which direction she should go. The whole tour took less than ten minutes. When Sara heard Grissom's voice in the living room she poured coffee into the three cups on the tray and carried it out to them. The three of them sat sipping their coffee and talking (with Grissom interpreting) for over an hour. Sara noticed the time and said, "I am going to take a shower and get dressed. I have to get the food started in about forty-five minutes and I need to be dressed first"  
She stood and collected the cups and tray, carrying everything back into the kitchen. She loaded the dirty dishes into the dishwasher and straightened the kitchen. Satisfied that everything was as it should be she went to take a shower. When she emerged from the bedroom a little less than an hour later Grissom was still sitting on the couch talking with his mother. He looked up as Sara entered the room.

"Wow," Grissom said standing and walking forward to meet her. "You look fantastic." His simple statement brought a blush to her cheeks. Sara was wearing a red dress. It was sleeveless and had a dipping neck line that exposed just enough cleavage to make him sweat. It hugged her curves, without being clingy, and stopped just above her knee. Her medium heeled red sandals made her calves look incredible. Her hair, pulled up in a messy knot, looked soft and touchable. Her earrings were silver and dangled from her earlobes, drawing attention to the column of her throat. Her makeup was subtle but noticeable. She kept her left hand fisted by her side, not wanting to give away the surprise too soon. "You're much to pretty to cook."

"Thank you kind sir but there's no cooking involved. I have to set out trays and pop things in the oven. I can do that without making a mess." Sara held Grissom's gaze and gave him a slow smile. "Why don't you go ahead and get ready? I laid your clothes on the bed."

"Do you need some help? I can be ready in a few minutes," Grissom said. 

"I'll be fine. You just go ahead and shower. When you get done you can open the wine and set up the bar." Turning to face Olivia, Sara said, "Do you want to freshen up before everyone arrives?" At the woman's nod Sara asked Grissom to make sure she had everything she would need.

Sara was in the kitchen setting up the food. She had mini quiches in the oven and had put out trays of fruit, vegetables and cheeses. She had been busy in the living room also, lighting candles and fluffing pillows. There was music playing softly in the background. She turned when she heard footsteps on the terra cotta floor of the kitchen. 

Grissom's mother stood there with a smile so like her son's that it made Sara's heart roll over in her chest. She had changed into a striking dress of a shade of blue that matched her eyes perfectly. Her curly grey hair had been fluffed around her face and she had a hint of makeup highlighting her lips and cheeks. She was a beautiful woman. "You look great, Olivia," Sara said. Suddenly, Sara thought of something she wanted to do. "Can you watch these for me? They need five more minutes." When Olivia nodded Sara hurried to the bedroom in search of Grissom.

When she returned to the kitchen there was a secretive smile playing around her lips. The two women were soon joined by Grissom. His mother stood up and went over to adjust his collar. She stretched up to kiss his cheek and signed, "You are a very handsome man."

Grissom blushed and said, "Thank you. I have good genes."

Sara turned and caught her breath at the sight of him. His flat front khaki's were a good fit and his yellow button down really looked good on him. It made his eyes seem very blue and his tan appear deeper. He had the sleeves rolled up to expose his muscular forearms. "Goodness, bugman, you are seriously hot." Grissom ducked his head in embarrassment, eliciting a laugh from Sara. "Thanks," he said. "I'll just get the wine open and the other things out." He went about the task with a single mindedness that had Sara worried.

She walked up beside him and said quietly, "Are you okay?"

He turned his head and said, "Just a little nervous. Not used to hanging my personal life out in front of people."

"No man is an island, Gris," Sara said. "They are our friends. We need to share this with them. Okay?"

Grissom nodded as the door bell rang signaling the arrival of their first guests. 


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 9

The party was a success. Everyone was having a good time, talking and laughing together. It was a different atmosphere and they were all much more relaxed. The alcohol helped to loosen up the ones who didn't have to work later. 

Catherine had arrived first. Nick and Greg arrived at the same time but not in the same car. Doc Robbins brought his wife along and Warrick brought Tina. David, Hodges, Bobby and Archie also made an appearance. Bringing up the rear were Brass and Sofia. This raised quite a few eyebrows because they did actually come together. 

Sara showed everyone around while Grissom poured drinks and worked the front door. They all commented on how lovely the house was. They ate and drank and tried to pretend they weren't studying Grissom and Sara like some sort of strange science experiment. They all gushed over Grissom's mother until she was thoroughly flustered and half in love with Brass. 

Everyone brought gifts. After all, what's a housewarming without gifts? Catherine brought candles, lots of scented candles because she knew that Sara loved them. Warrick and Tina brought a very nice bottle of wine that they instructed the pair to save for a very special occasion. Doc Robbins had brought a beautiful plant that would sit in a place of honor beside Grissom's gift to Sara. The boys, along with Brass and Sofia, had all chipped in for a gift certificate to an upscale home décor store.

As is most often the case when law enforcement people are gathered, talk turned to the job. They talked about strange cases and the things they had seen. They laughed as Catherine and Grissom related the story of the furry convention and Grissom told the story of the gay man and fat lady. Greg's affection for showgirl head gear was the topic of much discussion. Brass told about the swingers who washed sex toys in the dishwasher. Laughter filled the room and reminded them all that they were more than lucky to be together.

When Nick started looking at his watch and making noises about leaving for work, Sara caught Grissom's eye and gave him a small smile. He raised his eyebrow in response. Sara moved to stand next to him and cleared her throat. "Before anyone has to leave, we wanted to thank everyone for coming. I have enjoyed having you in our home. I'm sure Gris has too, despite his scowl. Maybe, between the two of us, we can learn to be more social." Her last comment drew a laugh from everyone. "There is one other thing that we wanted you all to know," Sara paused and cleared her throat. "I hope I get this right," she mumbled turning to face Olivia. She signed along with her words, "We are engaged."

The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. For a breathless few seconds no one even moved. Suddenly, Olivia Grissom jumped up from her seat on the couch and rushed over to embrace Sara. Releasing her future daughter-in-law she turned to her son. "I am so happy for you. She is a beautiful woman and she loves you. I was beginning to think you would never find a woman who could put up with you." Her hands flew and her eyes were filled with unshed tears. She was smiling when she hugged Grissom to her. Olivia's reaction served as a catalyst for everyone else. Doc Robbins stood and raised his glass in a toast to the happiness of the two geekiest geeks he knew. Everyone started talking at once.

Greg approached Sara and stood in front of her with a pitiful look on his face. "I thought you were going to wait for me. What does Grissom have that I don't?" 

"Besides me?" Sara said with a laugh. "You'll always be my favorite student Greggo."

Always theatrical, Greg covered his heart with both hands and said, "Oh, you wound me. Seriously, Sara, I'm happy for you. It's about time." He threw his arms around Sara in a friendly hug before moving over to congratulate Grissom.

Brass hugged Sara and whispered his congratulations. He moved over to shake Grissom's hand. "Gil, I'm happy for you. Although I didn't think you had it in you." 

Grissom smiled and said, "Thank you. But it was never about what was in me. It was about what I would let out"  
David and the lab techs congratulated them both. Sofia was a little more restrained. She held out her hand to Sara and said, "Congratulations, Sara. I hope you'll be very happy."

"Thank you, Sofia," Sara said. "No hard feelings?"

Sofia gave a tight smile and shook her head before moving over to congratulate Grissom. "Gil, congratulations." Much to Grissom's embarrassment she reached up a placed a kiss on his cheek before moving to take a seat by Brass.

Warrick hugged Sara and said, "I am glad he finally got it together. He has always loved you, you know. Congratulations." He moved over to talk to Grissom

"I can't believe you guys have kept this a secret." Nick smiled at Sara. "Are you happy?" When she nodded he said, "Then I'm happy for you." He hugged Sara tightly and kissed her cheek. Pulling back he noticed the tears swimming in her eyes and shook his head slightly. "Happy girls don't cry." 

He moved over and shook Grissom's hand. "You do know how lucky you are, right?' 

"Yes, Nick, I do," Grissom said quietly. 

"Just love her the way she deserves." Nick smiled and moved away.

Catherine hung back until everyone else was done. She walked up to Sara and said, "Let me see." Smiling she held Sara's extended hand and studied the ring. "It's beautiful Sara. Even better than I remembered."

"Remembered?" Sara asked.

"You don't think Gil knew where to go to buy a ring do you? I only took him to the right place. He did the rest himself." Catherine hugged Sara and said, "Congratulations. Keep him happy, okay?" She then hugged Grissom and congratulated him.

After Nick, Greg, David and all the lab techs had departed the others lingered. They talked and laughed, telling more stories and regaling Olivia with their exploits. Grissom took his share of good natured ribbing over his hissing cockroaches. The story of Sara's plant earned him more. After a while Olivia stood up and excused herself, stating that she was exhausted from the travel and excitement. The others took that as their cue to leave and soon Sara and Grissom were alone.

When the door had closed behind the last of their guests Grissom pulled Sara into his arms and said, "Did you have a good time?"

"Yeah, I did. And you?" Sara asked with a smile.

"Actually, I enjoyed it. Not sure I'd want them here all the time but it was nice." Grissom returned her smile and pressed his lips to her hair. "Let's get this cleaned up. Maybe we can have 'made a big announcement sex'."

"Never heard of it. Is it anything like 'paid the phone bill sex'?" Sara asked with a wicked grin.

"You are catching on Ms. Sidle. You are catching on." Grissom said with laughter in his voice. "Come on. Let's hurry." 


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Sorry this took so long. It's been a tough couple of weeks. I'm back at it though and hope to have it finished soon.

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 10

It had been several months since the party at the new house. Wedding plans were well under way and even Grissom seemed a little excited, more at the prospect that this would soon be over than that it was actually going to happen. Neither of them wanted to get married in one of the chapels along the strip. Their love felt much more permanent that something you should declare at a drive thru. After much debate, on Sara's part, she picked one of the small parks at Lake Mead. The flowers were taken care of, as was the Justice of the Peace and the reservations for the restaurant. The day Sara asked Brass to give her away they both cried a little and then laughed to cover their embarrassment. Grissom had made his mother's travel arrangements and they were both looking forward to seeing her again. Everything was going fine, or so it seemed.

Grissom had been called out on a case mid-way through the shift and was still out when Sara left to go home. When he let himself in through the garage door three hours later he found her sitting on the couch hastily wiping tears from her face. "Sara? Is everything okay?" Grissom asked the smile fading from his face.

Sara stood quickly and plastered a smile on her face. "Yeah, everything's fine." She placed a quick kiss on his lips and said, "Are you hungry? I was waiting for you."

Grissom studied her eyes and said, "I could stand to eat something. Why are you crying?"

"I'm okay, really. I'll make some eggs. Okay?" Sara walked into the kitchen with Grissom following.

Grissom sat at the bar watching Sara cook. His mind was running back to the week before they moved and the conversation about giving up her independence. Was she having second thoughts? His stomach was in a knot and he could feel the beginnings of a migraine. He closed his eyes and massaged the bridge of his nose. He jumped when Sara slid a plate in front of him. The smile he gave her was weak. "Thanks," he said.

Sara gave him a puzzled glance then mentally shrugged. They sat in silence, pushing food around their plates, neither of them eating. After a few minutes Grissom looked up and said, "Are you leaving me?"

"What?" Sara's voice was almost a squeak. Her fork clattered against her plate and she said, "What are you talking about?"

"Are you having second thoughts? I know it was hard for you to give up your apartment and move in here." Grissom's eyes bored into hers. "I just need to make sure you aren't going to leave."

"Grissom," Sara said, her voice exasperated, "I'm not leaving. I'm happy here."

"Then why are you crying? It's not like I come home everyday to find you looking forlorn with tears running down your face."

Sara sat quietly for a moment. Grissom could see the battle being raged behind her eyes. With a deep sigh, Sara said, "I have been thinking about my mother."

Grissom's relief was evident. "What about your mother?"

"It's just that there is a lot of unfinished business there. I haven't seen her in years. Once I was placed with the Clark's in Tamales Bay it was too far and they were too busy. Not that they wouldn't have taken me if I asked, I just never asked. Then I was in Boston, San Francisco and here. I just never found the time. I never took the time," she said in a soft voice with tears swimming in her eyes.

"Do you want to see her now?" Grissom asked reaching out to brush away the tears running down her cheeks.

"I don't know. It's been so long. What would I say to her? I understand better now what happened but I still don't feel that she did the right thing. It's one thing to write a letter. You can lie to someone when you don't have to see their eyes," Sara said with a slight shrug.

"Why do you have to lie? Tell her what you just told me. Regardless of right or wrong, her actions helped make you who you are. I'm sure she would be glad to see you." Grissom stood and gathered Sara into his arms. "I'll take you if you want me to."

"You would do that for me?" Sara asked in a soft voice. She seemed amazed that he would even consider going to a prison to see a woman he had never met.  
"I would do anything for you. Anything." Grissom ran his hand over her hair and pressed his lips to the top of her head.

"Let me think about it, okay?" Sara said. Turning her head she placed a soft kiss underneath his jaw. "Thank you. Let's go to bed."

They cleaned up the kitchen and went into the bedroom. Sara climbed into bed and waited on Grissom to get done in the shower. He came out of the bathroom and climbed into bed beside her. Turning on his side to face her, he said, "Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

"Not in at least twelve hours," she replied with a soft smile. "I think it's about time to hear it again."

While holding her gaze, letting his heart speak to hers, Grissom said, "I think Elizabeth Barrett Browning said it best,

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.  
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of being and ideal grace.  
I love thee to the level of every day's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.  
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.  
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.  
I love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.  
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,  
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,  
I shall but love thee better after death"

Sara looked at him with her soft chocolate eyes and said, "Make love to me. I need to feel you."

Without hesitation, Grissom pulled her against his body. His kiss was strong and sure and immediately ignited a fire in them both. He kissed her thoroughly. Slow, deep, soul kisses that seemed to go on forever, tongues stroking, teeth nipping. He held her as if he wanted to absorb her into his body. His hands were gentle, moving in long, lazy strokes over her body. Their legs were tangled together, feet stroking over claves, thighs moving against thighs. Their breath mingled until it seemed that where one ended the other began. Wrapping Sara's legs around his waist, he entered her in one smooth motion. They lay on their sides, foreheads touching, soaking up the feel of one another. Grissom moved slowly, not thrusting, barely rocking his hips. Joined together, they relished the feel of skin on skin. They whispered and kissed and touched. After a while, Grissom began to thrust a little harder. Holding Sara's gaze with his own, he said, "Look at me. I want to see your eyes." He watched as she climaxed and then joined her.

Lying in the afterglow, Sara spoke. "I think that I would like for you to take me to see my mother." Her voice was quiet and tears trembled in her eyes. "When can we go?"

"Let me arrange some things at work and we'll work it out," Grissom told her. After a while, he said, "I won't let anything bad happen, Sara. Trust me."


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: This was the hardest chapter so far. I hope that I was able to convey the right feel. Any review is appreciated.

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 11

The loud buzz caused Sara to jump and clutch Grissom's hand tighter. She laughed, mirthlessly, at her nerves. How many times had she heard that sound in the course of her career? At this moment it might as well have been the first time. When the door clanged shut behind them she jumped again. Her heart was pounding and her palms were sweaty. Grissom watched her from the corner of his eye. He didn't like the fact that she was pale. She was beyond edgy, bordering on terrified.

"Sara, we don't have to do this," he said in a quiet voice. "She would never have to know you were here."

"I have to," she replied. "I need to do this. I need to know that I'm not like her."

"Sweetheart," Grissom started and then shrugged at a loss for words. How could he convince her that she would never be a victim like her mother? How could anyone convince her that there was no such thing as a murder gene? He squeezed her hand and nodded. "Let's go. I'll be with you the entire time."

With a smile that was more of a grimace, Sara said, "Don't let go."

They walked the last few feet to the visitation area where tables were set up with chairs grouped around them. Signs on the institutional gray walls prohibited smoking and physical contact with the inmates. The couple picked a table in a corner and sat down to wait for the guards to bring Laura Sidle in. Grissom could feel Sara gathering herself together. Her back straightened and her head came up. She tucked her hair behind her ears and drew in a deep, yet somewhat ragged, breath. Turning to face him, she gave him a smile. "I can do this, right?"

With love and concern shining in his eyes, he gently replied, "You can do anything. You are the toughest, most resilient woman I know."

"Thank you," she said with a tight smile. Turning away from him, Sara resumed watching the door. When she saw her mother for the first time in over two decades, Sara couldn't breathe. Like a blow to the solar plexus the sight of her mother forced all the air from her lungs. There were so many emotions vying for top position that she didn't know which one to feel first. There were anger and sadness, pain and fear, hope and joy. However, the one that shocked her the most was love. She had always loved her parents. Even when she was afraid of her father and in fear for her mother there was love. She fought back the tears that threatened to fall and stood so that she could meet the woman who had given birth to her.

When Grissom felt Sara stiffen and heard the hitch in her breathing he turned. His comforting words never made it past his lips. Standing just across the room was Sara, or at least an idea of how she would look in twenty years. Time had not been kind to Laura Sidle. Her nose had obviously been broken before and her skin was sallow. But the bone structure was undeniable. The hair, now shot through with gray, had once been the same lustrous brown as her daughter's. The long, lean body was a little soft in places but would still turn heads if she were in the right clothes. When Sara stood, he stood with her waiting on his future mother-in-law to see them.

Laura's eyes scanned the room. She hadn't been in the visitation area since the last time she saw her daughter, nearly twenty-five years before. She had waited, week after week, for a visit until her well of hope had finally run dry. When Laura received the letter that Sara was coming and bringing someone with her she was overwhelmed. She was angry and sad, hurt and afraid, hopeful and joyful. Seeing Sara was all she could think about for weeks. The few letters she had received over the years were no substitute for actually seeing her child's face, hearing her voice, just being near her. When she spotted the man and woman standing across the room she couldn't believe her eyes. The woman could have passed for her twin. She took a tentative step in that direction and then another. Suddenly she was hurrying across the room only to stop short when she remembered that she couldn't physically touch the woman standing there. Laura's eyes moved over Sara's face as if memorizing every feature. Smiling through the tears running down her face Laura said, "You're beautiful."

For the first time in her life Sara was speechless. Coming to her rescue, Grissom said, "Let's sit down." He held out a chair for Sara and motioned for Laura to take a seat. Trying to put the woman at ease he introduced himself. "Mrs. Sidle, my name is Gil Grissom. It's nice to meet you."

Wiping her eyes, Laura Sidle said, "Please call me Laura. No one has called me Mrs. Sidle in years."

"Well, I guess that makes sense," Sara stated. Realizing that she had actually spoken the words she dropped her eyes to avoid her mother's startled gaze. Bringing her gaze back to her mother, she said, "Sorry. I sometimes over talk."

"It's okay. I guess I deserved that." Continuing to keep her eyes on Sara's face, she said, "Tell me about you. I want to know everything."

"We only get an hour. I don't think there will be enough time to cover twenty-five years." Sara dripped sarcasm as she leaned back in the chair and crossed her arms over her chest. "Besides, I have questions I need answered."

"Sara," Grissom soothed while letting his hand massage the back of her neck.

Turning to look at her fiancé, she gave him a weak smile. "I'm okay Gris. I won't embarrass you."

"I'm not worried about that." His gaze held hers captive as he spoke to her with his eyes.

Turning to look at her mother, Sara said, "I just need to know why. Why couldn't you just leave? Why did it have to come to this?" Sara gestured around at the bars on the windows and the other inmates spending 'quality' time with their loved ones. "I think, after all this time, you owe me an explanation."

Laura sat quietly for a moment before saying, "You're right. You deserve to know what happened that day." After gathering her thoughts, she said, "It started just like any other day except that your father had not gone to work. I woke up and got you ready for school. After you caught the bus, I went in to take a shower. It goes without saying that it had not been a good night. The number of good days was getting smaller. The only time Paul ever stayed out of work was when he was too hung over to function. He had come in the evening before and refused to eat dinner. Instead, he began drinking. I knew the signs so I made sure that you were fed and in your room early."

Laura's voice had taken on a dreamy quality and her eyes had a faraway look. She was back there, more than remembering, almost reliving what had happened all those years ago. "You knew the rules. Once I put you in your room you didn't come out. So, when all hell broke loose an hour later, you weren't supposed to see it. Do you remember what happened that night?"

Sara nodded, and tried to speak. Her throat was tight and her voice rough. "I remember coming out and yelling at him to stop. I remember he had you on the floor, kicking you and I screamed for him to stop."

"Do you remember that he hit you?" Laura's eyes had filled with tears that were running slowly down her cheeks in hot tracks. "Do you remember trying to get between us?"

Now it was Sara's turn to go back to that night. Her gaze turned inward and she saw the events as if they were unfolding on a movie screen. "I remember opening the door. I had to go to the bathroom and I was trying to sneak across the hall. I remember seeing you on the living room floor. He was kicking you and you were curled in a knot. I was afraid he was going to kill you." Sara's voice was ragged and her hands were trembling.

"You ran into the living room and started screaming at him to stop. You were hitting him on the back and yelling for him to leave me alone." Laura drew in a deep breath, trying to find the words to continue. "I was trying to tell you to go back to your room and you were screaming and crying and trying to pull him off me. He turned around and hit you. Not on the face. He hit you on the side of your head and you went down. While he was distracted, I grabbed his foot and pulled. He fell and his head hit the floor hard enough to knock him out. I got you into your room and I locked us in. You were crying and begging me to leave him. I held you until you went to sleep." Laura stopped and dropped her head into her hands. Her shoulders shook from her silent sobs. Lifting her head, she said, "I need to get some water."

Grissom stood. "I'll get you a bottle. Sara, would you like something?"

"Water please," she said and handed over the bag of change they had brought in.

When he returned, he handed a bottle to each woman and sat down beside Sara. Leaning toward her, he said, "Are you okay?"

She nodded and whispered, "I'm fine." Turning to her mother, Sara said, "What happened the next day?"

Laura took another drink and sighed. "Uh…the next day, after you went to school, I took a shower and sat down at the table. I started to think about what had happened the night before. The longer I sat there the angrier I became. I might have deserved his abuse but you never did." When Laura saw Sara trying to say something, she held up her hand. "I'm only telling you what I thought then. I have had enough counseling to know that I didn't deserve any of it."

"I sat there for about an hour. I thought of all the things I had been through. I thought of all the broken bones and bruises. I thought of the fear. I thought of how much I loved you and what could happen to you in that house." Laura paused and took another drink of water. She sat there for a moment and gathered her thoughts. "I considered leaving. I thought about packing up and running. The problem was I had nowhere to go. I had no job, no money, no car, no family, and no friends. I had nothing. I realize that all of these things are part of the abusive relationship. Paul kept me isolated so that I had to depend on him for everything."

"What about a shelter? What about the police?" Sara snapped. "Why didn't you call the police? There were enough hospital records to support your claims of abuse. I remember all the trips to the emergency room."

"The resources that are available today were not always out there. Even in 1980 people didn't talk about domestic violence. A woman made her bed and she had to lie in it." Laura cleared her throat before continuing. "I'm not making excuses, Sara. I'm trying to tell you what happened. I never said I did the right thing. I did what I thought had to be done."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Finish please," Sara said.

"I never made a conscious decision to kill him. I never thought, 'Okay, I'll just go in there and stab him'. When he woke up, I cooked breakfast. I cleaned the kitchen. I did some laundry. Then Paul asked where you were. I told him you were at school. He told me that he was going to 'kick your ass', when you got home, for disrespecting him. He said you needed to learn a lesson about who was in charge in that house. I told him it wouldn't happen again. I told him that I had talked to you and you promised never to be disrespectful again."

Laura chuckled and shook her head at the absurdity of the conversation. "I honestly thought that I could convince him to let it go. I should have known better. He said some things that I refuse to repeat, even now. After a while, he said he was going to take a nap so he would be rested when you got home. He wanted to be sure you never forgot the lesson he was going to teach you. I sat at the table again and thought about what he had said. I knew that he would do exactly as he promised. I knew that he would hurt you. That is when I knew I had to get us away from him."

Laura was so caught up in the story that she didn't see the horror on Sara's face. She didn't see the tears running down her daughter's face or standing in Grissom's eyes. She was sitting at her kitchen table listening to her husband snoring from the other room. "I could hear him and knew he was asleep. I sat there and remembered the day you were born. I remembered what it felt like to hold you. I remembered that I was your only hope. I stood up and went to the drawer. I pulled out the biggest knife in the house. I walked down the hall and I stood in the door watching him sleep."

Realizing where she was, Laura Sidle looked at her daughter. When she saw the pain in Sara's eyes she asked, "Are you sure you want to hear this?"

Sara couldn't find her voice so she nodded. Seeing the reluctance in her mother's eyes she finally managed to squeeze out, "Please."

Grissom studied Sara's face. He wanted to pull her against his chest and hold her. He wanted to take away the pain she was feeling. Never had he felt so helpless. He reached over and took her hand, giving it a squeeze.

"Sara, please try to understand that I loved him. I just loved you more. I couldn't let him hurt you. I felt like I had no choice." Laura was pleading with her daughter to understand. "I was trying to protect you."

"Just tell me what happened." Sara's voice was low and without inflection.

"You know what happened. I walked over to the bed and I stabbed him. The thing is, once I started, I couldn't stop. It was cathartic. I kept stabbing and stabbing. There was so much blood. I didn't know there would be so much blood." Laura was once again back in the house. She could smell the blood and the other odors of death. She could see the body of her husband. "When I realized that he was dead I went to the kitchen and called the police. Then I sat down at the table to wait for them. I knew I was going to jail. I also knew you would be safe. That's all I wanted – for you to be safe." Laura searched her daughter's eyes before saying, "I'm sorry."

"I have to go," Sara said. "I have to get out of here. I can't breathe." She pushed back from the table and hurried across the room.

Grissom stood and picked up Sara's jacket. "Laura, I would like to say it's been a pleasure."

"Mr. Grissom, you love my daughter, correct?" When he nodded she continued, "Please get her some help. She needs to let this go. I wish that I had handled things differently but I can't change the past. I would like for her to visit me again – if that it what she wants."

"I will do everything I can to make sure she heals. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go." With that, Grissom followed Sara out of the room. He found her standing just outside the visitor's gate, hands in her pockets and tears streaming down her face. He pulled her against his chest and whispered non-sense to her until her sobs had subsided. Leaning back, he looked into her eyes and said, "Come on. Let's go home."


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: I reposted this because everything got all bunched up and didn't really make sense. Thanks to everyone for the reviews! Keep 'em coming...

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 12

Grissom chuckled at Sara's deep sigh. "What is it honey?" he asked as they lay spooned together drifting in the space between awake and asleep.

"Why would anyone knowingly do this to themselves?" Sara responded.

"Do what?" Grissom questioned. "Try to sleep?"

Sara huffed out a laugh. "Get married. Why would anybody want to have a wedding?"

"It's only three weeks away. Console yourself with the knowledge that it will be over soon." Grissom tried unsuccessfully to hide the laughter in his voice.

"Thank God!" she all but shouted. "I will be so glad when this is over."

"Sara, you're starting to give me a complex," Grissom said with hurt in his voice. Sara couldn't see the smile playing around his mouth.

Wriggling around until she could see his face, Sara playfully punched his shoulder. "Stop. You know what I mean. Tell me you don't feel the same way."

"No. I want to stand up in front of people and declare my undying love for you. That's why I can't believe you are not excited about this," Grissom deadpanned before laughing.

"That's it bug man. Now you pay." Sara growled as she started tickling him. They rolled over the bed laughing and struggling for dominance. Sara was never sure how she ended up pinned beneath him but suddenly it didn't matter. Panting she said, "I don't think you're playing fair."

"How's that?" he asked as he bent his head to run his tongue up the side of her neck.

Gasping, she teased, "You're bigger than me. I can't win." Sara wrapped her legs around his waist and pushed her pelvis against his.

"Now who's not playing fair?" Grissom asked. "You might not want to do that." He scattered kisses across her chest, dipping his tongue under her tank to lick the tops of her breasts.

"Oh yeah? Why not?" Sara was laughing as she tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling his face up so she could look into his eyes.

"It could lead to fornication." Grissom joked as he ground against her. Propping on one arm he tried to work his other hand under her shirt.

Sara burst out laughing. "Maybe we shouldn't."

"Okay." Grissom mumbled against her neck as his hand reached its target.

"Grissom, I'm serious," Sara said.

He raised his head up and said, "What?" His blue eyes were confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I think we should…um…abstain until after the wedding." Sara said.

"You're kidding, right?" Grissom asked incredulously. As soon as the words left his mouth he knew he was in trouble. "Uh…I didn't mean it like it sounded."

"Know what? I think this is sounding better and better." Sara was giving him the evil eye and Grissom knew it was going to be a long three weeks.

"Okay," he said slowly. "Is there a reason for this self-imposed exile?"

"Yeah, actually there is." Sara said. Her voice was quiet as she continued, "We've never done anything in the traditional manner. I mean, I know it's a little late to save ourselves for marriage, but…" Her voice trailed off and she gave Grissom a helpless look.

"You're serious aren't you?" At Sara's nod, Grissom continued, "Okay. If that's what you want then that's what we'll do."

Sara's eyes searched his face and she said, "Thank you."

Grissom dipped his head and placed a sweet kiss on her lips. With a gleam in his eye he said, "Could we start tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow is a good day," Sara said in a throaty voice before pulling his lips down to hers.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sara stopped in the doorway to Grissom's office and leaned against the jamb. "Hey bug man. Got a minute?"

He raised his head and smiled. "For you, I might have a couple."

Sara sauntered over and took a seat. "I've been thinking about something and I wanted your opinion."

"Okay shoot." Grissom leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers under his chin.

"I was thinking of going back to see my mother," Sara said.

Grissom's poker days served him well. He kept his features smooth while he waited for her to continue.

"I've been thinking about things and I think it's time for me to let it go." Sara closed her eyes and drew a deep breath. "As much as you can ever let something like this go."

"Sara," Grissom said, "I think you need to do whatever will bring you peace."

"Griss, I need to start our life together with a clean slate. I want to tell her that I've found you and that we aren't like them. It hurt to hear her say she killed him to protect me. I just needed time to adjust." Sara's voice was soft but strong. Her eyes were clear of the pain and anger usually associated with any mention of her past.

"When do you want to go? I'll have to do some arranging but it shouldn't be too difficult." Grissom was trying, without success, to think of a way he could arrange to have a day off between now and the wedding.

"I want to go alone." Sara's voice was strong and she held his gaze.

"I don't think that's a good idea," he said.

"Griss, this is something I have to do. Last time I didn't know what it would feel like. Now I do. I'll be fine." Sara gave a half smile and said, "Trust me."

"When are you planning on going?" Grissom's voice was calm but his stomach was churning at the thought of Sara's reaction the last time they had visited Laura Sidle.

"I'm off this weekend. I could fly out Saturday morning and be back Saturday night. That means I wouldn't be gone over night." Sara was quiet for a moment and then added, "I really need to do this before the wedding."

"How about you get tickets for both of us? I'll sleep in the car while you're visiting and on the plane home," Grissom said.

"You don't have to do that. You have to work." Sara said while letting a smile creep across her features. Even though she was prepared to go alone the thought that he would go to that much trouble for her brought a smile to her heart.

"Sara, I want to be there if you need me." Grissom returned her smile. "Go book the tickets."

Sara stood and walked out the door. After a second she stuck her head back in his office and said, "I love you Gil," before disappearing.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: There is a tiny reference here to the first story "Because I Love You". Thanks to everyone who is reading.

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 13

Sara sat quietly, lost in thought, staring out the window at the clouds below. Her right hand was entwined with the left hand of theman next to her. She turnedto study his profile. His head was back against the seat, his eyes were closed and his lips parted in sleep. A smile played around the corners of her mouth as she drank in the sight of him. Never in a million years had she pictured them in this situation. When she went to his house that day a year and a half ago she had been looking for closure. She baited him, all but begging him to send her away, until he lost his temper. She had wanted to hear him to say he didn't have feelings for her. She was sure that would have been the catalyst she needed to get over him. Instead he had shocked them both by practically yelling that he did love her.

_"Because I love you, dammit."_ Sara could hear his voice clearly. When she thought about it Sara smiled even though it hadn't been funny at the time. The anger and pain in his voice made it sound like he had swallowed glass. That was not the way she had hoped to hear those words. But the first time his lips touched hers she knew every minute of the past ten years had been worth it. When the touch of a man's lips on yours steals your breath and makes you forget that the world exists then he is the only man for you. Sara knew she had been right to wait, however self-destructive it had seemed.

Things hadn't been all smooth sailing. There had been arguments and tears and hurt. There had also been laughs and love and tenderness. Two people with the social skills of irate skunks should maybe think twice about living together. Sara figured that as long as the good stuff outweighs the bad then there is a good chance everything will work out.

Turning her head back to the view outside, she let her mind replay the events of the day. Grissom had been determined to be there if she needed him. She was thankful that he had insisted on coming with her. Even though she had mentally prepared for the visit with her mother the reality had left her shaken. Not as bad as the first time but still not as easy as she thought. Sighing, Sara replayed the scene in her mind.

_Watching her mother walk across the visitation room, Sara was amazed at the things that could be genetically predisposed. She hadn't seen this woman in twenty-five years. She had barely remembered what she looked like. Yet, Sara knew that she carried herself the way her mother did. They walked alike, their voices were similar, and their gestures were eerily the same. If anyone asked, Sara would have denied that her mother had any influence on her outside of providing the egg. Honestly, nothing could be further from the truth._

_Her mother took a seat across from her and smiled tentatively. "Hi. It's good to see you again." Laura let out a nervous laugh and continued, "I really didn't think you'd be back after the way you left last time."_

_"I'm sorry about running out of here last time. I had to come back. There are some things I need to say." Sara took a moment to compose her thoughts. "I would like it if you would let me finish before you say anything."_

_Laura nodded and Sara started talking in a voice hardly louder than a whisper. "I remember. I remember the screaming and fighting. I remember the drinking. But most of all, I remember the fear. No kid should ever have to live in fear. You know?" Sara shook her head and closed her eyes. Opening her eyes, she continued in a stronger voice, "I didn't know why you did it. That was something I never figured out. I'm not sure that knowing has helped me understand." With a shrug and a tightening of her lips she held onto her self-control. "I will say that the things I witnessed gave me direction. I chose my career so that I could help others. No crime touches me like domestic violence. But, the funny thing is, the very thing that drives me has come close to costing me everything." Sara pressed her fingers to her eyes in an effort to ease the ache that was behind them. When she continued her voice was strong. "I am angry. I am very angry. But I have finally realized that my anger is destructive. I am destroying myself and that is not acceptable. I deserve more. So, as of right now, I am going to let this go. I will no longer blame you, or my father, for my problems."_

_When Sara had fallen silent, Laura swiped at the tears that were running down her cheeks before saying, "Sara, I'm sorry." At the disbelieving look on her daughter's face she continued, "Sorry for all the pain. I've had a long time to think about this. Not much else to do here. I know now that there were other ways to deal with the situation. But at the time it was the only solution I saw."_

_Sara took that moment to interrupt. "I will never tell you that you did the right thing, if that's what you want."_

_Laura shook her head and said, "No. I don't expect that. You are too black and white. You believe in the justice system and that it will work no matter what. I respect that."_

Sara's reverie was interrupted by the flight attendant's offer of a drink. She asked for water. Noticing that Sara only had one available hand, the woman cracked the seal on the bottle. Sara thanked her and took a long drink. Letting her mind drift back Sara continued to go over the conversation with her mother.

_"How is Mr. Grissom?" Laura's question caught Sara off guard. She fully intended to bring up Grissom, in her own time. "Why didn't he come with you?"_

_"He did. He's in the car." Laura gave her a questioning look and Sara continued, "I wanted to do this by myself. He insisted on being here. We compromised." After a second she said, "Maybe I'm not so black and white after all."_

_"He loves you Sara." Laura said this with a certainty that surprised her daughter._

_"How do you know? You've met him once. The whole visit was less than an hour and he didn't say ten words. How can you pretend to know anything about him?" Sara's voice sharpened. She didn't want to hear her mother's opinion on any aspect of her life._

_"He didn't have to say anything. It's written in his eyes when he looks at you." Laura gave a tight smile and said, "Are you happy with him?" There was fear lurking in her eyes as she studied Sara._

_"He is not my father. He is gentle and kind. He is everything I've waited for my whole life." Sara's smile was dreamy. "We're getting married. That's another reason I needed to do this. I want to start our life together with a clean slate. We deserve a shot at happiness."_

_"Sara, I hope, with all of my heart, that the two of you will be the happiest people on the face of the earth." Tears filled Laura's eyes again and she shut them tightly._

_"Thanks." Sara sat for a moment at a temporary loss for words. She had expected to feel a weight lift off her shoulders and was a little disappointed when she didn't. "I think I'll be going now. We have a plane to catch." She stood and picked up her jacket._

_Standing, Laura asked, "Will you be back?"_

_Sara answered honestly, "I don't know. I'll write you."_

_As Sara turned to go, Laura said, "I love you." The only indication that Sara had even heard was a pause in her stride as she walked away. Laura couldn't see the tears streaming down her face._

Sara didn't realize she was crying until she felt the tears dripping onto the hand lying loosely in her lap. She used her napkin to wipe the moisture from her face. Even though these were tears, they were the kind that were cleansing. They were releasing thirty-four years of pain and anger and heart break. She squeezed Grissom's hand and felt him return the gesture. She turned her head and smiled at him through the salty tracks on her face. Her heart swelled until she thought it would burst. Her love for this man was all encompassing. With concern in his eyes, Grissom reached over to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"I love you. More than I can tell you." Sara graspedthe hand on her cheek and nuzzledinto his palm.

"I love you too, honey. More than I ever thought possible." Grissom leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. Sara thought of how far they had come from the days when he wouldn't speak of his feelings, much less engage in a public display of affection. "Are you okay?" he asked in a quiet voice.

"I'm fine. Really." Sara gave him a heart melting smile. "These are good tears." She paused for a second before saying, "Go back to sleep. We'll be home soon."

Grissom nodded and then leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He wouldn't sleep but he knew that Sara needed her space to finish grieving. She had never grieved for the loss of her family, dysfunctional though it might be. He tightened his hold on her hand.

_Grissom woke with a start when Sara slammed the door of the car. "Are you okay?" he asked._

_"No," she replied. "I'm not." She sat there, breathing harshly, staring straight ahead._

_Grissom reached over and placed a hand on Sara's shoulder. How can I help her? How can I relieve the pain she must be feeling? "Sara?" he said. "Come here, honey." He gathered her into his arms and pressed her face into his shoulder. As soon has she felt his hand stroke the back of her head she broke down. She sobbed against his chest until she was spent. He stroked her hair and placed gentle kisses against the top of her head. His heart broke a thousand times as he listened to the moans that were coming from her throat. When her tears subsided, Grissom asked, "Can you tell me about it?"_

_Sara pushed away from his and sat back. Grissom offered her a handkerchief to clean her face. He sat back and waited for her to tell him what had happened. Sara told the story in fits and starts. She was calm and detached, almost as if giving a report at a crime scene, until she got to the end. "She told me she loves me, Griss." She choked on the tears._

_"She's your mother." Grissom's simple statement brought more tears, so he held her hand and waited on her to calm down._

_"I couldn't tell her that I love her." Sara's words came out on a sob. "I couldn't tell her that I forgive her. I couldn't say any of the things I thought I should."_

_"I know, honey. I know," Grissom soothed. "She understands"_

_  
They sat like that for what seemed like hours. Finally, Sara turned her head and said, "Come on. Let's go home."_

_Grissom let a sad smile play around his lips at the memory of Sara sobbing and quivering in his embrace. His love for the woman beside him made it hard for him to breathe. Suddenly, he couldn't wait for the chance to stand in front of everyone important to them both and declare his love and devotion. Opening his eyes he leaned over and whispered in Sara's ear, "I can't wait until we're married. I want everyone to know that you are the love of my life."_

Sara turned her head and rewarded Grissom with her most magnificent smile. "One more week, bug man. Just one more week."

When the plane landed, Sara drove them home.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: I know that some of this is a little trite. It's hard to write smut without being too smutty. Thanks to everyone who is reading and reviewing.

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 14

"Wasn't it wonderful?" Sara asked. She had slipped off her shoes and was resting her head against the seat. Her eyes were closed and a dreamy smile lit her face as she recalled the ceremony. "I think everybody had a nice time. Don't you?"

"It seemed that they all enjoyed themselves." Grissom's tone was dry and his eyebrow raised. "Did you have a good time today?"

"I don't think good begins to cover it." Sara chuckled and then said, in an awe filled voice, "We're married."

"It would seem so." Grissom deadpanned.

Punching his arm playfully, Sara said, "Keep acting that happy about things and I may have to rethink my plans for you."

"You have plans for me?" Grissom teased.

"It's been three weeks. I'm not overly concerned about you. This is all about me." Sara laughed at the look on Grissom's face. "Kidding," she said.

Reaching over, Grissom grasped her hand and pulled it to his lips. He placed a soft kiss on the palm and then sunk his teeth, gently, into the fleshy part below her thumb. He smiled at her indrawn breath. "I intend to make it about you. Don't worry."

Sara wiggled around in her seat until she could bring her lips to Grissom's cheek. She placed tiny kisses across his cheek, to his ear and ran her tongue around the outside edge. "Maybe we should make it about us," she whispered.

Grissom's voice was ragged when he said, "Whatever you say, dear."

"Drive faster. I can't wait to get home." Sara continued in a breathy voice as her lips caressed his neck. "I want you, Griss. Bad."

Grissom was already distracted when he felt her hand massaging him through his pants. "Sara," he squeaked. "What are you doing? We're in the car."

"I'm a trained investigator, Gil. I know where we are," Sara purred. "But, if you want me to stop I will." She had trouble suppressing her laughter when he caught her hand and pressed it more firmly against him.

Grissom had never been seduced while driving. The illicitness of the situation added to the allure and his arousal. As he hardened under her ministrations he emitted a low groan. "You can't keep that up. What if I run off the road? Do you know what the gossip hounds would have to say?"

Sara's hand went still but didn't leave his erection. "I don't want to cause an accident. I need to get you home. This is just a preview." Her eyes were full of promise as she sat back, removing her hand and mouth from his body. Grissom moaned a little at the loss of contact.

A few minutes later, Grissom drove into the garage. Once the car was in park and the motor off he turned and hooked his hand behind Sara's head, pulling her to him. He met her halfway with an eagerness born in the knowledge that he would be making love to a new woman tonight. His wife. He crushed his lips against hers in an open-mouthed kiss. Sara met his passion with passion of her own. One kiss turned into two and two turned into too many to count.

Finally, Grissom pulled back and opened his eyes. He looked around and began to laugh.When Sara's eyes fluttered open with a question in them, he said, "We seem to have fogged up the windows."

Sara glanced around and began to laugh softly. "It seems that we have. Have you ever fogged up car windows before?"

"No. Never." Grissom blushed and said, "I'm glad my first time was with you."

"Me too," Sara said with a smile.

"Should we take this inside?" Grissom trailed a finger down her cheek.

Sara captured his hand andplaced a kiss on his palm."Let's go."

"Don't move." With that, Grissom jumped out and hurried around to open her door. Reaching out, he helped her out of the car. He led her to the door and paused to unlock it. He scooped her up in his arms while she protested. "Let me do this. It's my contribution to tradition."Grissom carried his bride across the threshold.

"If you put me down, I'll go change into something a little more comfortable." After Grissom had lowered her feet to the floor, she said, "Why don't you start a fire? I'll be back in a minute." Without waiting for a reply she turned and headed toward the bedroom.

Wearing a bemused expression, Grissom shed his coat and tie and opened the first few buttons on his shirt. He rolled up his sleeves and began working to get a fire started. When Sara cleared her throat he turned to see her leaning against the wall, wrapped in a blanket, watching him. He took note of the hair piled loosely atop her head and the black lace choker around her slender throat and knew that what was under the blanket would be a true feast for his senses.

"Hey," she said. Pushing off the wall, she walked toward him.Sara stopped mere inches from her husband.

"Hey yourself," Grissom replied. "Comfortable?" He could smell her shampoo and the soap that she used. As always, the scent aroused him.

"Very," Sara nodded. "Do you want to help me spread the blanket?" When Grissom nodded she slowly lowered her arms revealing the lingerie she had bought for this particular occasion. There was nothing remotely virginal about what she was wearing. It was black La Perla. The sheer bra made left little to the imagination. Her pink nipples stood out darkly against the sheer fabric. The thong was almost non-existent. But it was the view from the back that caused Grissom's breath to catch in his throat and his eyes to go glassy with lust. There was a black lace rosette strategically placed at the top. It made Sara's firm ass appear to be gift wrapped.

"My God, Sara," Grissom hissed, "are you trying to kill me?"

She turned innocent eyes to him and asked sweetly, "What?" Grissom shook his head and hurried to get the blanket spread in front of the fire. With that done, he asked, "Would you like some wine?"

"I thought we might open the bottle that Warrick and Tina gave us. I think this occasion is special enough," Sara said. "Go ahead and bring that in. I'll light some candles."

Grissom nodded and then headed to the kitchen to retrieve the wine. When he returned his breath caught at the sight before him. Sara was lying on the blanket, on her stomach with her chin propped in her hands, studying the fire. The firelight caused shadows to play over her body. Moving forward, Grissom set the glasses on the coffee table and poured the wine. He moved over to the blanket and handed a glass to Sara before settling on the blanket next to her. He was reclined back on one arm with his legs stretched in front of him. Grissom raised his glass and said, "Tous and forever. Thank you for waiting on me."

They drank wine and talked of love and the honeymoon they were leaving on the next day. They talked about the ceremony and the fact that neither of them felt any different. They promised to remember how long it took for them to reach this place in their lives and how incredible it felt to know that you were married to the one person in the world that was meant for you. Sara was secretly amazed at Grissom's romantic bent. His eyes twinkled and his smile was easy. His voice caressed her like a lover's hands. Before either realized it the bottle of wine was empty and the fire was low.

"Sara," Grissom whispered, "There is something I've always wanted to do. Will you indulge me?"

"Anything you ask," Sara said in a throaty voice.

Grissom reached out and took her glass from her hands. "Roll over," he growled.

He took a moment to soak in the vision before him. Her eyes appeared black in the light, her face shadowed. His eyes traveled to the strip of black lace against the pale skin of her throat. The sight of it made him hard. The hollow of her throat seemed to invite him to place his lips there. The rise and fall of her breasts captivated him. The smooth plane of her abdomen begged to be touched. The juncture of her thighs made him smile. There were untold pleasures that awaited a man there. The impossibly long legs made him want to feel them wrapped around him. The knowledge that he would be able to know that feeling for the rest of his life caused his heart to race.

"This may be a little cold," he said as he tipped his glass over her belly button. As the cool liquid hit her heated skin her muscles tightened in surprise. Her eyes jerked wide in shock. With the reverence of a man about to partake of holy water, Grissom lowered his head and began to lick and kiss the wine from her skin. Raising his head, he saw that Sara's eyes were hooded and her breathing was a little faster. When her tongue snaked out to wet her lips and his eyes followed its progress. "Too bad I didn't try this sooner. It's much better than in a glass."

"Oh yeah," Sara moaned and then smiled. "I love you."

Grissom leaned forward and placed a lingering kiss on her delicious mouth. "I love you too."

Pushing softly against his chest, Sara sat up and tugged his shirt free of his pants. Slowly, never touching his skin, she opened each button. She rose up on her knees and pushed the shirt from his shoulders. Sitting back on her heels she ran her fingers lightly over his chest and abdomen. She studied his body as he had studied hers a few moments before. The broad shoulders that made her feel fragile and safe at the same time. The strong arms that she loved to feel wrapped around her. His chest, while not defined, was still masculine. She smiled when her fingers found the flat discs of his nipples and felt them contract. His abdomen was still flat, if not firm. And the hiss of indrawn air as she stroked her hand over it brought a warm tingle between her legs. She hooked a finger in the waistband of his pants and tugged until he was kneeling before her. She unbuckled his belt, opened the hook on his pants and drew the zipper down slowly, dragging her fingers over his throbbing flesh as she went. Leaning forward she ran her tongue along his happy trail from the top of his underwear to his bellybutton. She then used her teeth to nip gently at the sensitive skin.

Grissom drew her up and into his kiss. They were pressed together from chest to knee. Their thighs intertwined as his erection pressed against her belly, her breasts crushed against his chest. He fumbled with the clasp on her bra. With a little laugh, she reached around, unhooked it and shrugged it off. When she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close they both groaned at the feel of skin on skin.

Light from the fire played over their bodies. Grissom's hands stroked the long line of her back. Sara wove her hands through his hair letting the strands curl around her fingers. They came together in a slow, sensuous dance. Lips, tongues, hands moved of their own volition. Rough palms moved over soft skin, fueling their desire. He ran his tongue across the choker, finding the juxtaposition of rough lace and smooth skin incredibly erotic. The last scraps of clothing disappeared. There was no rush. Moments like these were meant to be savored. Sara's first climax caught her by surprise. She clung to Grissom's shoulders as she stiffened against his hand, her head fell back and her moans of pleasure filled the air. She opened her eyes to find Grissom watching her with a smile on his face.

"You are so beautiful," Grissom said. "I love seeing you this way." His gaze took in her heavy lidded eyes, the flush on her chest, her hardened nipples. His hand was still moving slowly, keeping her aroused, holding her at the edge.

Sara placed her hands on either side of his face and leaned forward to kiss him. She moved her hands down over his shoulders, across his chest, until she reached his erection. She dragged her lips from his and let them follow the path her hands had taken. Grissom groaned when he felt her lips engulf him.

"Sara," he hissed her name, "stop, please. I'm too close." When she raised her head he continued, "I want to be inside you." Grissom lay down on his back and pulled Sara up until she straddled his hips. When she used her hand to guide him into her heat he held his breath against the desire to explode then and there. The sight of her rising above him was almost enough to send him over the edge. He levered himself up until he could wrap his arms around Sara's waist. Grissom began scattering kisses across her chest. Sara wrapped her legs around his waist. They rocked together. Sara's arms pulled his head to her breasts, where his mouth went to work, while his hands held her hips. She was scattering kisses across the top of his head. Her hands moved down to stroke his back. The friction between them was ratcheting her pleasure up with every move she made. When Grissom felt Sara pushing down against him and moving her hips in tiny circles he increased the pressure of his mouth on her sensitive flesh. And then she was quivering around him. Her muscles were gripping him and dragging his own pleasure out of him and into her. She managed to plant her feet on either side of his hips and used the leverage to slide up and down. Their mindless cries of passion hung in the air. They clung to each. Grissom finally lay back, pulling Sara down to rest on his chest, their bodies still joined in the most primal way. His hand stroked her hair and the small of her back. Her breath tickled his neck as she worked to slow her breathing.

When he could speak, Grissom said, "I always knew you would be better than her."

Sara tried to sit up but he held her fast. "Who is 'her'?" Her voice was dangerously low. How dare he compare the greatest sex of her life to some other woman?

"My girlfriend." Grissom waited a beat before saying, "Yep, you beat old Sara Sidle hands down, any day of the week."


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living. 

Chapter 15

They spent a week in San Francisco with the vastness of the ocean, long walks on the beach and visits to the places they remembered from ten years earlier. They held hands as they walked the familiar streets. They rode cable cars and toured Alcatraz, because they couldn't not do it. Grissom introduced Sara to the opera. They took a couple of hours to visit the crime lab since both Sara and Grissom had friends there. They rented a car and drove along the coast to eat lunch at a little seafood place they both loved. They toured China Town. Best of all they made love morning, noon or night. There was no schedule, no time clock. It was a glorious time where the job didn't matter. Nothing mattered except being together. By the time they headed back to Vegas, and reality, they were relaxed and ready to get back to work.

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The honeymoon was behind them by a month. Grissom and Sara were back at work. They had settled back into the routine reluctantly. They could vaguely remember what it was like to be relaxed, to walk hand in hand with no particular destination in mind. Sara sat at the table in the break room eating lunch. Grissom was out with Nick. Warrick was off and Greg was checking on their DNA results. When her phone rang she checked the display and a smile spread over her face.

"Hey bugman. How's it going?"

"Hey. It's going slow. Just wanted to check on you and Greg. How's your case?" Grissom could hear the smile in her voice and walked away from where Nick was working. "I miss you."

"The case is fine. We're back in the lab." Sara paused and then said, "I miss you too. When will you be back?"

"I hope we can wrap this up by the end of shift. I was hoping to catch a little time with my wife before I have to get some sleep."

Sara was still a little awestruck when he called her his wife. She felt a smile spread across her face. She didn't notice Greg walk into the room. "You think she'll be cooperative? 'Cause, if not, maybe I could work you into my schedule."

"How can a man turn down an offer like that?" Grissom smiled. "I'll see you soon. Love you."

"Love you too." Sara closed the phone and, glancing up, caught sight of Greg. She blushed and ducked her head.

Greg grinned at her discomfort. "You don't have to be embarrassed. You are married after all." When she scowled at him he laughed and ducked behind the door frame.

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Nick had caught sight of his boss out of the corner of his eye and shook his head. The guy had it bad. When Grissom hung up, Nick asked, "How's Sara?"

"Are you almost done here, Nick? I'd like to get this cleared up before I get too much older." Grissom returned Nick's grin with one of his own.

"Anxious to get home for some reason?" Nick asked his amusement evident.

Grissom merely smiled enigmatically and went back to work.

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Grissom pulled his car into the garage next to Sara's and gathered his things. He went through the back door, dropped his briefcase and jacket on the kitchen table, and went in search of Sara. He found her in the living room, curled up under a blanket, watching television.

"Hey honey," Grissom said as he walked over and bent to give her a kiss.

Sara gave a tired smile. "Hey. Did you eat?" When Grissom shook his head she sat up and said, "I'll fix you something."

"No, don't get up. I'll do it." He turned and headed back to the kitchen, calling out, "You can keep me company if you want."

Sara got up and padded over to sit at the breakfast bar. She watched Grissom setting out things for an omelet. She loved to watch him cook. His routine was funny for its routine-ness. He went at it like he did everything else. Single minded in his intensity. Grissom was never half-hearted about anything. A grin lifted the corners of her mouth as she studied him. She felt a warm glow settle over her, melting her from the inside out. _My God, I love him so much. What would I do if I ever lost him? _She shook her head at the strange turn her thoughts had taken. Her eyes continued to roam over his body. _The man has a seriously nice ass._ She tingled at the thought of his hands on her as she watched him chop vegetables. She watched the muscles in his forearms as he whipped eggs. Inexplicably, she was incredibly aroused from watching him cook. She stood and walked over to wrap her arms around him from behind, snuggling into his back while he checked the readiness of the pan. She ran her hands up over his chest and stopped to feel his heart beating. She heard the sizzle of the pan as he began to sauté the mushrooms and onions he had cut up. She was starting to slide her hands in a southerly direction, causing his body to tense in anticipation, when she was assaulted by the smell of cooking onions. Her stomach did a slow flip and she pressed her nose into Grissom's back to block the scent. The odor wafting from the pan became stronger and Sara's discomfort increased until she dropped her hands from Grissom's body and hurried into the other room.

"Sara?" Grissom called. When he didn't get an answer he turned off the burner and went after her. She wasn't in the living room but he noticed the French doors to the deck were open. When he stuck his head out, she was leaning against the railing sucking in air like a drowning man. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just felt a little queasy. Had to get some air." Sara said with a shrug. "I'm not sure where that came from. I think it was something I ate for lunch."

He walked out and, holding her chin, studied her face. Satisfied that she didn't look sick, he kissed her lightly on the lips. "I don't have to make an omelet. I can just eat scrambled eggs."

"Come on, Griss. I'll be fine. But, if you don't mind, I think I'll go to bed." Sara smiled at the concern in his eyes. "Seriously, I'm okay."

"I'll just finish up and I'll be in soon." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and guided her into the house. "Go on in and get some rest."

Sara reached up and placed a kiss on his lips, letting hers linger there for a sweet moment. "Don't be long."

When Sara entered the bedroom she was still feeling a little sick. _What did I eat for lunch?_ As often happened, she ate without really remembering what it was. _Oh yeah, egg salad sandwich. Probably what did it._ She was brushing her teeth when she started to gag. The sudden clenching of her stomach and the feeling in her throat were on her before she could begin to make it to the toilet. She retched into the sink, holding her hair back with one hand and clutching her toothbrush in the other. Thankfully, there was nothing in her. After a minute she carefully finished her teeth, washed her face with cool water and climbed between the sheets.

Grissom finished his omelet and cleaned up the kitchen. Concern for Sara flitted against the back of his mind. _She's not one to get sick. Never has been. Maybe the stress of being back at workis taking its toll. She always pushes herself too hard. If this continues she'llhave tosee a doctor._ He chuckled as he contemplated her response to his insisting that she do something. _Oh well, that's what make up sex was for. _Thoughts of make up sex were fueled by the sight of his beautiful wife sprawled naked across their bed on her stomach. He stood for a time, studying her. _She is spectacular._ Long, lean and absolutely the sexiest woman he had ever met. Not blatantly sexy like some. Hers was a quiet sensuality that he had only expected existed until she unleashed it on him. Sara loved to touch and be touched. She was constantly touching his arm, grabbing his hand, pressing her hand on his knee. And in bed, dear lord, he was still amazed by her. She gave of herself one hundred percent. She held nothing back. He could kick himself for every day of the ten years he wasted. Smiling, he went to take a shower.

Sara woke first. She smiled at the man sleeping peacefully next to her. Her eyes took in the lines that spread out from the corners of his eyes. Years of squinting in the Vegas sun had put them there. The gray in his hair and beard, that she found so sexy, gave him a distinguished look. His face was relaxed, even peaceful. His lips, have mercy, were slightly parted. She wanted to run her tongue over his bottom lip. She settled for a finger. Grissom shifted a little and then settled down again. Sara found tears standing in her eyes as she watched him. They were tears of happiness. She had never thought she would feel this much for anyone. It was one thing to think you loved someone. It was another to share that kind of love with that person. Gently, she eased from the bed. After stopping in the bathroom, she went in search of coffee. While it was brewing she downed a huge glass of ice water._I amcrazy thirsty this morning._ Shrugging, she set her glass in the sink. When she heard Grissom in the living room she set out two cups for their coffee.

"Morning," he said as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Morning," she replied.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yep. I had egg salad for lunch. That was probably the culprit." Sara leaned back against his chest as he nuzzled her neck.

"Most women would have just faked a headache." Grissom's lips had burrowed under her hair to lay soft kisses on the nape of her neck.

"I'm not most women." Sara smiled when his laugh blew warm breath on her neck.

"Come back to bed? The coffee can wait." His hips bumped forward and Sara felt his arousal against her behind.

She pushed back in response and said, "Let me brush my teeth. You don't want to kiss my morning breath."

"Same here," he said.

Grissom took her by the hand and led her back through the bedroom. They stood side by side brushing their teeth and trying to grin around the toothpaste. Suddenly, Sara bent over and retched into the sink. Just like the night before, she really didn't know it was coming until it was too late. And just like the night before, as soon as she vomited she was fine. Grissom on the other hand was not fine.

"I thought you said you felt better." His concern was written all over his face.

"I do feel better. I don't know why I keep doing this." Sara smiled at him and continued. "I don't even feel sick. One second I'm brushing my teeth, the next I'm yakking in the sink. Kind of gross, don't you think?"

"What do you mean 'keep doing this'? How long have you been throwing up?" Grissom demanded.

Sara knew that she had screwed up. As soon as the words had left her mouth she wanted to take them back. "I threw up last night when I was brushing my teeth. It was only the one time."

Fire flared in Grissom's eyes. "I want you to see a doctor."

"Why? I feel fine. I'm sure it was something I ate." Sara gave a half smile and resumed brushing her teeth.

Grissom stood there studying the stubborn woman with a mouth full of toothpaste. His fear that something could be wrong fueled his irritation. "What if it were me?" he snapped. Sara looked at him, her eyebrow quirked. "Wouldn't you want me to see a doctor if I threw up for no apparent reason?"

Slowly, Sara spat into the sink and rinsed her mouth. After wiping her mouth she turned to look at Grissom. "Okay."

"Okay?" Grissom's surprise was evident.

"Yeah. You're right. If I thought you were sick I'd want you to see a doctor." Sara smiled and shrugged.

"Well, okay then." Grissom didn't even know how to respond to a compliant Sara.

Sara laughed at his obvious confusion. "Don't look so surprised. I can admit when I'm wrong." Walking over to lay a hand on his chest, she said, "Since I imagine your ardor has faded, how about a cup of coffee?"

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Work was work. Grissom had handed out assignments and paired himself with Sara. She knew he had done it so he could keep an eye on her and, strangely enough, she was okay with that. The night was fairly uneventful. Around 6:30 Catherine called and asked if they wanted to meet her for breakfast at the diner after she dropped Lindsay off at school. They agreed to meet her there at 7:30. Sara arrived before Grissom to find Catherine already at their usual table.

"Hey," she greeted Catherine as she slid into the booth opposite her.

"Hey. Where's Gil?" Catherine smiled at the younger woman.

"He got caught up in some administrative stuff. You know how his boss is." Smiling, Sara said, "He should be here in about fifteen minutes."

The waitress came over and they placed their order. Sara felt like she was going to starve. Without thinking, she ordered a vegetarian omelet with toast and fruit. The two women chatted while they waited for their food. Catherine noticed that marriage seemed to be agreeing with Sara. She was relaxed and happy. Her skin had a glow that no amount of makeup could imitate.

A couple came in and sat in the booth directly behind Sara. After a minute she wrinkled her nose. "Do you smell that?" she whispered to Catherine across the table.

"Smell what?" Catherine started sniffing trying to catch a whiff of something out of place.

"Cigarettes. Somebody back there reeks." She kept her voice quiet but clamped her hand over her nose to block out the smell.

Catherine watched this odd reaction. Sara worked around worse things than a little cigarette smoke everyday. Catherine couldn't remember ever seeing her bothered by anything other than the worst decomps. Like the investigator she was, Catherine logged this in some little file in her mind. The waitress brought their orders just as Grissom came through the door. As soon as Sara smelled cooked onions her stomach churned. Catherine watched as the color leached from her face.

"Sara, are you okay?" Catherine asked.

Sara stood quickly. "No, I'm not." She headed to the bathroom.

Grissom hurried over and asked, "What happened?"

Catherine saw the fear in his eyes and smiled. "Gil, she's fine."

"She's sick. That's not fine. This is the third time in twenty-four hours she gotten sick for no apparent reason."

"I'll go check on her. Sit down." Catherine got up and went in search of Sara.

Entering the restroom, Catherine found Sara splashing cold water on her face. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah. Sorry about that. I don't know why I keep yakking." Sara's eyes were troubled but her color was almost back to normal.

"Sara, when was your last period?" Catherine tried not to laugh at the look of abject terror on her face.

"I'm not pregnant. I can't be pregnant. I haven't forgotten my patch. Are you kidding me? You are, aren't you?" Sara's words came out in a rush.

"No. I'm serious." Catherine watched Sara carefully.

With her mind working in overdrive, Sara thought about the answer to Catherine's question. Catherine saw realization slowly come over her friend. "The last one I can remember was a couple of weeks before the wedding. Oh shit, Cath. I can't believe this." She leaned against the sink and covered her mouth. "How could this happen?"

"Well…." Catherine smiled when Sara shot her an evil glare. "It happens to the best of us, girl. Maybe you should stop at the drug store on the way home."

"Probably a good idea. Good grief what will Grissom think? We haven't even discussed children." She smiled crookedly and said, "Okay. I can't worry about that until I know for sure."

"Right now I think it would be a relief." When Sara looked puzzled, Catherine continued, "He came in just in time to see you running for the bathroom."

"Oh, no," Sara said. "He already wants me to see a doctor. He's probably freaking out. As much as he ever 'freaks' out," she added at Catherine's amused expression.

"Come on. Let's go eat. You'll probably be fine now that you've gotten it out of your system." Catherine held the door and waited for Sara to precede her.

Grissom was sitting at the table wearing his worried expression. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." When she saw the skepticism in his blue eyes, she said, "I'll make the appointment today." She looked around and said, "Where's my food. I'm starving." She shot Catherine a withering look when the woman burst out laughing.

Grissom glanced back and forth between the two before shrugging. "I asked the waitress to keep it warm. I didn't know how long you'd be."

When they were leaving the diner, Sara told Grissom that she had to stop and pick up some things at the drug store. With a nod and a quick kiss he said he'd see her at home.

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Sara stuck her head into their home office and said hey to her husband. "I'm going to shower. I'll call the doctor when I get done. Okay?" Her voice was a little brittle but Grissom didn't seem to notice.

Grissom had looked up when Sara came in. "Okay. I've got a few more things to finish up. I'll be right here."

Sara took her bag and went into the bathroom. She opened the box and pulled out the directions. Her hands were shaking as she read over them. Sara, ever the scientist, followed the instructions to the letter. She took a shower while waiting for the test to finish. She stepped out and dried off, wrapping the towel around her, before checking the results. When she saw the little plus sign she sank down to sit on the floor with her back pressed against the vanity.

When Sara hadn't returned, Grissom went looking for her. He found her in the bathroom, sitting on the floor, with tears streaming down her face. Rushing over, he knelt down beside her, "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

Sara lifted her tear filled eyes to his and slowly raised her hand. When Grissom realized what she was holding his breath left his body in a rush.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 16

As she sat on the cold tile, Sara was unaware of the tears streaming down her cheeks. She drew her knees up, wrapped her arms around them and rested her forehead there. The thoughts whirling around in her head locked out the physical world. _What is Gil going to say? Think? Do? How could this have happened? I've never even thought about having a baby. Well, that's not really true. I'm not a robot. I have maternal instincts – somewhere. I just didn't expect this. I…we…need more time together. As if eleven years isn't enough. Ha! Should've thought about that before Ms. Grissom. Oh God! How am I going to tell him? He has never given any indication that he wants kids. How can people get married and not talk about children? Would it matter? It's not like we did this on purpose. Great, one day somebody will slip up and tell my son that he was an accident. Son? Where did that come from? Stop it Sara! You've got to go tell him._

Through the roaring in her ears, Sara heard the door open. Grissom was kneeling in front of her. Frantic in his desire to make sure she was okay. She raised her tear filled eyes to his and held up her hand.

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"What…? How…? When…?" Grissom couldn't manage to complete a sentence. This could possibly be a first. Gil Grissom, king of the quote, scientist extraordinaire, couldn't form a rational thought. He sank down to lean against the vanity next to Sara, closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. When he opened them again he was calmer. "Is that what I think it is?"

Sara could only nod as the sobs wracked her body. "Oh, God, Griss I'm so sorry. I never went without my patch. I don't understand how this could have happened."

Grissom wrapped his arms around her. His mind couldn't seem to wrap around the idea of Sara being pregnant. As he rocked her in his arms he asked, "Why are you sorry?"

Sara gulped air and said, "Because we never talked about children. Do you want kids? Hell, do I want kids?" Her hands flailed. Her lips trembled. Her voice shook.

Grissom's heart seemed to contract in his chest. Did Sara not want to have his baby? Hard to believe that not once in the past year and a half had they discussed something as fundamental as children. He had just assumed that she would want a child at some point. The thought terrified him and intrigued him at the same time.

Through her sobs Sara managed to choke out, "Please don't be mad."

Grissom leaned back so that he could look into her upturned face. "I'm not mad honey. Why would I be mad?" He pulled her into his chest and ran his hand over her hair, waiting on her sobs to subside.

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Grissom could feel her tears soaking his shirt. He could feel the hard floor underneath him. He could smell the soap Sara had used in the shower. He could do all that but her couldn't wrap his mind around what she had told him. _How could she believe that I would be mad at her? It's not like she did it alone. Wait, did she say she doesn't want children? I always thought that she would. I'm the one who's too old, too withdrawn. She is vibrant and loving and would be the best mother. I know that I sat there with my mouth moving, like a fish out of water. No words coming out. Just grunts. I need to tell her I am okay with this. Okay? Hell, I'm happy. Wow, I am happy! Sara is going to have my baby! Right now, there is a little bit of me living inside her. After all the death what better affirmation of life? I love her so much. I don't think I could bear her not wanting this child. How…No! Sara would never do something like that. Never. The woman who cries for victims. The woman who cries for her wasted childhood. The woman who loves me…me of all people…would never take a life. Especially not one she created. Okay, Gil, tell her how in awe you are. Let her know._

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When Sara's tears were spent, Grissom began to speak. His words were tentative at first but gathered strength as he allowed his emotions free reign.

"Sara, I…I don't know what to say. Wait. That's not true." Sara pulled back and opened her mouth to say something. Grissom placed his fingers over her lips, silencing her. "Let me finish." He sat for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "I can't tell you that I expected this. Lord knows, I didn't. I know we never talked about having children. I just assumed that you would want to have a baby. Was I wrong?"

"I just assumed that you wouldn't. So, I guess I didn't really think it was an issue." Grissom felt Sara shrug in his embrace.

"Okay. Obviously we should have talked about this." Grissom laid his head back against the vanity and closed his eyes. "I guess it's no longer a matter of want. We are going to have."

Sara raised her head and studied his face. "Are you okay with that Grissom?"

"No. I'm not okay with that." Grissom opened his eyes and saw the pain of betrayal in Sara's eyes. He ran a finger down her cheek, amazed at the softness of her skin. "Okay is not a word I would use."

His eyes were soft. If Sara didn't know better, she would think she saw something close to wonder shining from their blue depths. "What is a word that you would use?" Her voice was barely a whisper. The words trembled on her tongue.

Grissom sat there for what seemed like hours. Finally, he said simply, "Happy. I'm happy."

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Sara was sitting in bed, thumbing through a magazine when Grissom came out of the bathroom. As he slid under the covers he asked, "Did you call the doctor's office?"

"Yep. I have an appointment for next Wednesday at nine." Sara smiled at his relieved look. "Don't worry. I'll go."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"Do you want to?"

Grissom thought for a second before nodding shyly. "Yeah. I think I do."

"Yeah. I think I do too." Sara smiled at him. She leaned in and gave him a very sweet kiss.

When she pulled back Grissom asked, "What made you decide to buy a pregnancy test?"

"Catherine." Sara laughed at his expression. "When she came in the bathroom she asked me when my last period was. I started thinking." She shrugged. "And the rest is history."

"Okay… I'm surprised she hasn't called to find out." Grissom could feel a slight throbbing behind his eyes at the thought of everyone's reaction to this news.

"Should we?" Sara asked.

"Should we what?"

"Call Catherine?" Sara said as if it made perfect sense.

"Why?" Grissom knew this was the beginning of the end. Pretty soon his insular little world would be filled with other people. Babies tended to open the door for things like that.

"Because I'm feeling the urge to tell somebody that'll squeal like a girl." Sara was bouncing up and down like a kid in a candy store. "Come on, I need to tell somebody or I might explode. Imagine how hard that'll be to clean."

"Could I distract you with hot sex?" Sara shook her head. With a smile and a hint of resignation, Grissom said, "Okay." When Sara had dialed Catherine's number he quirked his eyebrow and said, "Put it on speaker phone. I sort of want to hear her squeal too."


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 17

Sara sat quietly, listening to Grissom's voice. She was leaned back a little and her hands were rubbing slowly over her distended abdomen. A smile split her face. He reached out and placed his hand over hers. When she heard Nick's chuckle she laughed a little herself. Would Griss never tire of telling this story?

"I had been working late. It was the Reynolds' case. You remember. Um, well, anyway she didn't realize I was going to be that late and decided to take a bath. When I got home, she was sitting in the tub and the water was cold. She was _really_ mad." Grissom shook his head at the memory. "I was afraid to laugh when I hauled her out of the water."

"I'm surprised the water wasn't boiling. I know how mad Sara can get." Nick's drawl couldn't hide the laughter in his voice.

"She _was_ kind of like a wet cat." The two men burst into laughter. When Nick started making hissing noises and clawing motions they laughed even harder.

"Grissom." Sara tried to hide her own amusement when she warningly said, "I will make you pay for this."

When her body tensed, she sucked in a breath. "Breathe honey." Grissom soothed as she rode out the contraction. "Try to relax."

"Easy for you to say," Sara retorted when the pain had subsided. She smiled at her husband and softened her voice. "I'm okay. Just uncomfortable."

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"I wish you had seen the look on his face when the tech asked him if he wanted to come back too." Sara told Tina.

Warrick laughed and said, "I can imagine. Griss was probably freaked out. The thought of all those emotional women and what was happening behind those doors." He threw his head back and let out a throaty chuckle. "Man, I wish I had been there."

"What happened then?" Tina asked.

Sara smiled at the memory. "He was very interested in the whole process. You know how he can be." Sara paused and her eyes misted over. "But when he saw peanut on the screen," Sara's voice broke and she shrugged while fanning her eyes, "He cried."

"Ooooo. That is so sweet." Tina turned to face her husband whose mouth was hanging open in shock. "Are you okay Warrick?"

He didn't notice the door opening when he said, "Grissom cried?" His voice was incredulous, shock written all over his face.

"What? You don't cry?" Grissom asked, color riding high on his cheeks, as he came in carrying a bag full of Mexican take out.

"Hey bugman. I was telling them about the first ultrasound." Sara smiled at the man who came bearing food. "That smells so good. What's in the bag?"

Grissom walked over and dropped a kiss on Sara's lips. "It's nice to be back. Glad you missed me." With a smile he pulled the tray over and started setting out food. "Hey Warrick. Tina, nice to see you."

"Hey Griss. We just stopped by to keep you guys company for a while." Warrick winked at Sara. "Mama's been entertaining us."

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"Knock, knock," Brass said as he stuck his head around the door. "I have somebody here you might want to see."

He pushed open the door and motioned his companion forward. Olivia smiled at Brass when she walked past him. She rushed over to give Sara a hug. "How are you dear?"

"I'm fine. They gave me an epidural about fifteen minutes ago and I'm not feeling a whole lot." Sara grinned. "It's Gil you should be worried about."

Grissom was standing beside Sara. His face was a little pale and he eyes bloodshot. "Gil, love, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I didn't do as well with the epidural as Sara did." Grissom looked a little sheepish. He turned to Brass and said, "Not a word from you, Jim."

Brass held up his hands and assured, "I don't have anything to say. Nothing at all."

Grissom looked at his mother and said, "I don't like to see Sara hurt."

"I remember when you were born. They wouldn't let anyone in the room. Now I know why." Olivia laughed at her son's obvious embarrassment.

In an effort to deflect the attention being focused on him, Grissom said, "Hey mom, did I ever tell you about how we picked a name?" When she shook her head he continued. "We were going for the second ultrasound and were talking about finding out the baby's sex."

Sara interrupted, saying, "Grissom said we needed to talk about names. Then he started spouting the most horrendous names I have ever heard."

"They were not horrendous!" Grissom laughed, "Okay, maybe some of them were. But not all of them."

Sara choked back a giggle and said, "Astrid? Angus?"

"Both good, strong names. Names with meaning." Grissom laughed and said, "At least they aren't the name of a state or a car. Besides, what about the names you suggested?"

"What?" Sara asked. "What's wrong with Willow and Wilbur? Wilbur is even a form of Gilbert."

Olivia was laughing. Brass had taken a seat and was observing the play between the three Grissoms. He smiled as he thought about how far Gil had come in the past couple of years. Shaking his head he laughed out loud at the name Wilbur.

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Catherine rushed through the door. "Sorry, I was trying to get here before the fun started. Lindsay wanted to come back but I left her in the waiting room."

"She doesn't need to be out there by herself. Go get her." Sara was tired and the contractions were very close together. She tried to put on a smile for her friend but it came out as more of a grimace.

"Oh, don't worry. She's with the rest of the gang." Catherine dropped her purse and jacket on a chair and walked over to stand next to the bed.

Grissom looked a little puzzled, "What gang?"

"Nick, Warrick, Tina, Greg. You know – the gang." Catherine looked at Sara, "How you doing girl?"

"Everyone is still here? Why?" Grissom asked.

Catherine smiled at his confusion. "Waiting for peanut to make his appearance."

"I've been better. I'm at nine. The nurse should be back any minute to check me again." Sara tensed when she felt the vague pressure of the latest contraction. "I'll be glad when this is over."

"I remember when Lindsay was born. My water wouldn't break. The doctor finally helped me out with that. Not the most fun I've ever had." Catherine actually smiled at the memory.

"Do I really want to hear any more?" Sara looked a little apprehensive. "It's too late to cut and run."

"No. Sara, it is the best thing I've ever suffered through. I'd do it all again if Lindsay would be the result." Catherine laid her hand over Sara's. "I'll go before the nurse gets back. I'll be outside with everyone else."

"Wait." Sara grasped Catherine's hand when she turned to walk away. "Will you…uh, will you stay with me? With us?"

Neither of them could decide who was more shocked. Sara couldn't believe she had asked Catherine to stay. Catherine couldn't believe Sara had asked her to stay.

"I would be honored." Catherine gave Sara a watery smile and squeezed her hand.

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The bassinet was ready. The stirrups were up and holding Sara's feet. The doctor was getting her mask and gloves on.

Her eyes were smiling when she said, "Are you ready to have a baby Sara?"

Sara nodded and said, "I really need to push. Really."

"Okay, let me take one last look and we'll be ready." When Dr. Crane was satisfied that everything was in order she raised her eyes to meet the patient's. "I'm ready whenever you are. When you feel the next contraction I want you to take a deep breath, hold it and push." When Sara nodded, Dr. Crane asked Grissom, "Ready Dad?"

Thirty minutes later, at 4:02 in the afternoon on Wednesday, March 8, 2008, Jonathan Aaron Grissom was born.

When he lay against his mother's breast and let out his first angry cry his mother wept. She wept from sheer happiness. The love she felt for that tiny person warmed her in a way nothing ever had. She had been afraid at times that she wouldn't love their son the way a mother should. All fear was erased. She loved him – unconditionally and without reservation.

When he lay against his mother's breast and let out his first angry cry Catherine wept. Having a baby didn't prepare you for watching the process. The miracle she had just witnessed left her awestruck.

When he lay against his mother's breast and let out his first angry cry his father wept. His love for Sara was suddenly eclipsed by his love for this tiny creature. Even though he understood the biology of birth he hadn't understood the emotion of it all. His heart swelled in his chest until he thought it would burst.

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Grissom and Sara's friends stood outside the nursery window. Baby Grissom was front and center. He didn't know he was the luckiest baby in the world. He didn't know that he had more than a mom and dad. He didn't know that he had been born with four uncles, two aunts and a cousin. If it truly takes a village to raise a child then Jonathan Grissom had nothing to worry about.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 18

The tinny sound of an angry baby coming through the speaker on her desk startled Sara. She had been going over the brochures for day care facilities. Her leave was for three months but she knew a decision had to be made soon. Pushing the chair back, she stood and went upstairs to check on Jonathan.

"Hey boo," she cooed to her angry son. "Whatza matter? Huh? Are you hungry?" Sara kept up her silly questions while she changed his diaper and rearranged his clothes. Lifting the crying baby, she said, "Okay, okay, mama's got you. Let's get you a bottle."

Sara made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen. With Jonathan snug in the crook of her arm she opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle. Popping it in the microwave she made shushing noises while she waited. After checking the bottle for temperature, Sara laid the nipple against the baby's lips and smiled when he quit fussing and began to suckle.

Sitting down on the couch, Sara studied the baby in her arms. He was three weeks old today. His sparse hair was dark and curly. His eyes were blue but that could always change. His face was round and bore no marked resemblance to either her or Gil. She drew a finger over his delicate eyebrows and stroked his cheek. His skin was so soft that for a second she was jealous. When she felt the tears pricking the backs of her eyes Sara sniffled and laughed at her hormonal state. Jonathan finished his fifth meal of the day – every three hours since midnight – and pursed his milky lips in what his mother liked to think of as a smile. Sara cleaned his face, raised him to her shoulder and began rubbing his back. After a minute he let out a soft burp and snuggled into her.

When Grissom found them, Sara was stretched out on the couch with Jonathan resting on her chest. Both of them were sleeping peacefully. Even though people joked about her not needing sleep it was far from the truth. During the first week she had learned to sleep when there was quiet time. He stood in the doorway and took in the sight before him. The late afternoon sun coming through the blinds cast streaks of light and shadow in the air. The television was tuned to Discovery but had been muted. The remote lay on the floor next to the couch. The empty bottle was on the coffee table. Sara had one arm thrown over her eyes and her other hand lay possessively on the baby's back. Her lips were parted and she huffed out gentle breaths. Just like the first time he laid eyes on his son, Grissom's heart seemed to swell. Gentle warmth spread through his chest and a smile split his face. After another minute, he quietly headed to the kitchen to make coffee.

Grissom was pouring his first cup when he heard Jonathan begin to cry. Heading into the living room, he carefully lifted the squirming baby off Sara's chest just as her eyes fluttered open. "I'll take him. You don't have to get up unless you want coffee."

When Grissom came downstairs with a clean, dry baby, Sara had heated a bottle and was sipping her own cup of coffee. He placed a kiss on her cheek and sat down at the table to give Jonathan his dinner. Sara sat quietly, watching the two men in her life.

Grissom looked up and caught her gaze. With a smile he said, "Why don't you take a shower? I think I can keep an eye on him."

"Okay. I'll be out soon." With a smile she went in search of hot water and clean clothes. When she returned Grissom was cooking dinner. Jonathan was strapped into the bouncy seat and sitting in the middle of the table. Amazingly enough, the baby was asleep again.

"What smells so good?" she asked. She wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and snuggled into his back.

"I have pan-seared Tilapia with a lemon butter sauce. It should be done in just a few minutes. There's a salad and some rolls. And, for fun, I'm steaming some broccoli." Grissom twisted around until he could pull Sara to his chest. "I love you."

Sara smiled. "I love you too." She stood for a moment inhaling the scent that was purely Grissom. He smelled like soap and sweat and sleep. She raised her head and, using her hands on his neck, pulled him into a kiss. When she would have deepened it he pulled back. Sara was a little puzzled at his obvious reluctance. _What's up with that? _"Griss, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." Grissom said, unable to meet her gaze. "I haven't brushed my teeth and that's never a good thing."

Sara dropped her arms and began taking plates from the cabinet beside the refrigerator. As she went through the motions of setting the table her mind kept going back to Grissom pulling away from her kiss. _He's been kind of distant physically since Jonathanwas born. Granted, I don't want to have sex. It might be years before I have enough energy for that. Would a kiss be too much to ask though? _

As they ate dinner they talked about work. Sara, the workaholic, was missing the job. She enjoyed hearing about the case Grissom was working and he enjoyed watching her mind work. When they had finished eating Grissom went to shower while Sara cleaned the kitchen. When Grissom came out, he found her in the living room holding Jonathan in the crook of her arm whispering to him and smiling. Jonathan, to his credit, seemed to be hanging on her every word. Sensing Grissom's presence, Sara looked up and smiled. The brilliance nearly took his breath away.

"Come here bugman. Jonathan has a secret to tell you." Sara held out her hand and pulled Grissom down beside her.

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Jonathan was two months old. Time was flying by. In a matter of weeks it would be time for Sara to return to work. But that was merely a blip on the horizon. Right now, she was more concerned with her marriage. As she strode into the diner, with baby and paraphernalia in tow, she looked around for Catherine. Never in a million years did Sara think she would seek out Catherine's help on this matter. However, when she thought about it she had realized it was only logical.

"Hey," Sara said as she waited for the waitress to invert the high chair. "How's it going?" She set Jonathan's carrier on the chair and made sure it was secure.

"I'm good. How're you?" Catherine studied Sara with a practiced eye. Something was bothering the younger woman. "You look good." She truly did. Pregnancy had rounded her. She wasn't as angular and hard. Her breasts were fuller, her hips a little heavier. "Now, give me that baby."

"Thanks. I feel great." Sara grinned as she lifted Jonathan from his seat and passed him to Catherine. She slid into the booth and smiled at her friend. "How's work?"

Catherine nuzzled the wide eyed infant and gave her a five minute run down on the gossip and the politics. When she could take no more waiting, Catherine asked, "What's up? You didn't call me so I could tell you about the people you talk to all the time. Why are we here?"

"Ever the one to lay it all on the table, aren't you?" Sara smiled. "But you're right. I didn't call just to hear about the guys. I need your help."

Catherine felt a little queasy. There could be only one thing Sara would ask her for help about. Grissom. _My God, what has that man done now? _She waited for Sara to speak.

"I need to know if Grissom is having an affair." Sara couldn't meet Catherine's eyes.

"What? Why?" Catherine spluttered. The idea of Grissom cheating on Sara was so bizarre, so far out of the realm of possibility, that Catherine couldn't wrap her mind around it. Suddenly, understanding dawned and she let out a long Oh.

Sara finally met Catherine's amused gaze. "I'm glad you find this funny. I am terrified that he is…well, you know and you're laughing at me."

"Honey, Gil isn't cheating on you. You should know he is more honorable than that. Not to mention head over heels for you." Catherine reached across the table and covered Sara's hand with one of hers. "Gil has mommy syndrome."

"What?" Sara squeaked. "What is mommy syndrome?"

"I'm sure there is a much more scientific name for it but basically he sees you as the mother of his child and he has lost sight of the 'lover' he had before." Catherine laughed a little and said, "I never had to worry about that with Eddie. He never had enough respect for me to be worried about it."

The look on Sara's face was skeptical. "Are you sure? I mean, uh, we never, uh, had any…" Her voice trailed off and she blushed.

"That was before he saw you give birth. Some men get squicked out at the thought. Know what I mean?" Catherine laughed at Sara's expression. "It's okay. This is fixable."

"How? I can't even get him to kiss me like I'm a girl." Sara's voice was a hiss.

"I have a plan." Catherine said with a smile.

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"Catherine's coming to pick up Jonathan this afternoon," Sara told Grissom on a Saturday morning. Grissom had just come in from work and they were sitting at the table drinking coffee and talking about his day.

"Are you sure we need to do this?" he asked.

"We've already discussed this. She is babysitting because I want to go out to dinner with my husband," Sara said with a smile.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea. What if something goes wrong? What if he gets sick? What if…" Grissom's voice trailed off as Sara covered his lips with her fingertips.

"She has our cell numbers, beeper numbers, and every number known to man. We will be no more than fifteen minutes away. She managed to not kill Lindsay. Relax." Sara smiled at his panic.

"Are you sure? We could take him with us." Grissom couldn't keep the nerves out of his voice. The thought of leaving Jonathan with anyone, even Catherine, worried him on a very deep level.

"Griss, I am with him twenty-four hours a day. Not that I don't love every minute but I need to spend some adult time with you." Sara's eyes pleaded with him. "Besides, Cath would kill us both if we backed out now."

Grissom nodded reluctantly. "Okay. I know it'll be fine. It's just that leaving him worries me."

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While Grissom slept, Sara gathered together everything she thought Jonathan might need for a night at Catherine's. It was amazing at the amount of stuff needed to care for one very small person. She packed diapers and wipes, extra clothes, soap and lotion, powder and blankets. She got his musical bee and the Pak'n'Play. She fixed bottles. By four o'clock she was as ready as she could get. She had just changed Jonathan and was feeding him when the doorbell rang.

"Hey Cath. Lindsay come on in." Sara turned, leaving Catherine to close the door behind them. "I'll be done here in a minute. Have a seat."

"Hey Sara," Lindsay said, sidling over to take a peak at Jonathan. "Can I finish feeding him?"

"Um…sure." Sara hesitated just a second before turning the baby over to the girl. "Have you got him?" Lindsay nodded and went to settle on the couch.

Sara said, "Would either of you like something to drink? I have some water and some juice. Or I could make coffee." Lindsay shook her head but Catherine asked for coffee. Sara went to make coffee and decided to wake Grissom so he could see Jonathan before Catherine took him. Coming back into the living room she said, "It'll be ready in a minute. Gil should be out soon. I wanted to make sure he got to say 'bye."

The women were chatting over coffee and Lindsay was burping the baby when Grissom came in. "Hey Cath. Hey Lindsay, how's it going?" He walked over and sat down beside Lindsay.

"Hey Uncle Gil," Lindsay said with a smile. "I'm so glad you decided to let Jonathan come to our house. I couldn't wait to come pick him up."

Grissom smiled at the girl's excitement. "I hope you're this excited afterwards. Dirty diapers tend to take the fun out of it."

"That's what mom is for," Lindsay replied with a sly look in her eyes.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 19

Sara smiled as she studied her reflection in the mirror. Catherine had been right. The red halter showed off her shoulders and arms. The plunging neckline accented the swell of her breasts. The jeans, that had been loose a year ago, were still a little tight but actually made her ass look good. Tousled hair, sexy eyes and a pouty mouth completed the picture. Looking at her, nobody would know she had a two month old baby. Satisfied with her appearance she picked up her purse and jacket and went to find Grissom.

Grissom sat out on the deck with a beer, soaking up the late afternoon sun. For some reason he was nervous. He knew that, logically, there was no reason for the butterflies in his stomach. That didn't change the fact that they were there. He took a long pull on the bottle in his hand and closed his eyes. When he heard the door open he turned to see Sara. Suddenly, his mouth was dry and his palms damp. He ran his eyes from top to bottom and back in slow appreciation.

"Hey," she said quietly.

"Hey. You look fantastic." Grissom's voice was a little hoarse.

"Thanks. Are you about ready to go?"

"Yeah," Grissom replied standing and walking toward her.

Sara felt a slow smile spread over her face at the sight of the man before her. He had on black. Black always made his shoulders seem even broader than they really were. The pull over shirt was just snug enough to show off his chest. The sleeves were tight around his biceps and left his forearms bare to her gaze. His jeans were faded and very form fitting. They clung to his muscular thighs and made it obvious, without being obscene, that he was all man. She knew the view from the back would be just as good. The beer bottle dangled carelessly from his hand.

"Wow," she breathed. "You're gorgeous."

Grissom blushed. "Thank you. You are too kind." He leaned down and brushed a kiss over her cheek. "Let's go." He placed a hand on the small of her back and ushered her back into the house.

They kept up a steady stream of conversation during the drive. It was amazing to them that once they had figured out what to do about 'this' neither of them ran short of things to say. When they reached New York New York, Grissom helped Sara from the car and gave the keys to the valet. They strolled through the lobby on the way to Il Fornaio. Grissom kept his hand on her back as they were shown to a table. Sara chose to sit next to Grissom. Over a bottle of wine and a delicious dinner they talked and laughed and flirted. Sara took every opportunity to touch her husband. She laid her hand on his arm. She rubbed his leg. She put her head on his shoulder. She used her napkin to wipe a drop of sauce from the corner of his mouth. In a word, she bewitched him. When the plates had been cleared and the last of the wine consumed, Grissom paid for their meal and stood to help Sara from the booth.

Exiting the restaurant he asked, "Are you ready to go pick up Jonathan?"

"I thought we might go to the amusement park. Why don't we call and see how he's doing?" Sara fought a grin as his eyes lit up at the hint of a rollercoaster. "Let's find somewhere a little quieter."

They found an alcove with a couch that was out of the main flow of traffic. They sat down and Grissom called Catherine.

"Hey, Cath, how's it going?" Grissom tried to sound relaxed.

"Gil, he's fine. He's asleep right now. Fed, bathed, lotioned, diapered and asleep. Don't be such a worry wart. Finish your date with your wife," Catherine snipped. "Frankly, I'm a little hurt that you don't think I can handle this."

"It's not that and you know it. Just jittery about leaving him." Grissom sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay. I get the picture. We'll call you when we're on the way." He paused for a second before saying quietly, "Oh and Catherine, thanks."

He stood and held out his hand for Sara. "Let's go ride a rollercoaster."

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They drove over to Circus Circus and again Grissom turned the car over to the valet. He escorted Sara inside. When their tickets had been purchased they headed straight for the Canyon Blaster. Sara was eyeing it with not a little apprehension.

"Come on Sara, it'll be fun," Grissom grabbed her hand and tugged her along behind him. "There is something so exhilarating about it."

Sara tugged back, spinning Grissom around to face her. "I think you relish the loss of control. I think that the slow climb up that hill is like foreplay and the rush through the rest of the ride is the climax." She was leaning against his chest, her lips tickling his ear. "Am I right?"

Grissom couldn't deny the tightening of his body in response to her blatant teasing. He brought his lips close to her ear and said, "You might be. Let's go find out." He used both hands to turn her and usher her through the crowd.

When they were standing in line to get on the ride Sara pressed her back against Grissom's chest. She slid her hands back to rub lightly over the outsides of his thighs. She felt him jump at the unexpected contact and smiled. Catherine was right. That's why Sara had gone to her for advice.

Grissom had a bird's eye view of Sara's shoulders and cleavage. She was leaning back against his chest and he was starting to feel the effects of her body pressed against his. He hadn't felt that familiar curl of desire in his belly since Jonathan was born. He could smell her shampoo and the lotion she smoothed over her body after her shower. He was aware of the new found curves Sara had been hiding under the baggy sweats and loose shirts. When he saw a couple of thirty-something men running their eyes over her form he wrapped his arms around her waist and glared at them over her shoulder until they turned away.

The line shuffled forward slowly. Sara kept in constant contact with Grissom. She held his hand, stroked his forearm, laid a hand on his chest and leaned into his body. She kept her voice low so that he would have to lean in to hear her. She smiled and pushed her hair behind her ear. Grissom kept his eyes on her. He watched her lips form words and thought about how they felt on his body. He watched her hands as they touched him and thought about other places he longed to see and feel them. He felt her breath caress his cheek and knew that he couldn't get them out of this amusement park fast enough.

"Honey, are you trying to drive me crazy?" Grissom asked on a moan.

"No. What are you talking about?" Sara looked up at Grissom and her eyes went wide and innocent.

Without warning, Grissom bent his head and captured her lips in a kiss that sizzled. Pulling back he took in the heat that flared in her eyes. "Don't play with fire."

"What if I want to get burned?" Sara gave him a secret little smile and turned to close the distance to the people in front of them.

Grissom shook his head and followed her. Finally, they were strapped into their seats and Grissom was smiling at her. When the cars started up the hill Sara began a quiet litany in her throaty voice. "Almost there, Griss. Almost there. Just a little more…" As the first car nosed over the apex, Sara looked at Grissom and said, "That's it. Oh yeah." And then they were shooting toward the ground, pressed back against the seats, and Sara was screaming. Up and around and upside down. Wind flying past their faces and adrenalin flooding their veins. The ride stopped and Sara looked over at Grissom with eyes of liquid heat and said, "That was fantastic."

Grissom swallowed audibly and said, "Let's go home." Without waiting for an answer he levered himself out of the low car and reached back to help Sara. Never letting go of her hand he walked quickly through the throngs of people. The lobby was relatively empty and the going was much easier. They hurried to the valet entrance, Sara giggling harder with every step.

Grissom handed his stub to the valet and pulled Sara to his side. He ran his hand absently up and down her arm while they waited for the car. As soon as it pulled up he opened the door and settled her inside. He pressed money into the young man's palm and slid behind the wheel.

"Call Catherine and tell her we're on the way." Grissom reached over and captured Sara's hand to bring to his lips.

"I told her we wouldn't be there until midnight. We have a couple of hours. I hoped we might need a little extra time." Sara smiled at the narrowing of Grissom's eyes.

"Well in that case, I have something to show you." Grissom never took his eyes from the road but could feel Sara's glare.

Grissom drove away from the strip and into the desert. Slowing, he began looking for a turn off. When he found it, he took a road that began to wind up into the hills surrounding the city. After about half an hour he brought the car to a stop on a narrow dirt path that dropped off into nothing twenty feet in front of the car. Spread out before them were the lights of Las Vegas. From here it was a blinking, twinkling fairy city without crime or greed or dirt.

"It's beautiful. How'd you find this?" Sara turned to stuffy Grissom's profile.

"Sometimes I just needed to breathe. I could breathe up here." He gave a slight shrug and turned to find her eyes with his. "I can put the top down if you want." Even though it was almost June, the mountain air could still be very cool at night.

"Do you have a blanket in here?" Sara asked. At Grissom's nod she said, "Then let's put the top down. I'm sure that between us and the blanket we'll be warm enough."

A slow smile spread over Grissom's face. "Why, Mrs. Grissom, how do you intend to stay warm?"

"Let that top down and I'll tell you." Sara reached into the glove compartment and popped the trunk. "I'll get the blanket."

When the top was down, Sara opened the door and climbed into the back seat. "Are you going to join me?" She managed to suppress a laugh at the look on Grissom's face. "Come on. It's all part of my master plan."

After a second's hesitation, he opened his door, got out and then clambered in beside her. When he was settled, Sara straddled his legs and draped the blanket across her back and around to cover Grissom's shoulders.

"How's that for a plan?" She whispered in his ear. When he shivered at the feel of her warm breath she teased, "Are you still cold? Cause I have another plan."

"Oh really? What's involved in the new plan?" Grissom's hands had begun running up and down her back. He stopped and cupped her ass in his hands as his mouth skimmed over her jaw.

Sara wriggled against him. "Well, first we have to take off some of these clothes." Sara ran her tongue against the outside of his ear and nipped gently at the lobe. "Then we press our bodies together and use the blanket to hold in our body heat." She found the sensitive spot just behind his ear and sucked gently. "Then we engage in some aerobic activity." She ran her tongue up the side of his neck, following the muscle from his shoulder to just behind his ear.

"Aerobic activity, huh?" Grissom's lips were tickling the curve of her shoulder. "Well, I can't argue with that." He lifted his head and pulled her mouth down to his. He met her half way with parted lips and seeking tongue. His hunger for her only intensified. "God, Sara I want you."

Her only response was a groan. She held his face between her hands and nipped and sucked at his bottom lip. Pulling back for a moment, she whispered, "You have the sexiest lips. I love the way they feel on me."

"Are you sure you don't want to finish this at home?" Grissom asked between short, sharp kisses, thinking of all the fun they would be missing in the car.

"No. I want to do this right here, right now. Home doesn't seem to be working too well for us these days." Sara's breath was coming in ragged gasps. "Don't talk right now. Just go with it."

She began tugging at his shirt and let out a moan of satisfaction as it slid over his head. She let out an appreciative groan as she ran her hands over his smooth skin. _Why would anybody want a hairy chest when they could have all this skin?_ She felt Grissom's hands sliding under her shirt and sat up to help him. When the cool air hit her heated flesh she shivered. Then he was pulling the blanket up around her shoulders and pressing his chest against hers. Heat started to pool between her thighs and she moaned.

Grissom was rapidly losing control. It had been more than two months since he had made love to Sara. His body suddenly reminded him of every second. He was hard. Harder than he ever remembered being. His skin was hot and tight. He wanted to hurry. He wanted it to last forever. Dipping his head he slid his tongue over a stiff nipple and felt her back arch. He dimly registered her fingers in his hair. He could feel the pressure of her body on his erection and pushed up with his hips. His fingers fumbled at the buckle on her belt and again at the button on her jeans. She slid off his lap and began to wriggle out of the tight denim. Grissom's eyes turned navy at the sight of Sara, naked and flushed, in the moonlight.

Reverently, he whispered, "You are exquisite. I have never seen a more beautiful sight."

Tears shimmered in her eyes and she fought them back. "Shhhh, just love me."

She rose up on her knees and helped Grissom work out of his jeans. The thick material had done little to disguise his excitement. When his clothes were finally around his ankles she returned to her place on his thighs. Her hands roamed over his biceps and shoulders. She kissed him with wild abandon. His hardness was pressed between them. Unconsciously, Sara had begun pushing against it in an ageless rhythm.

"Sara, honey, if you don't stop we'll never get to the main event." Grissom placed his hands on her hips and held her still. "It's too good. So good." His words vibrated against her throat as he nuzzled the sweet skin there. He was glad that he had found some relief in the shower or no amount of baseball stats would help.

"Gil, please." Sara panted. "I'm ready, now." At his slight nod, Sara reached down and guided him between her legs. As she started to slide down she winced and stopped.

"What? Does it hurt? Are you okay?" Grissom's voice was worried, his hands trying to lift her hips off him.

"Just give me a second. A little more sore than I thought." Sara held still and willed herself to relax.

"We can stop. I don't want to hurt you."

"Griss, if we stop now, it'll be me hurting you." Sara smiled at him and said, "I just have to take it slow."

She began to lower herself onto Grissom's erection, pausing every few seconds to let her body adjust. She didn't stop until she could feel the coarse hair at his groin against the backs of her thighs. With a sigh she sat, trying to catch her breath. Slowly she began to rock. Every movement of her hips created a delightful friction on her most sensitive spot. Her head was thrown back and her eyes closed. Her hands were braced on Grissom's shoulders. Sara felt him reach up and grasp her wrists. When he guided her hands to her breasts her eyes flew open.

"I want to watch." His husky voice sent a delicious tingle straight to her core. "Touch yourself."

Sara was hesitant at first. But then her eyes drifted shut and she lost all inhibitions. Grissom's hands stroked over her ribs and stomach. He caressed her thighs, his thumbs stroking close to her aching center. The closer he got the faster she moved. The faster she moved the more sure her hands were on her body. Grissomleaned back against the seat taking in the woman before him. She rose up from his thighs all pale skin and gentle curves. The column of her throat was arched back and her lips were parted. Her hands on her breasts rubbing and pinching strained his self-control. The place were her body met his was the only dark patch against her creamy skin. Without warning, he ran his hands up her slender thighs until his thumbs met in that shadowed place. The cry was wrenched from her lips just as theclimax was wrenched from her body. She began to roll her hips against him and Grissom couldn't hold back any more. With a muffled cry he emptied himself into her.

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Pulling into the driveway at Catherine's house, Grissom cut the engine and walked with Sara to the front door. It eased open before they could ring the bell. One look at the couple and Catherine knew that her plan had worked. When Grissom went out to put the car seat in the car, she raised her eyebrow at Sara in a silent question.

"In the mountains, in the car, with the top down, overlooking the city." The smile on Sara's face would take days to fade. "Thanks."

"Hey, what're friends for?" Catherine smiled.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 20

Love is a complex emotion. Itis all the happiness, sadness, hopes and fears in life, mixed them together andfrosted with trustto create the most delicious, awful, wonderful, painful feeling in the world. Love is more than physical attraction. It is more than friendship. It is the pinnacle of delight and the depths of despair. Gil Grissom had loved three women in his life. The first was his mother. The last was his wife. It was the one in between that had shattered his world and almost cost him everything he now held dear.

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Sara, Grissom and Jonathan had made the long drive to Marina del Rey to visit Olivia during the Thanksgiving holiday. Sara and Olivia decided to spend Saturday morning shopping and then meet Grissom for lunch. That is howhe found himself sitting at a patio table, with a hungry baby, watching the sun sparkle on the water. He was holding Jonathan's bottle and sipping a beer when he heard someone call his name. Turning his head he saw the one person he had hoped never to lay eyes on again.

"Gil, is that you?" Elizabeth Weaver was standing just inside the entrance to the patio. Her auburn hair was sleek and shiny. Her eyes were the same incredible green that seemed to capture the light and throw it back a thousand times stronger. Her delicate features didn't show even one of the years that had passed. Her clothes and jewelry were just understated enough to scream money.

Grissom felt his heart beat accelerate. His mouth was dry and he couldn't think of a word to say. Finally, he managed what he hoped would pass for a smile and said in a cool voice, "Elizabeth." In the time it had taken for him to speak that single word she was standing by the table.

"How long has it been? You look fantastic. The beard is very nice." Elizabeth, never at a loss for words, continued to chatter away. Grissom's silence didn't seem to faze her. "And who is this with you? Wow, a grandson? When did you get to be a grandfather?"

Her rambling was cut short by a clipped response, "He's not."

Elizabeth turned and saw a very tall, very lovely brunette with her hands in the back pockets of a pair of low slung jeans. Her black t-shirt clung to her breasts and there was a strip of smooth, ivory skin showing between her top and jeans. Running her eyes appraisingly over the young woman, Elizabeth said to Grissom, "Still dating your students, I see." Turning she snipped, "And you would be?" Condescension dripped from every syllable.

"Sara," she said, taking note of the way her eyes gravitated back to Grissom. Not normally a petty person, Sara noticed Grissom's discomfort and her protectiveness kicked into high gear. "Sara Sidle-Grissom. And you are?"

The stranger's eyes widened before she snapped her control back in place. "Elizabeth Weaver," she said her eyes and voice cool. "Aren't you a little...um...young?"

"Well, I'm definitely younger than you." Sara couldn't hide her satisfaction when the other woman's eyes narrowed. She walked around to take a sleeping Jonathan from Grissom's arms and lay him in his stroller, tucking a blanket around him. Turning back to her husband, Sara placed a hand on his chest and a soft, lingering kiss on his lips. "Hey, bugman, did you and Jonathan have a good morning?" She took the seat beside her husband and rested her hand on his thigh.

"Yeah," he smiled over at her, "we did. Where's mom?"

Before Sara could explain that Olivia was in the restroom, Elizabeth cooed, "Your mother is here? Oh my, I haven't seen her in ages."

Sara's eyes moved between Grissom and Elizabeth and suddenly she knew. This was the woman that had broken his heart. She needed no more motivation to hate her. With a passion born of years of pain and frustration Sara despised the woman standing beside the table. The fact that she was looking at Grissom like a cat with a bowl of cream didn't help matters.

Ignoring Elizabeth, Sara said, "She's in the restroom. She'll be here in a minute."

Grissom nodded and said, "Elizabeth, it was good to see you. I'm glad you stopped to say hello. Tell Walt Isaid hello."

"Walt and I are divorced." This tidbit of information was accompanied by a sly smile. "He found someone he liked better."

"I'm sorry. I know how that feels." The words slipped out before Grissom could stop them.

Olivia chose that moment to join them. Sara noticed the way her eyes widened before narrowing into an expression Sara had seen many times on the face of her son. She eased past Elizabeth and took the seat on the other side of Grissom. Catchinghis eye, she began to sign.

"_What is she doing here?" _Olivia's fingers flew and her expression was one of disgust.

"_She just showed up."_ Grissom shrugged before continuing, _"It is a public place after all."_

"_Does Sara know?"_ Olivia's glanced over at her daughter-in-law and saw her trying to follow the conversation.

"_No. But I think she's figured it out." _Grissom gave a wry grin. _"She's already marked her territory. Don't worry."_

Olivia turned her gaze to Elizabeth and spoke haltingly, "How have you been?"

Elizabeth bent down and hugged the older woman. "I've been fine. It's so good to see you again. I can't believe how long it's been."

"What? Twenty years? Seems like yesterday." Olivia was not about to let Elizabeth think she had forgotten the reasons for the time that had passed. "Or maybe some things just stand out in the mind."

Elizabeth had the good grace to look ashamed, if only for a second. Then she turned to Grissom and purred, "There are several things that stand out in my mind."

Grissom felt Sara stiffen beside him and knew there was about to be an all out cat fight. He had seen Sara's temper often enough to know that he didn't want to see it now. Placing a restraining hand on her arm Grissom said, "Elizabeth, we are in a little bit of a hurry."

"Yeah, well, I'm glad I ran into you. If you're going to be in town I would love to get together and catch up." Elizabeth turned her smile on Grissom after giving Sara a smug look.

"Sorry, but we're leaving tomorrow." Grissom's stare was carefully blank. "Maybe another time."

With a shrug, she spun on her heel and left the restaurant.

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Jonathan was tucked in. Olivia had called it a night. Grissom and Sara sat on the deck, with a beer, sharing a quiet moment. Neither of them had commented on Elizabeth Weaver; Grissom because it was his way and Sara because she was trying to figure out how to bring it up. It was as ifthe woman were standing on the deck between them casting a pall over their attempt at normalcy. She was the proverbial elephant in the room.

With a sigh, Grissom said quietly, "Just get it over with, Sara."

The resignation in his voice ignited her anger. "Get what over with Grissom? You seem to feel that I am the one who has done something wrong. What did you expect me to do? Just let you dangle there while she jerked your chain?"

"Sara," Grissom began.

"No, Gil! I am not an idiot. Please don't treat me like one." Sara stood up and stalked over to the rail. Resting her forearms there she took a deep breath before speaking. "It took me about two seconds to realize who she was. Not that I've ever heard anything about her. I just knew she was the person at least partly responsible for the pain I suffered for all those years. I don't care about her. I don't really care about the history. I wasn't mad because she was hitting on you – even after she knew who I was. I was mad because she hurt you, because she broke your heart and you, in turn, broke mine."

Sara took a long pull off her beer and turned around to face the man sitting just a few feet from her. He was the epitome of dejection. "I take it that you loved her and she cheated. And, you know what? That's all I need to know. I guess what bothers me is your inability to share those things with me. You know about my failures. You know because I've told you. Do you not trust me?"

Grissom pinched the bridge of his nose and took a calming breath. "Sara, I…um…I don't know how to tell you. I've kept it bottled up for so long that it's not easy to let it out."

"Try. That's all I'm asking. Just try."

"Come sit down. Let me hold your hand." Grissom held his out waiting on her. When she was settled in the chair beside him, he began, "I was in grad school. She was a junior and I was her TA. She was always there. Asking questions, needing extra help, flirting. It started out innocently enough. Just a cup of coffee or a soda in the dining hall. I was way too busy to date." Grissom paused and shook his head at his naiveté

"And then one day she asked me to dinner. Just like that. 'Hey Gil, do you want to have dinner with me?' I said yes." Grissom kept his eyes closed so that he wouldn't see the recognition dawn on Sara's face. "We were pretty much inseparable after that. Oh God, how I loved that girl." His voice broke and he paused. He felt a gentle squeeze on his hand. "I guess I figured we would get married. You know when she finished school and things settled down. I never had a firm plan. It just seemed to be the natural progression of things."

"I'm not sure what happened. Everything was fine – or so I thought. One day, I left the morgue early, needed to get some work done on my dissertation, and there she was. She was on a sidewalk with her arms and lips wrapped around this guy. He had his hands in places that should have belonged to me alone. She said that I was more in love with my work than with her. He gave her something she needed. Turns out, his name was Walt Weaver. She married him about six months later."

After a long pause, Grissom continued, "She was the joy in my life. Before her I worked and studied and worked some more. When I saw her with Walt something inside me broke. I didn't even know what it was but it took me almost twenty years to make it right. Imagine how I felt when you showed up. It was like reliving that time in grad school. I kept waiting for you to find someone else. I thought if I kept you at arms length then I would never feel that pain again."

Grissom looked over to see tears sliding silently down Sara's face. Turning he used his free hand to wipe them away. "Honey, please don't cry. I'm sorry for every time I hurt you."

"Griss, I'm not crying for me. I'm crying for you." Sara brought their joined hands to her lips and placed a kiss on the back of his. "I'm sorry. Sorry for the boy that had his heart broken. Sorry that there was no one there to help you put it back together. You do realize that I'm not her, don't you?"

At Grissom's nod, Sara continued, "Good."

Grissom tugged Sara to her feet. "Come over here, I need to hold you for a little while." He pulled her down onto his lap and cradled her against his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "I love you so much, Sara. I never thought to see the day I'd be grateful for her betrayal. But if not for that I wouldn't have you and you are, by far, the best woman for me. The only woman for me."

The problem with love is that it makes you vulnerable. As they sat there, snuggled together under the stars, Grissom felt the last of his reserve being stripped away. He could finally admit that he had not given Sara his whole heart. He had held back to avoid being hurt again. She deserved more. Any woman that could cry for his pain was worthy of nothing less than all of him. He made a silent promise to try, just try, everyday to love her the way she deserved.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: I'm really struggling with this. I hope you guys don't think it is as bad as I think it is. Thanks to everyone who's reading.

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 21

Life with a child is a thread of firsts woven through the fabric of everyday life. Grissom and Sara treasured every one of the firsts Jonathan brought to them. His first cry, first bath, first smile, the first time he slept through the night were all recorded on the pages of their memories, to be taken out and examined whenever they needed to recapture the innocence that was their son. When he stood on his own the first time Sara talked of nothing else for a week.

Jonathan was a chubby baby with curly brown hair and huge hazel eyes. He had dimples on his knees and elbows and an adorable dent in his chin. He was crawling everywhere, pulling up on the couches and tables. There wasn't a remote or phone in the house that hadn't been baptized with slobber.

The perpetrator was currently crawling on top of his father who was spread-eagle on the floor. Sara was laughing at Jonathan's dominance over the big man. He tugged at Grissom's beard, pulled his nose and ears and pulled at the watch encircling Grissom's wrist. Her heart melted when Grissom lifted Jonathan up and blew raspberries on his soft belly bringing on a spate of baby giggles.

Sliding down to join them, Sara scooped Jonathan off Grissom's chest and tossed him in the air. She turned him around and placed his feet on the floor. His tiny fists were wrapped around her fingers and he bounced up and down in excitement. Grissom twisted around until he was sitting up.

He held out his hands and said, "Come on Jonathan. Come to daddy."

With Sara's help, Jonathan took one wide swinging step toward Grissom and then another. Suddenly he released his grip on Sara's fingers. He stood there with his arms raised and his eyes wide with surprise. Then, as if realizing what he was doing, he sat down. While Sara and Grissom stared, wide-eyed, Jonathan giggled and clapped his hands.

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Jonathan took his first step while his mother was reading a forensic journal. Jonathan was standing in the middle of the room with his favorite stuffed bug in his hands. When Grissom walked through the door from the kitchen and called his name, he turned his head and, eyes bright, took a couple of halting steps in that direction.

"Sara," Grissom said, "did you see that?"

She lifted her eyes and asked, "See what?"

"He walked." Grissom hurried to scoop the boy up and kiss his cheek. "He took two steps."

"What?" Sara's expression was woebegone. She had been ten feet away and missed Jonathan's first steps. "I can't believe I missed it. I've been waiting and waiting. Put him down. See if he'll do it again."

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For Jonathan's first birthday Nick, Warrick, Greg, Catherine, Lindsay and Brass gathered at the Grissom's house for a cookout. There were a couple of people from day shift and a couple from Jonathan's day care that Sara had invited. The only ones missing were Olivia and Tina. The former couldn't make the trip. No explanation was offered for the latter.

As Sara came out the back door with a bowl of potato salad she paused for a moment to take in the strange group. Her eyes fell on Nick and Warrick. The two were camped out in lawn chairs under the only tree big enough to provide shade, each holding a sweating bottle of beer. Warrick was laughing at something Nick had said and the throaty sound caught Greg's attention. She watched him amble, as much as Greg could amble, in the direction of his friends with Lindsay trailing behind. With a smile, she let her focus drift to Grissom and Brass. They were manning the grill, cooking burgers, hot dogs and veggie kabobs. Brass said something, probably something snarky, which caused Grissom to smirk before he picked up his own beer for a drink.

"Sara," Catherine said. "Everything okay?" She was bouncing Jonathan on her hip and chatting with Susan from days.

Sara smiled, nodded and continued down the steps to place the bowl on the table and pick up the camera she had left there. Determined to take pictures of this day she began a slow circuit of all the guests. She checked on Jocelyn and the two mothers from daycare, Vivian and Nicole. They each had a baby bouncing on their laps while they watched their three year olds run in small circles. Wandering over she monitored the progress at the grill. She made her way out to talk to the guys for a few minutes. Hearing Jonathan begin to fuss she went back to make sure Catherine had everything under control.

When the food had been consumed and presents opened it was time for cake. Sara brought out the small cake for Jonathan. It was chocolate and decorated with caterpillars. The big #1 candle was lit and, after a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday, Grissom helped to blow it out. Sara snapped a picture of their identical expressions of delight.

After Jonathan had been put to bed, Sara and Grissom were curled up on the couch relishing the quiet. Snuggled against her husband, Sara said, "It was a really good day, huh?"

"Yeah, it was. I think everyone had a good time." Grissom grinned.

"Lindsay has a crush on Greg." Sara felt Grissom gasp and she chuckled.

"Lindsay isn't old enough to have a crush on Greg. She's just a kid."

"She's fourteen, Gil. She's not a kid." Sara paused for a second. "Don't worry he knows. He's very good with her."

"Please don't tell me I'm going to have to kill Sanders. I'm just starting to like him."

Sara giggled at Grissom's protectiveness. "No. He doesn't encourage her. He's too afraid of Catherine." Sara let her mind wander for a minute. What would it be like to see Grissom with a daughter? She could see him with a dark haired, blue eyed, gap toothed little girl clinging to his neck.

Her reverie was broken when Grissom asked, "What are we going to do with all that stuff?"

Sara chuckled, "I know. When will he ever play with it all? He has too much now. You realize he is spoiled and it really isn't our fault."

"Catherine makes sure of it. And Brass is almost as bad." Grissom shook his head and grew quiet.

Sara twisted her head around to look at him. "What is it Griss? What are you thinking about?"

Grissom looked uncomfortable for a second before saying, "You know how to keep Jonathan from becoming too spoiled?"

Sara said, "You can't tell them not to do it. It would break their hearts."

"Sara, that's not what I was thinking."

"Then what?" Sara's brow furrowed in confusion.

Grissom quietly said, "We could have another baby."

Sara sat up and yelped. "What did you say?" Her eyes were wide and her mouth gaped open.

"Never mind." Grissom stood and walked over to look out the door into the night.

After a minute, Sara moved to stand beside him. "Why did you say never mind?"

"Didn't seem like such a good idea considering your reaction. It was just a thought. Don't worry about it." Grissom never turned his gaze from the darkness outside.

Laying her hand on his arm, Sara said, "Look at me. Please." When he turned his head, she continued, "I don't know what to say. I just didn't expect that to come out of your mouth. I would love to see you with a little girl." Sara squeezed his hand. "I can't imagine anything more wonderful than having another child – with you."

"Sara," Grissom said quietly, "I don't want to push you on this. I just looked around today and realized that Jonathan isn't going to be a baby for much longer. I enjoy having a baby in the house." He broke off with a shrug.

"Oh, Griss, you are a constant surprise." Sara reached up and cupped his cheek in her palm. "Jonathan is the best thing I've ever done. Why wouldn't I jump at a chance to do it again?"

Bending his head Grissom kissed his wife. The pressure of his lips on hers was soft and sweet. Pulling back he said, "I love you."

"And I love you."

When Grissom nuzzled her neck and whispered, "Let's start right now," Sara laughed and pulled him in for another kiss.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 22

Sara thought that planning to have a baby would be as easy as not planning to have one. After all, one night of incredibly hot sex and her birth control patch gave up the ghost. Once she and Grissom had decided to have another baby Sara was determined to get started immediately. So when things didn't follow her time line, she had turned their bathroom into a lab. There were thermometers and charts and things Grissom was afraid of. This was no longer about making love, no longer about sex; this was about conception, pure and simple. But you know what they say about the best laid plans. After more than six months of disappointment, emotions were running high for both her and Grissom.

Jonathan was down for the night and Grissom was still asleep. He had worked a double and was trying to get in a few hours sleep before he had to go back to work. Sara had been feeling a little feverish all day. Not sick really, just warm from the inside out. She knew she should be ovulating. When she checked her temperature and consulted the chart she realized that now was a prime conception time. Without a second's hesitation she hurried to strip off her clothes and slide into bed with her husband.

Grissom had only been asleep for about four hours and his brain and body were beyond tired. Doubles didn't happen very often anymore. He had people to go home to. After more the twenty-five years, the dead no longer took precedence over the living. As often happened when he was past the point of exhaustion, his dreams were strange and non-sensical.

_Grissom was sitting in his office when he saw Greg skateboarding down the hall. The boy was wearing a dress and singing show tunes. He could see Hodges in the break room with a bunch of makeup and hair people fussing around him. He kept saying something about looking good for the camera crew. Even Judy had gone crazy. She was dressed in black leather and was chasing Archie up and down the halls screaming about him being a bad boy. There was a dead body in the morgue and Doc Robbins was playing air guitar while Bobby from ballistics did the autopsy. He started out the door to restore order when her realized Terri Miller and Lady Heather were keeping him locked in. He could only watch through the glass as Nick and Warrick went around the lab taking bets on how long before the 'old guy loses it'. Suddenly, Sara appeared in his office. She was naked and sprawled on top of his desk. _

"_Grissom, oh, Grissom," she crooned, "it's time."_

"_Time for what?" He tried to feign confusion but she was having none of that._

"_You know. Time to make a baby." Sara gave him her sexiest look and crooked her finger, motioning him nearer. "You know that it was all your idea. Come over here and give me your sperm."_

"_Sara, honey, do you see what's going on out there? I can't do this now." Grissom looked around to see that everyone had stopped their frenzied fun and were gathered around the glass walls looking in._

"_It's okay, Gil. They know we do it. Besides I have something to prove to the ice queens." She raised a slender arm and gestured toward the door. When he didn't move she stood and walked over to him. Somehow her hand was on him and she was squeezing and rubbing and he felt himself begin to respond._

"_Mmmm, that's it baby. You know what I like. Is that all for me?" Sara was talking but over that he could hear their audience laughing._

_Then over the laughter he heard Heather, "Look, Terri. I was right. She does lead him around by his Johnson."_

Grissom came awake slowly. The dream clung to him like a wet blanket. Vaguely he realized that Sara was curled up behind him and her hand really was massaging him. Groaning, he kept his eyes closed. He found himself hoping, for just one second, that she would go away.

"Griss, are you awake?" Her voice wasn't much louder than a whisper. "Grissom?"

"I'm awake," he mumbled. His voice was rough with sleep and he fought the urge to keep his eyes closed. He rolled over to face his wife and snuggled into her body. "Can't I just sleep another couple of hours? I'm so tired, honey."

"Griss, the chart says that this is an optimal time. I just need you for five minutes. Then you can go back to sleep. Come on baby, just five minutes." Sara pleaded with him; all the while her hands were sliding over his flesh.

With a sigh, Grissom nodded. "Okay. Let me brush me teeth though." With that he rolled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom.

Returning to the bed, Grissom shed his boxers and climbed between the sheets. Pulling Sara into his arms he placed a quick kiss on her lips. "Okay, the clock starts now," he teased and laughed when she playfully punched his arm.

For a few minutes the only sound in the room was the soft, wet slide of lips on lips. As if by rote, their hands sought out the places sure to arouse. There was a somewhat mechanical precision to their movements. When Sara realized that Grissom wasn't as excited as he needed to be she pulled back a little and asked, "Is everything okay?"

Grissom nodded. "Everything is fine. Just give me a second."

Sara placed hot kisses on his chest, zigzagging from side to side. She worked her way lower until she could take him in her mouth. Grissom groaned and tangled his fingers in her hair. "Sara, oh that's good." Still his body didn't respond to the stimulus. Finally, in frustration, Grissom tugged her up to rest on his chest. "Please stop."

"But," Sara started. Not knowing how to continue she just looked at him helplessly.

"I need to take a shower and get ready for work." Grissom sat up on the edge of the bed and dropped his head into his hands, rubbing furiously at his eyes.

"Griss, why don't you lay back down? I shouldn't have…you know. I knew you were too tired. I'm sorry." Sara moved to sit next to him, rubbing a hand up and down his back.

"Why are you apologizing? It wasn't you that couldn't rise to the occasion." The anger snapped in his voice. He stood and walked into the bathroom, closing the door.

Sara was sitting on the edge of the bed, fully clothed, when he emerged. One look at his face and she knew that he was hurting. As he stood at the dresser, looking for a pair of socks she walked up and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her face between his shoulders. She felt him stiffen at her touch but hung on. "Gil, you know it could happen to anybody, right?"

Stepping away from her Grissom said, "But it didn't happen to anybody, Sara. It happened to me. I couldn't perform. Not Nick or Greg or…or…Hank. Me! I couldn't get it up!"

Sara recoiled at the mention of Hank. "Hank! What does Hank have to do with this? That has been over for…oh hell…forever!"

"Well, you know, if you hadn't married an old man you wouldn't be having this conversation." Grissom sat on the bed and pulled his socks on. Standing he began shoving his wallet and change into his pockets. He walked into the closet to find his shoes.

"You're right. If I weren't married to an 'old man', as you put it, I wouldn't be trying to have a baby. I wouldn't be married at all." Sara's voice was tight with anger. Her body literally vibrated with rage.

"Maybe you'd be better off." Grissom emerged from the closet. "I'm going to work. I'll see you in the morning." He stormed out, leaving a shocked Sara to sink down on the bed in a boneless heap.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 23

Grissom stormed through the lab, his eyebrows drawn together in scowl so intimidating that mere mortals scrambled to avoid his wrath. He went into his office and slammed the door, taking petty satisfaction in the rattling glass. He dropped into his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. He could feel the headache starting behind his right eye. He winced when he heard the door open.

Without looking up he snapped at the unfortunate soul who had invaded his space. "What!"

"Everything okay?" Jim asked. Eyeing his friend with equal parts curiosity and amusement, Jim took a seat.

"Does it look like everything is okay?" Grissom bit out. "No, everything is not okay."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Nope. Nothing to talk about."

"Okay. Well, if you change your mind I'll be wandering the halls warning everyone away." Jim stood and walked to the door. Pausing, he said, "If this is about work, fine. If this is personal then you need to leave it out of the lab."

"Did Sara call you?" Grissom asked his voice dangerously low.

"She didn't have to." With that he left the office, pulling the door closed behind him.

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Grissom could hear laughter coming from the break room. The sound made his already strained nerves stretch to the point of snapping. He cleared the doorway and slapped the paperwork he had been carrying down on the table. "Gentlemen, we have a fairly busy night. I need everyone to get their minds on the job."

Ignoring the looks that passed between Nick, Warrick and Greg he continued. "Greg, you're with Nick. There's a body at the Bellagio. Warrick, I need you on trick roll at the Four Aces. Judd, you're with me. There's a body with bugs out past Henderson." Handing out the assignment slips he started out the door. "Warrick," he called back, "when you're done you can join us."

Judd, the new guy hired when Sara moved to days, was the first to speak. "What's wrong with the big guy?"

When Warrick and Nick shrugged, Greg mumbled, "It's gonna be a long night."

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Sara's emotions vacillated between anger and hurt. She knew that she had pushed Grissom when she shouldn't have. She knew that her desire to give him the baby they both wanted was making her crazy. She couldn't imagine how women rode this particular emotional rollercoaster for years. A handful of months were turning her into a basket case. Her mind was running a thousand miles a minute as she lay on the bed where she had practicallybegged Grissom to have sex.

_How pathetic can you get, Sara? 'Just five minutes'? What the hell was that? But Hank? Why would he bring up Hank? Why are men so freakishly insecure? Do all men feel that who they are is determined by their ability to achieve an erection? Honestly, I'm the one who can't conceive and do I get pissed off and scream about that psycho dominatrix. No. I try to forget she exists. Wonder who's running her freak show while she's in jail? Aw shit, who cares? _

She dragged herself off the bed and made her way upstairs. Standing over Jonathan's crib she felt the tears welling again. Swiping roughly at her cheeks she drew a shaky breath and steeled herself against anymore self pity. Brushing Jonathan's curls off his forehead she straightened his blanket and made her way back downstairs. Wearily, she undressed and slipped between the sheets only to be surrounded by the scent of Grissom. After trying, unsuccessfully, to read the latest journal article on blood spatter she gave up and began wandering through the house. This wasn't their first argument. It wasn't even the worst. It was just the first time in almost four years that Grissom had left without kissing her good-bye and it hurt more than she wanted to admit.

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It was just after five a.m. when Grissom headed back to the lab. Hours of bending, squatting, tagging and bagging had not improved his surly disposition. The fact that the case brought back memories of Kay Shelton, and by association Sara, didn't help matters. He was looking forward to seeing Jonathan before heading home to get some sleep. He still wasn't ready to face Sara.

Grissom was in the layout room with evidence spread all around him when he heard them coming. Well, actually, he heard Jonathan and the smile that split his face was the first in almost twelve hours.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Jonathan's shrieks of delight could be heard all over the lab.

Grissom removed his gloves and stepped into the hallway to see a two foot whirlwind wriggle from his mother's grasp and run in his direction. Scooping the little boy up into his arms, he said, "Hey, little man. How's it going?"

Placing his tiny hands on either side of Grissom's face, Jonathan said, "Ub ooo daddy."

"I love you too, little man." Grissom hugged the wriggling toddler to his chest. Catching sight of Sara he said, "Hey."

"Hey," she said her voice cold. "Are you at a stopping point? If not, I'll take him to the break room."

"I need about ten minutes but you can stay if you want." Grissom said quietly, taking in the dark circles under her eyes, before turning and walking off.

Sara followed. "You don't have anything in here he shouldn't see do you?"

"Please give me a little credit. All I have in here is a blanket."

"Sorry." Sara said quickly. She knew that Grissom wouldn't expose Jonathan to anything he didn't need to see. "Here, I'll take him so you can finish." Sara lifted Jonathan from Grissom's arms and stood back.

Grissom worked quickly, the silence broken only by Jonathan's chatter. He folded the blanket and placed it carefully in the paper bag that it had been transported in. Folding the top over, he sealed, dated and initialed the bag. He methodically collected the trace that had fallen onto the table; placing it in bindles and carefully labeling it.

Sara broke the silence. "I'm going to be late for assignments. Why don't I take him to the break room and you can come get him when you're done?"

Grissom nodded. "I'll be there in just a few minutes." Looking up, he said, "Sara…"

"Not now Griss. I've got to get to work." Sara looked at Jonathan and said, "Tell Daddy bye-bye." Turning on her heel she walked out the door.

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Grissom waited in the hall outside the break room until first shift had received their assignments. When Sara emerged he motioned her to the side. "I'm ready to go. Is Jonathan's bag in my car?" he asked.

"Yeah. I put it on the passenger's seat." Sara placed a kiss on Jonathan's cheek before handing him over to Grissom. "I'm going to run by the grocery store on the way home. Anything you want me to pick up?"

"Nothing I can think of. You know what I like." Grissom worked Jonathan's fingers free of his beard.

"Okay then. If I'm going to be later than five I'll call you." Sara gave Grissom a tight smile and gave Jonathan's cheek another peck. "See you later, sweetheart." With that she turned and left Grissom staring after her as she strode down the hall.

"Gil, my friend," Brass called as he walked up. "Jonathan, come see Uncle Jimmy." Brass held out his hands and Jonathan reached for him.

"Jim, I'm…uh…I'm sorry about earlier." Grissom tore his eyes away from the empty space where Sara had been.

"Hey. No apology necessary. At least not to me." Brass studied his friend's face and said, "Screwed it up that bad, huh?"

"She's still speaking to me – barely," Grissom replied.

"Want to grab some food. Tell Uncle Jimmy all about it."

After a moment, Grissom heaved a sigh and said, "Yeah. Why not?"

It was the first time, in a very long time, Brass had been surprised. "Okay. Meet me at the diner in fifteen?"

"Sure," Grissom said, reaching for his son. "I need to pack up my briefcase. I'll take Jonathan to daycare after we're done."

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One vegetarian omelet and two cups of decaf later, Grissom found himself relating his tale to Jim. "Sara and I are trying to have another baby."

"That's great! Who would have thought that you guys would have one much less try for a second?" Jim's enthusiasm waned when he saw Grissom wince. "I guess this is what the argument was about."

"In a round about way." Grissom took a sip of coffee and wished desperately that there was something stronger in the cup. "It's not going as well as Sara had hoped.

Brass nodded and said, "I guess that means you've been having a lot of fun." He smirked at the other man's discomfort. "It's okay. I do know where babies come from."

"I sort of had that figured out." Grissom's hand shot out and caught Jonathan's sippy-cup before it could hit the floor. "Don't throw your cup Jonathan." Placing it just out of the toddler's reach he dug through the bag and pulled out wipes. While cleaning pancake and syrup from Jonathan's hands and face he continued, "What do you know about fertility?"

"Honestly? Only what you see on the movie of the week."

"Well, just let me say, when sex becomes a science experiment it can cease to be fun. You should see our bathroom counter." Grissom was shaking his head when the waitress came over and offered more coffee. When she left, Grissom said, "I worked a double yesterday and didn't get to sleep until after four. About eight, I woke up with Sara's hand…uh...well you get the picture."

When Brass nodded, Grissom spilled out the rest of the tale. As soon as the name Hank left his mouth Brass interrupted. "Why, in the name of all that's holy, would you bring that up?"

"I don't know. I just opened my mouth and it came out." Grissom lifted a fussy Jonathan out of the high chair and settled him on his lap. Giving him a spoon to play with, he said, "That's not all. I told her she would be better off not married and then I left."

"Oh man, you really did it. You incurred the wrath of Sara and everybody knows not to do that." Brass smiled and said, "So what were you mad about? Being woken up and forced to have sex with your incredible wife? Hearing her apologize for disturbing your sleep for her little 'science experiment'? I'm not sure I see the problem."

"No. I wasn't mad about any of that."

"Oh…I get it. Dammit, Gil, you're not twenty, or even thirty, anymore. But under those conditions it could happen to anyone."

"Has it ever happened to you?"

Brass sat for a moment before answering. "I want you to know I wouldn't admit this to just anyone. But, since we're playing true confession, yeah it has. After I found out the ex-wife was pregnant and we had decided to 'work it out'. I just couldn't. I thought I was over it but I wasn't." Brass shrugged and looked a little embarrassed. "So obviously age has nothing to do with it. That was over twenty years ago."

"What did you do? How did you…?" Grissom's voice trailed off.

"Gil, I would suggest you go home, get some sleep and before you head to work tonight grovel. Then, if she chooses to forgive you, make love to your wife. There's nothing for you to worry about."

"Thanks, Jim." Grissom appeared equal parts relieved and embarrassed.

"No problem, my friend, no problem." Brass stood and lifted Jonathan out of Grissom's arms. "But, for my sage advice, you can buy my breakfast. Come on, Jonathan, let's wait outside for your dad."


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 24

After dropping Jonathan off at daycare, Grissom made a couple of stops before reaching home. Once there he made one phone call, took a shower and crawled into bed. He fell into an exhausted sleep and awoke when the alarm went off at four o'clock. He splashed water on his face and ran his wet hands through his hair. After brushing his teeth, he dressed quickly.

Sara turned into the drive way and was surprised to see Catherine's car parked there. She had picked up Jonathan, the dry cleaning and groceries. She was tired and irritable and not in the mood for company. With a sigh, she hit the button to open the garage. With the car parked she lifted Jonathan from his car seat and carried him through the door and into the kitchen.

Grissom appeared from the living room. "Let me help you," he said as he headed out to begin unloading the car.

Sara strode through the kitchen in search of Catherine. As soon as he saw the other woman, Jonathan held out his chubby arms in a silent plea. Catherine walked over and took him from Sara. "Hey sweetie. What're you doing? I missed you so much." Turning to Sara she said, "How're you mom? Look like you haven't had much sleep lately."

"Thanks." Sara smiled. Catherine was, well, Catherine. She could be blunt but her intentions were usually good. "I'm okay. Would you mind hanging on to him while I get some stuff out of the car?"

Catherine nodded and Sara headed back out to help Grissom. When she passed him in the garage, she said, "Why is Catherine here?"

"She's taking Lindsay to the mall and wants to take Jonathan for a few hours. She said she'd bring him back by 8:30, if that's okay with you."

Sara frowned. She wasn't thrilled at the prospect of being alone in the house with Grissom but a little quiet time was always welcome. "Okay," she reluctantly agreed. "If you'll put up the groceries I'll get his bag repacked." Without waiting for a response she scooped up the dry cleaning and carried it inside.

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When Catherine had left with Jonathan, Grissom suggested that Sara take a shower while he got dinner ready. When she emerged from the bedroom, dressed in her favorite pajamas, the first thing she saw was a huge bouquet of gerbera daisies on the coffee table. Favorite flowers, or not, their cheerfulness only served to re-ignite her anger. Growling her displeasure, she continued through to the kitchen.

Grissom was chopping vegetables for fajitas when Sara stormed into the kitchen. "Where did the flowers come from?" she snapped. "Do you think that is going to make everything okay?"

Slowly, Grissom placed the knife on the counter and turned around. "I bought them on the way home and no."

"Well, at least you got one thing right." Sara stood, arms akimbo, glaring at the man in front of her.

"Good. I figured it would take me at least a week of groveling to get something right. I must be getting better at this whole thing." Grissom turned and resumed his dinner preparations. After a minute of silence in which he could feel Sara's eyes on his back, Grissom slapped the knife down on the counter and turned around. "Okay. I can't take this. I was wrong and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought up Hank."

"No Grissom, I was wrong. You were out of line," Sara shot back. She had been spoiling for a fight since he walked out the night before.

"You're right. I shouldn't have said what I did. If I could go back and do it again the word would never pass my lips." Grissom's hands were planted on his hips and his blue eyes blazed. "Is that what you want to hear?"

"No!" Sara shouted.

"Then what!" Grissom raised his voice to match hers.

Sara felt the fight drain out of her. Suddenly she was just tired. "I…shit…I don't know. Nothing, Griss, I don't want to hear anything." Closing her eyes she drew in a deep breath. "We were both wrong. It's just that I want so badly to give you a baby. I feel like such a failure."

When Grissom cupped her cheek she opened her eyes. "Oh honey, you're not a failure. But I know how you feel. I mean, well, I've never…"

"You can say it you know? It's not anything to be ashamed of." Sara placed her hand over Grissom's and nuzzled her cheek into his palm.

"I know you're right. Besides, Jim told me I was being an idiot," Grissom said softly.

Sara's eyes widened in surprise, "You talked to Brass?"

"Yeah. Why?" Grissom's eyes showed his confusion.

"You wouldn't have done that before. You would have withdrawn from me and bottled it up until you exploded." Sara smiled and said, "It's a good thing."

"Maybe I got two things right. It could be a record." Grissom smiled and slipped his arms around her. "Am I forgiven?"

"Only if you forgive me," Sara replied, sliding her arms around his neck and grinning up at him.

Grissom nodded and bent his head to place a light kiss on her lips. The kiss lingered and then deepened. He broke off long enough to say, "Does this mean we get to have make up sex?"

With a gleam in her eye, Sara said, "Only if you're up–"

Grissom cut her off with a quick, "Don't even think it," before lowering his lips to hers again.

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Lying curled up against her husband's side, his fingers trailing gently up and down her arm, Sara made a decision. "I'm going to trash the stuff in the bathroom."

Grissom stiffened, his hand going still, before asking, "Why? Have you…"

"I haven't changed my mind. I just realized that I'm behaving like a crazy woman. Do you know how many times I replayed that 'just five minutes' in my head last night?" Sara laughed before saying, "How pathetic was that?"

"Wouldn't have been pathetic if it worked." Grissom smiled against her hair.

"Ah, you can make jokes now that you've proven your virility." Sara yelped when Grissom swatted her on the behind. "Okay, I'll stop with the manhood jokes." After a second she said, "I want to have another baby but I'm not going to obsess about it. The charts and thermometers are officially history. No more checking my temperature every day. I shouldn't have done that to you last night. I was out of control."

"Yeah, you were," Grissom teased and laughed when she punched his arm. Sobering, he asked, "How are we going to know when the time is right?"

"I guess we'll just have to keep doing what worked last time and hope for the best. If it's meant to be it'll happen."

"Very Zen of you Mrs. Grissom. I'm impressed."


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 25

"Hey, Griss. You got a minute?" Warrick called as Grissom passed the break room with Jonathan on his hip.

Pulling up short, Grissom backtracked and looked through the door. "I was just taking Jonathan to day care. What did you need?"

"I needed to talk to you. It's kind of personal."

Only then did Grissom notice the dark circles under his eyes and the lines bracketing his mouth. "Sure. Um…let me…um…let me drop Jonathan off and I'll meet you somewhere."

"Okay. How about the McDonald's on Fourth? I don't want to run in to anybody."

"Sure. I'll be there." Grissom stopped for a second to study the other man's face before nodding and walking off.

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When Grissom arrived at the restaurant it was to find Warrick sitting in a booth with a cup of coffee in front of him. After getting coffee for himself, Grissom slid into the seat on the other side of the table. "You don't look so good. Are you sure you need more caffeine?" Grissom remarked.

"Probably not. I can't sleep anyway but I'm sure it's not helping." Warrick sighed and took a sip from his cup.

Never one to interfere in the personal lives of his team, Grissom waited patiently for Warrick to tell him what was going on.

"You're not going to make this easy for me are you?" Warrick asked. When Grissom shrugged he spat out, "Tina left me."

Grissom's lips formed a silent 'o'. After a moment he asked, "When?"

"A week ago."

"Did you need some time off? Because you have plenty of vacation."

"Nah. What would I do with time off? Sit at home and stare at the walls?"

"O-kay. Then what can I…uh…do to help?"

Amusement flickered in Warrick's eyes at Grissom's discomfort. "I'm not sure. I just…it's…how do you do it?"

"Do what?" Grissom asked.

"How do you work nights and Sara work days and you guys keep it together?"

Grissom rubbed an index finger over his lips as he contemplated an answer to the question. "You know, Warrick, I spent a lot of years running from what I wanted. But when I 'pulled my head out of my ass' and made those vows I knew what I was getting. So did Sara." Leaning forward he said, "Neither one of us takes that commitment lightly. Besides, any woman who would wait that long for me is not going to give up easily. She loves me and I love her and for that you work harder."

"Yeah. You're right about Sara. That is one more stubborn woman." Warrick smiled before his eyes grew sad again. "You're lucky, Griss."

"I know. More than I deserve to be, I'm lucky."

"Thanks, Griss," Warrick said.

"I didn't do anything."

"You did more than you know."

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Jonathan's second birthday party was in full swing. Sara and Grissom's backyard resounded with the laughter of children, both big and small. Some of Jonathan's playmates from daycare and their parents were there. They joined the gang from the lab. Lindsay brought her boyfriend and spent the day holding hands and giggling, much to the amusement of all those who remembered her tagging after Greg the year before. Greg, to his credit, took the rejection well. Sara stood back and surveyed the group of people gathered to celebrate her son's special day. Again Grissom and Brass were manning the grill while Nick, Warrick and Greg played with the kids. The women were gathered on the deck, making use of the tables and chairs there.

Sara was in the kitchen getting food ready to go outside when Catherine wandered in. "Hey, need some help?" she asked.

Looking around, Sara said, "Sure. Can you get those two plates out to the deck?"

"Yeah," Catherine said. She hesitated before asking, "Have you noticed anything strange about Warrick?"

"What do you mean strange?" Sara's tone was noncommittal.

"He's not wearing his wedding ring. And I heard Nick saying something about a date." Catherine busied herself picking up the platters so that Sara wouldn't see the naked hope in her eyes.

Sara turned and studied her friend. Could Catherine actually be carrying a torch for Warrick? He had been married for more than three years. Of course she waited almost a third of her life on Grissom. "Catherine, why don't you ask him?"

"He talked to you?" Catherine couldn't mask the hurt in her voice.

"Not to me, no. I only have second hand information that I swore to keep secret." Sara held Catherine's gaze with her own. "Just ask him."

Catherine nodded and started outside with the food. Turning back to look at Sara, she said, "Thanks for not asking me why I want to know."

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Warrick was sitting on the grass watching Nick and Greg pushing the children on Jonathan's new swing set. He looked around when Catherine dropped down beside him and held out a beer. "Thanks," he said, taking a long pull at the bottle.

Catherine drank and sighed at the feel of the ice cold liquid sliding down her throat. "Mmmm. That's good." When Warrick only nodded in agreement, she continued, "How've you been?"

Warrick, green eyes hidden behind sunglasses, studied Catherine's profile before replying. "I'm good. How about you?"

"Me? I'm good too." Catherine continued to watch Jonathan on the swing and take sips of her beer. "They are so precious, aren't they? The kids."

"Yeah, Jonathan is the greatest." The affection in Warrick's voice was unmistakable.

"I think we're all a little biased."

"You're probably right. I wonder if they've ever thought about having another baby. They are really good at this being married and having a family stuff."

Catherine knew an opening when she saw one. "I don't know about another baby but I do know they work very hard at keeping their marriage solid. Who would have thought that Grissom and Sara would set the example for everyone else?" She hurriedly added, "Except you and Tina."

Warrick sat there for a moment, his mind trying to form the words to tell Catherine. Why was it harder to tell her than anyone? Her anger at his marriage was long over. But her words about fantasies only being good if there was a possibility they could come true still played in the back of his mind. Turning to face the one woman that was unattainable, Warrick said, "Tina and I are getting a divorce."

Catherine wished he would take off the sunglasses so that she could see his eyes. "I'm sorry to hear that. I thought you guys could make it."

Warrick wished she would take off her sunglasses so that he could see her eyes. "I thought so too. But when you don't want the same things it becomes impossible."

"I know what you mean. That's what earned me my divorce. I needed to be better for Lindsay and Eddie never did."

"Tina wanted me to find another job. She didn't like me working so many hours. She ended up spending more time with her friends than at home. Then, one day, she left." Warrick kept his gaze moving, never letting it linger on the woman beside him.

"I'm sorry." Catherine's voice was quiet and thick with feeling. "You know that if you need anything, a shoulder, an ear, anything, you can call me."

"Thanks. I appreciate the offer." Warrick smiled for the first time since Catherine had taken the seat beside him. "Wow, this is getting pretty deep. Why don't you tell me about Lindsay's boy-toy over there?"

Catherine rolled her eyes, "Oh, you mean Blake…"

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When everyone had gone home and Jonathan was in bed, Grissom and Sara were stretched out on the couch together listening to music and unwinding.

"Catherine has a thing for Warrick." Sara smiled when she felt Grissom jerk in response.

"Why do you think that?"

"Because I am female and I have intuition." Laughing at his snort, Sara said, "Because she wanted to know why he didn't have on a wedding ring and got a little testy when she thought I knew."

"That's it. You're basing your assumption on her being nosy and snippy? And you call yourself a criminalist." Grissom smiled at her playful growl of irritation. "Seriously, why do you think she has this…this…thing for Warrick?"

"Because she didn't want to explain why she wanted to know. Not to mention that she sought him out and have a pretty serious conversation with him." When Grissom still looked skeptical she said, "Trust me on this. I know the signs."

"Promise me something?" Grissom asked. At Sara's nod he said, "Promise that if you're unhappy you'll tell me that you won't let it get to that point."

"Oh, Gil, I promise." Sara wiggled until she was sprawled on top of Grissom. Looking down into his eyes, she said, "I love you and I can't imagine life without you. Don't ever let me go."

"I won't, honey. I need you too much." Grissom tangled his hand in Sara's hair and drew her lips down to his. He broke away long enough to say, "I love you Sara. More than you will ever know."

"Show me," she whispered against his lips.


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: The shoes Sara is wearing are Anne Klein Felix. If you have a shoe obsession check them out at shoeblogger. I didn't do them justice. The Marshall House is a B& B in Savannah, GA.

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI (or Bones). That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 26

"I don't know if I'll make it five days," Sara said as they sat waiting for their flight to be called.

"Sara," Grissom chided, "Jonathan will be fine with Catherine. Relax. This will be fun."

"I know you're right but I've never been away from him for this long. What if he gets sick? What if he just wants me to hold him?" Sara pressed her fingers to her eyes to prevent any tears from escaping. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea."

"Sara, we'll call every day, two or three times a day, to check on him. I know you'll miss him but doesn't the thought of four nights alone with me do anything for you?" Grissom's worried eyes searched her face as he tried to tease her out of her bad mood.

"What if he doesn't miss me?" Sara said quietly as a single tear leaked over her eyelashes and trailed down her cheek.

"Oh honey." Grissom slid an arm around her shoulders and hugged her to his side. "How could he not miss you?"

Sara sniffled a little and gave him a watery smile. "I know it sounds silly but…" her voice trailed off and she shrugged. Shaking her head and pasting on a smile, Sara said, "They're calling our flight. Let's go."

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Even at eight o'clock in the morning, Savannah in late August is a sauna. Hot, damp and beautiful, like the woman it is often compared to. The air is a tangible thing. The centuries old live oaks, dripping with Spanish moss, pepper the streets and sidewalks with patches of shade. The cobblestones of the river front promenade are original and bring to mind a time long passed. The squares, surrounded by historic buildings, tell of a kinder, gentler age that places like Las Vegas have never known. Time moves slower in the port city. Words flow like honey and manners are more than mere suggestions. Sara was instantly captivated. Maybe the sense of permanence spoke to the little girl with no roots. Maybe she could identify with a place that had survived so much tragedy only to come out stronger on the other side. She wasn't sure how to describe her feelings. She only knew that she was drawn to this little piece of the south like a moth to a flame.

Grissom steered the rental car down Bay Street. As they passed the Hyatt Regency he pointed it out and explained that the conference would be held there. Taking a right on Broughton he began navigating the twisting streets surrounding the squares. Taking in Sara's enthralled expression, Grissom pulled up in front of a brick building that sported a wrought iron railed veranda.

"This is our stop." When Sara's eyes lit up, Grissom continued, "I thought you'd like it."

"The Marshall House? You didn't want to stay at the Hyatt with everyone else?"

"Why would I want to stay in a generic box with a crowd of people when I could stay here with you?" Grissom asked before bringing her hand to his lips for a kiss. "Let's get settled."

The suite they were given was breathtaking. The space was light and airy with French doors opening onto the veranda with rocking chairs that overlooked the shaded street below. All the modern conveniences were nestled in with the antique iron bed and the claw foot tub. It was a perfect blend of old and new and it dripped with quiet elegance.

Sara stood in the middle of the sitting area and turned in a slow circle. She was smiling from ear to ear. "Oh, Grissom, it's beautiful. How did you find this place?"

"Google." Grissom smiled at his wife. It was times like these that made him realize how much joy she had brought into his life.

Walking over and wrapping her arms around his waist, she said, "Thank you. I love it." Sara placed a gentle kiss on his lips. "What's on the agenda for today?"

Letting his arms come up and wrap around her waist, Grissom said, "There are cocktails at six for the speakers and other VIP's. Then I thought we'd get dinner somewhere close by. Nothing too strenuous since my first presentation is at nine in the morning. Is there anything you want to do?"

"No. Not today." Sara stepped a little closer. "Maybe we could try out that big bed in there." When Grissom's hands slid down to cup her ass, Sara said, "I meant to nap. We've been traveling all night."

"We slept on the plane." Grissom gave Sara his most pleading look. "Besides, I'm tense. It would help me relax."

Sara laughed and Grissom was struck by her beauty. "How can I say no to that kind of logic?"

Grissom nuzzled the spot behind her ear and said, "You can't. It is infallible."

Laughing again at the smug look on his face, Sara asked, "Do you think I could have a shower first?"

"How about we shower together?" When she shook her head at his obvious ploy, he said, "What? I just thought I could impress you with my multi-tasking abilities."

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Sara awoke just after three o'clock. The room was dim but the curtains couldn't keep out all of the afternoon sun. Stretching, she eyed the man sprawled on his stomach beside her and smiled lazily. The sight of him sleeping never failed to melt her heart. His hair was mussed and the side of his face pressed into the mattress. His lips were parted and his breath puffed regularly from between them. Reaching out a finger, she gently traced his full lower lip, withdrawing quickly when his breathing hitched at her touch.

When his eyes slowly opened, she said in a husky voice, "Hey."

He smiled sleepily and turned on his side to face her. "Hey." He took in her sleep tousled hair and clear brown eyes. "What time is it?"

Sara rose up enough to check the clock over his shoulder before snuggling back down on her pillow. "Three-thirty."

"We need to get ready."

"Mmmhmm." Sara smiled when he ran a hand down her bare arm. "We could stay here."

"Here? In the room?" Grissom grinned.

"In this bed." Sara tried to waggle her eyebrows eliciting a snort from her husband.

Regaining his composure, Grissom felt his breath catch. With something akin to awe he said, "You are so beautiful." He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Wow," Sara breathed. "You really know how to make a girl feel special." A slight blush rose in her cheeks at the unexpected declaration.

"You are special." Grissom's eyes skated over her face, lingering on each beloved feature. After a moment he mentally shook himself and said, "I would love to stay here with you. But we really need to go." Seeing her disappointment, he said, "After tomorrow morning I'm free for two days."

"Okay. Besides I bought a new dress for the occasion. Might as well wear it." With that, Sara rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom, giving Grissom a delightful view of what he would be missing.

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After a short debate, they decided to walk the few blocks to the Hyatt. They strolled, hand in hand, in no particular hurry to reach their destination. The temperature was less than they were used to. The humidity, however, was something to be reckoned with. Sara was grateful she had pulled her hair up. She had a mental image of how unruly it would be if left to its own devices. Glancing at Grissom, she noticed that his normally well groomed locks were starting to curl haphazardly, making him appear younger and sexier. With his jacket slung over his shoulder and his cheeks flushed from the heat he was absolutely adorable.

Entering the lobby, both Sara and Grissom were thankful for the miracle of air conditioning. The blessedly cool air washed over them, raising gooseflesh on Sara's bare arms. Grissom asked at the desk and was informed that the conference was taking place on the second floor. Thanking the clerk he escorted Sara to the elevator.

When the door closed, he turned to her and said, "Did I tell you how good you look?"

"No. I don't believe you did." Sara said with a grin. She was wearing a raw silk sheath in a deep pink. The simple lines of the dress enhanced her slender body, nipping in at the waist and hugging the swell of her hips. The boat neck was just low enough to leave her delicate collar bones and the hollow of her throat exposed. But the best part of the dress was not the front. The dress draped from her shoulders leaving her bare from the nape of her neck to the small of her back. Her shoes were cream satin two strap sandals with deep pink ribbon detail that gave the impression the shoes were made of flowers.

Smiling, he let his eyes travel from her head to her toes. "You look fantastic."

"Thank you, sir. You look really good yourself."

"Thank you," Grissom said. A light blush rode his cheekbones at the compliment. For the occasion Grissom had donned a beige, summer weight Hugo Boss suit with a pale blue shirt. His tie was a darker blue with a tiny dark pink print. His skin was tanned and his eyes were an impossible blue. His hair, shot through with silver, was curling wildly.

The elevator opened onto a hallway lined with doors on one side. The other side looked down into the lobby. As they strode down the hall they could hear the low buzz of conversation coming from one of the rooms. Grissom opened the door and the noise level went up ten fold. Sara walked through the door and several conversations trailed off only to be replaced by whispers and shocked looks when Grissom stepped through the door behind her.

Taking in the stunned faces of the people closest to the door, Grissom smiled and laid his hand on the small of her back, just above the material of her dress and began guiding her toward the bar. "Let's get a drink. What would you like?"

Sara, looking a little uncomfortable, shrugged and said, "Vodka tonic. Extra lime." As they made their way across the room, she asked quietly, "Why are they all staring at us?"

He leaned in and whispered, his breath tickling her cheek, "Because they can't believe I'm lucky enough to be here with you." When they reached the bar he gave their order to the bartender. Handing Sara a drink, he said, "Come on, there are some people I want you to meet."

Sara hadn't seen this side of Grissom before. Normally, in a crowd, he was quiet and withdrawn. Here, surrounded by his peers, he was almost gregarious. He introduced her to an Entomology professor from Duke University who consulted to the state of North Carolina's crime lab. She met several people who shared his passion for forensics and crime scene investigation, each an expert in their field. Then she was introduced to a Forensic Anthropologist from D.C. and her co-worker.

After they excused themselves to greet another acquaintance of Grissom's, Sara said, "They're crazy about each other."

"Who? Temperance and Agent Booth?" he asked. "Why do you say that?"

Sara teased, "You are probably the most unobservant man I've ever met. He looks at her like he could gobble her up. She looks at him like he hung the moon." Smiling up at him, she said, "Sound familiar?"

Any answer he would have given was cut off by someone calling his name. Turning he saw a familiar face. With a mental groan, he said, "Terri."


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI (or Bones). That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 27

"Terri," Grissom said and felt Sara stiffen beside him. "How have you been?"

"I've been good, Gil. How about you?" the blonde stopped in front of Grissom, just a little bit too close for comfort and extended her hand.

"I've been doing very well." Grissom clasped Terri's hand, pulling back when she would have held on. He gripped Sara's elbow and urged her forward. "You remember Sara?"

Turning her attention to Sara, she gave a cool smile and said, "Of course. Ms. Sidle, how nice to see you again."

"Dr. Miller," Sara responded, "Nice to see you too."

Grissom cast a questioning glance at this wife before saying, "She hasn't been Ms. Sidle for a while now."

"Oh really?" Terri's blue eyes flashed but her voice remained aloof. "Is there something I should know?"

"We've been married for just over three years. I thought you would have heard," Grissom stated with a smile.

"Well, I had heard a rumor or two. I assumed they were just that." Terri smiled at Grissom and turned to look at Sara, "Congratulations."

Sara inclined her head and murmured, "Thank you."

"Gil, I'm happy for you. How did Sara get you to divorce your job and marry her?" The cattiness in her voice was a perfectfoil for the iciness in her eyes.

"She didn't even try." Grissom turned to look at Sara and said, "Sometimes, Terri, it isn't about doing what you think will be best for you. It's about finding what you've always dreamed of and taking a chance." Sara's head turned toward him and her mouth formed a small 'o' at Grissom's words. Seeing her obvious surprise, he leaned over and placed a quick kiss on her lips. "And when you take that chance it's better than anything else could have been."

"Well, Gil," Terri said, "I'm very happy for the both of you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to say hello to a few other people. Sara."

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"I think that blonde just got put in her place," Agent Booth said with a grin, rubbing his hands together.

"You mean Dr. Miller? I'm sure they were just saying hello," Temperance Brennan said absently.

"Bones, you don't get it, do you? The Ice Queen walked up and Sara's eyes narrowed, her back stiffened, in general she looked pissed off." He stood, hands on hips, surveying the room.

"So? Does that mean she put Terri in her place?" Her brows drew together in confusion.

"Oh no. Sara didn't do anything. It was Gil."

"Why would Gil do that?" Bones asked.

"Because, Bones, sometimes when you love a woman you let her know by fending off other women." It was said matter-of-factly, as if he had experience in that sort of thing. He completely missed the daggers shooting out of her eyes.

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"You didn't have to do that, you know?" Sara said as Terri walked away.

"Yes I did." Grissom squeezed her hand and said, "The last time we ran into a…um…someone I've dated it caused a lot of trouble. I realized, rather belatedly, that I should have been a little more up front about our status. I'm proud to call you mine and I want everyone to know it."

Awed once again Sara said, "Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did."

"Okay, funny guy," Sara said warningly.

"Sure. Anything you want to know." Grissom hoped he wouldn't regret those words.

Sara smiled at the hint of panic in his eyes. "Who are you and what have you done with Gil?"

Laughing at her teasing, Grissom asked, "Are you hungry?" When Sara nodded, he said, "Then let's get out of here."

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Arm in arm they meandered back toward their hotel. The sun was setting and dusk made the city even more beautiful. The air was heavy and perfumed with gardenias and jasmine. The smell of the sea lingered in the background and teased at the senses, making everything else seem sweeter. The sounds of a tourist city were all around them. People laughed and shouted. They could hear the music from a band playing at City Market a couple of blocks away. The streets were filled with cars, tour buses and horse drawn carriages. They were an oasis of silence in the midst ofthe storm.

Grissom had made reservations at 45 Bistro, an intimate, upscale restaurant located inside the Marshall House.While they were waiting to be seated, Grissom used his cell phone to call Catherine. They spent a few minutes assuring themselves that Jonathan was okay and another few talking about the lab. When their table was ready they said good-bye to Catherine and followed the hostess past the bar and into the restaurant.

Seated at a small table overlooking a lovely courtyard, Grissom and Sara took a moment to relish the cool, quiet of the room. They took a few minutes to peruse the menu, Sara deciding on a sea scallop lasagna and Grissom choosing a filet. When they had ordered and the wine was opened and poured, Grissom studied the woman by his side.

"Why so quiet?" Grissom asked, concern ringing in his voice.

Sara shrugged and shook her head. "No reason."

"Sara, does…uh…does Terri make you nervous? I don't think I've ever seen you so…um…reserved." Grissom's brows drew together in a quizzical expression.

Sara thought for a moment before saying, "Yeah. I guess she does."

"Why?" Grissom was truly amazed at her admission.

Sara gave him an incredulous look. "My God, Griss look at her. She's perfect. She's cool and poised, brilliant and beautiful. I'm not even sure she's human."

"Sara," Grissom said, bringing her hand to his lips, "I can't deny that she is all of those things. I wouldn't insult your intelligence that way. But she can't hold a candle to you."

"You didn't think that a few years ago."

Understanding dawned and Grissom leaned back in his chair. "Sara," he chided. "I went to dinner with Terri one time. Do you want to know how that ended?"

"I'm afraid to ask." Sara couldn't quite meet his eyes.

"She walked out on me." Grissom laughed at the shock on her face. "I know it's hard to believe that someone would walk out on _me_."

Sara laughed because he expected it. Sobering, she asked, "Why?"

"I got paged and, when I didn't answer fast enough, called. Body with bugs. I excused myself to giveinstructions on what to do until I arrived and when I came back she was gone. We never even ordered." Grissom shrugged. "That was the end of that."

"Okay," Sara said.

"Sara, at that point in my life, I thought she was what I should be interested in. We were a lot alike; same age, same career goals, same ability to distance ourselves from the victims. Then there was you. You were young and you had this fire, this passion that scared the shit out of me. I could be with Terri and not have to give too much of myself. Being with you was the equivalent of standing naked in the middle of the street. Bare-assed and trying not to get run down." Grissom smiled a self-deprecating smile and ran a finger down her cheek.

Sara tried to lighten the mood. "Now there's a mental picture."

Grissom's eyes bored into hers when he said, "I meant what I said to Terri. It's not about what you think would be the better choice. It's about having what you want. I always wanted you. I just didn't think I could handle the intensity."

"And now?" Sara asked, softly.

"Now, I can't imagine my life any other way." Grissom cupped the back of her neck and drew her in for asoft kiss.

They pulled apart when their waiter cleared his throat discretely. He placed salads in front of them and quickly disappeared. They ate in silence punctuated by loving looks and shy smiles. The salad plates were cleared and the entrees brought out. When Sara got her first taste of the lasagna she moaned in appreciation.

"You have to taste this," she declared, holding out a fork for Grissom.

He leaned over and took the proffered bite, "Mmmm. That is good. Do you want to try the steak?" His eyes gleamed with laughter.

"Sure," Sara deadpanned. After a second they both started to laugh.

They were half way through the main course when Grissom surprised Sara for the tenth time in as many hours. "Tell me about Hank," he said.


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 28

Sara choked on the food in her mouth and reached for her wine glass. Taking a sip, she cleared her throat and asked hoarsely, "What?" Her eyes were wide with shock.

"Tell me about Hank." Grissom studied her face before adding, "I know it's old news but that seems to be the theme tonight."

"There's not much to tell. What do you want to know?"

"What happened? I know you dated him but why did you break up?" Grissom had a pretty good idea but he wanted to hear Sara's story.

"Well, for the record, Gerard had it wrong. We weren't having a relationship when he thought we were." Sara paused. "Are you sure you want to get into this?"

"I'm sure. I promise not to behave like an ass afterward." Grissom smiled at her and put another bite in his mouth.

Sara avoided his gaze and said, "Well, we were just friends. I mean, I thought he was cute and he was fun but there was no…no…"

"Spark?" Grissom supplied.

"Yeah. Anyway, after you told me to get a life, for about the hundredth time, I started going out with a group of people I knew from work, a couple of uniforms, paramedics, girls and guys. Hank just happened to be one of those people. After a while, I would go to a movie with him or out to eat but still nothing physical. Then Gerard made a big deal out of the bra. And we got raked over the coals at trial. And, on top of everything else, you started to ignore me completely. You wouldn't work with me. You barely spoke to me. Oh hell, you know the story." Sara took a long drink of wine before continuing.

"One day, I had had enough. I'm not even sure what triggered it. I decided that I was going to move on." Sara shrugged. "So, I slept with Hank; I used him, to try to get you out of my head…out of my heart. It didn't work." She met Grissom's steady gaze with one of her own.

"Good," Grissom interjected, making her smile.

Taking another bite, she chewed and swallowed before saying, "Do you remember that case where the elderly woman drove her car into a restaurant so that her grandson could have money for college?" When Grissom nodded Sara continued, "Hank was one of the people who got hurt. Another of the victims was his girlfriend."

"Oh honey," he murmured.

"It's not like he even told me. I went to her apartment to follow up and saw a picture of the two of them. When she saw me looking at it she started…gushing about her boyfriend and the great vacation they had been on. How the accident had forced them to cancel the one they had planned. And you know the funny part, I never let her know. Me, Miss Passion, Miss Emotionally Unstable, I never let on that I had slept with the 'love of her life' a couple of days before that."

"That had to hurt." Grissom's eyes showed that he remembered what it was like to be betrayed.

"At first it did. But I realized I was much more embarrassed than hurt. I also figured it was no less than I deserved. I mean, I had used him and it was only fair that he used me too." Sara shrugged and gave Grissom a tight smile. "But you want to know the best part? He was afraid I would tell her and she would leave him." Sara's face was flushed, not from the wine but from embarrassment. "I just still can't believe that I was so stupid. But you live and you learn." Sara sighed before saying, "Now you know the story of Hank."

"Thank you," Grissom said.

"For what?" Sara asked.

"For telling me. For trusting me."

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Grissom opened the door to their suite and stood back, letting Sara precede him into the room. He shrugged out of his jacket and started loosening his tie as he pushed the door closed. Taking a look around, he noticed the dim lights and the champagne on ice beside the loveseat.

"I'm going to change. My feet are killing me." Sara said, heading for the bedroom. When she opened the door she drew up short. The lights were low, music was playing softly in the background, the bed was turned down and rose petals were scattered over the sheets. Turning back to look at Grissom, she asked, "Did you do this?"

With an innocent look, he asked, "Do what?"

"Oh, Gil, you are too much." With a grin, Sara walked back and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Thank you."

"It doesn't come close to what you deserve." Grissom pulled her against his chest, nuzzling her hair, inhaling her scent.

Sara tilted her head and found his lips with hers. "There's never been anyone else. You know that don't you?"

"Yeah, I know. My life began the moment I first heard your voice." He moved his head slightly and kissed her until he felt her melt against him as her bones turned liquid. Dragging his lips across her cheek and placing a kiss behind her ear, he whispered, "Champagne?"

Sara's voice was ragged. "Let's save it for tomorrow. Right now I just want you."

Grissom pulled her in tighter, pressing her long length against him. "God, Sara, do you know what you do to me?" When she playfully shook her head he began to whisper all the ways she turned him on, punctuating each statement with a kiss to her cheek or neck or shoulder. When she captured his face between her hands and pulled his mouth to hers they were both a little breathless.

Sara let her fingers trail down his face and neck until her hands rested on his chest. Pulling her lips from his, she grasped his tie and tugged him after her toward the bedroom. "I've never made love on a bed of roses. It just seems so…so decadent."

They stopped beside the bed and Grissom said, "I want to see you naked with those rose petals all around you." His voice was rough with longing.

Sara used his tie to guide him to the side of the bed. Gently pushing him onto it she stepped back and holding his gaze with her own, she loosened the side zipper on her dress and brushed it off her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. She stepped out of it and pushed it aside. When she stood there in nothing more than a dark pink thong and her heels his eyes flared and a groan escaped his throat. When she bent to remove her shoes, he growled, "Leave them."

Sara's head snapped up in surprise. A slow, sexy smile spread across her face. "Like the shoes, bugman?"

Grissom merely grunted and licked his lips. "Come here."

He took in the differences motherhood and time had made to her body and knew that, if given the chance, he wouldn't undo any of them. She was beautiful. Her hair was still pinned up but strands had escaped to curl around her face. Her neck, in its swan like beauty, begged for his lips. She had strong shoulders and arms that he knew could provide comfort, as well as passion. Her upturned breasts, her slightly rounded tummy and her mile long legs were, in his eyes, perfect. Just the thought of her lips could make him ache with need. But it was her eyes that had captured him. The light in them was for him and him alone.

Sara moved with a grace that most people would never guess she had. In her professional life she was always in a hurry, always on some quest for the truth, and didn't have time to worry about how others perceived her. But right now, at this moment, she wanted this man to know that she was a woman, his woman. She wanted him to look at her with that heat in his gaze – the kind of heat that made her thighs turn to jelly and liquid warmth pool between them. Stopping between his splayed legs, she let her fingers trail up over her belly, skimming her ribs, stopping just shy of her breasts before sliding down to rest at her sides.

Grissom's heart was racing as he stretched out trembling hands and placed them on her hips. Leaning forward he placed a kiss just above her belly button, causing her to gasp and thread her fingers through his hair. Burying his face against her stomach he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. Easing his hold, Grissom began placing warm kisses over her torso. He flicked his tongue around her belly button before using it to trace the bottom of her rib cage. He nipped at her hip bones and let his beard tickle the skin at the top of her underwear. He looked up to see Sara's head thrown back, her chest heaving with every breath, her nipples puckered in anticipation. He could smell the musk of her arousal and it fueled his own desire.

Kissing and nipping his way up her body, he stood. Her hands were tangled in his hair and his were splayed over her back molding her to his body until there was no way to know where one ended and the other began. His lips were on hers and their tongues were entwined in an age old dance. Sara slid her arms down until her palms rested on his chest and she pushed against him until there was enough room to reach the buttons on his shirt. She slipped them open, one by one, until she could slide her hands over his bare skin.

Suddenly, Grissom released her and stepped back. Never taking his eyes from her, he began to quickly shed his clothes. Tie, shirt and shoes landed in a heap. He fumbled with his belt until Sara's slender fingers reached out to help him. He caught his thumbs in his waistband and pushed down pants and boxers, leaving him naked before her. His arousal hung full and thick between his muscular thighs. His hands were clenching and unclenching at his sides. Stepping out of his pants and tugging off his socks he advanced until mere inches separated them.

"Take off your panties," he instructed.

Sara pushed her panties as far down as she could before wiggling slightly so they slid to her ankles. He guided her back until she was sitting on the bed. Kneeling before her he lifted first one leg and then the other, removing her shoes and kissing the arch of each foot. He started there and began to make love to her an inch at a time.

Time lost all meaning. There was the slide of his sweat slicked skin against hers. Lips and tongues tasting and tugging until Sara was writhing in helpless need. Fingers searching and finding the center of her need, teasing and stroking until her body clenched in sweet release. The scent of arousal and roses and sweat permeated the air. Words were whispered; silly words, sweet words, lustful words. When he rose up over her, slid into her, she cried. Tears of sheer joy leaked from the corners of her eyes and ran silently down her cheeks. He paused, brushing them away, cradling her face between his hands, kissing her with a tenderness that pulled at her heartstrings.

"I love you Sara, so much." Grissom's voice was hoarse, his eyes filled with unshed tears.

Slowly, he began to move; short, easy strokes that brought a smile to her face. She wrapped her legs around his hips, pulling him deeper, holding him to her. Rocking her hips, she urged him on. When she dug her nails into his shoulders he moaned her name. When she whispered harder he began to plunge into her. Sara planted her feet on either side of his hips thrusting up to meet him. Grissom grunted with the effort of each and every stroke. His face was buried in the crook of her neck. Her lips skimmed over every inch of him she could reach.

"Sara, I…oh God! Sara!" Grissom's pushed forward, burying himself in her, pulsing and throbbing in his ecstasy.

Sara, feeling him tense, began to roll her hips creating a friction that had her clinging to him as the most intense sensations she had ever experienced washed over her.

Slowly, Grissom rolled to his side, pulling Sara with him. Nestling her against his chest, he placed gentle kisses on her forehead and cheeks. She raised her head and caught his lips with hers. The kiss was soft and sweet. Running her hand down his cheek, staring into his eyes, Sara smiled.


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 29

For Jonathan's third birthday, Grissom and Sarafound themselves with a backyard full of people once again. And just like the previous years, Sara stood on the deck looking out at the people that had gathered for the celebration. In addition to the original night shift crew, Judd and his wife and children, Susan and Jocelyn from days and their children, and Vivian and Nicole from daycare and their children had all shown up. But there were five special people that caused her eyes to fill with tears. While her hand stroked her belly, she whispered, "You are going to be one lucky little girl."

Grissom was coming out of the house when he saw her standing there. Walking up behind her, he encircled her waist with his arms and said, "You okay?" When she nodded, he asked, "What are you thinking about?"

"How lucky we are. We have the greatest family in the world." Sara smiled through the tears in her eyes.

Glancing around, Grissom nodded. "Yeah, we do. Just don't tell them or we'll never get them to go home." When Sara laughed, he kissed her cheek and released her. "I'm going to help Jim."

Spying Nick and Wendi playing agame of toss with a group of three year olds, Sara reached for her camera. Nick had spent a lot of time trying to convince the night shift DNA tech to go out with him. Little did he know she had set her sights on him the first time they met. She just decided to let him chase her until she caught him. Sara and Catherine had both been aware of her plan and shared many laughs at Nick's expense. Thankfully, he looked very happy. Snapping a picture of them laughing at the antics of Jonathan, she allowed her gaze to move on.

Greg also brought a date. Keri,a red haired beauty, was calm and composed; a perfect foil for Greg's goofiness. Sara had spent some time talking to her and knew that she was smart enough to keephim interested. And judging by all the hugging and hand holding, they were physically compatible also. Sara wondered when he had grown up. It seemed like only last week she had been walking him through his first crime scene. Now, because of the wicked way his mind works, Greg was fast proving he is a force to be reckoned with. His solve rate was inching up and he was giving Nick and Warrick both a run for their money. Sara got a picture of the love birds sharing a sweet kiss before turning her attention to Catherine.

Sara was almost embarrassed by the naked longing she saw on the other woman's face. Following her gaze, Sara wasn't surprised to find that Warrick was thefocus of her attention. Sometimes she wanted to shake them both. After all the years they had watched her and Grissom perform this same dance it seemed they should know better. Deciding that she would get a picture of the two of them later she turned her eyes to Jim and Gil.

She snapped a couple of shots of them. They were both relaxed and smiling. Both were wearing shorts and t-shirts and ball caps. Talking quietly while sipping beer and watching the grill as if it were going to give up the secrets to the universe. Jim had surprised Sara by bringing Sofia with him this year. She had heard rumors that the two had been dating for a while. But he never brought up her name when he was around them. Actually, she was happy for him. If Sofia was what he wanted then she could live with it.

She turned her head looking for Sofia and found her talking with Warrick. She took a picture of them just as Warrick laughed at something Sofia had to say. Warrick had been through a lot in the past year. At Jonathan's last party he was in the process of getting a divorce. No matter what the circumstances, that has to be rough. As far as she knew, he wasn't dating. It seemed like forever since she had seen him smile. Hopefully, this year he would be able to find a little peace.

Laying the camera on the table, Sara made her way down the steps and over to Catherine. Standing beside her, Sara said, "Okay, Gil, when are you going to get your head out of your ass and do something about it?"

Catherine stared at her for a moment, eyes wide, and mouth hanging open, before bursting into laughter. "Dear lord, am I that obvious?"

"Well, I've seen it before. But yeah." Sara smiled, "If you're worried about the job, go to the sheriff. He thinks you're great and Warrick is not a direct report."

"I don't know. I..it's just…what if I'm not everything he imagined me to be?"

Now it was Sara's turn to be shocked. "Is this the ever confident Catherine Willows? He adores you." At Catherine's skeptical look, she said, "Really."

"Sara, if only it were that easy." When Sara snorted, Catherine started to giggle. The giggle turned into a full blown laugh. When she could speak, Catherine said, "I do sound like Gil, don't I? Okay, that's it. I've turned into Grissom!" They were still laughing when Warrick wandered over.

"What's so funny ladies?" he asked.

Sara stood there for a moment before blurting, "I'm going to check on the food." She turned and hurried toward the grill leaving an embarrassed Catherine and a confused Warrick standing together.

Warrick looked at Catherine, eyebrow raised, and waited on an explanation. Finally she said, "Can we go inside and talk for a minute?" When he nodded she turned and led the way.

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When they had settled on opposite ends of the couch, Catherine turned to Warrick and smiled nervously. Unable to stay still, she stood and began pacing back and forth in front of him. Finally, he broke the silence. "You're scaring me. What's going on?"

Catherine gave a harsh laugh. "This is ridiculous. I'm a grown woman." She returned to the couch and sat down next to Warrick. Taking a deep breath, she said, "I know that you're divorce hasn't been final for very long. So if you say no I'll understand. I mean, you may not be ready, or whatever. And, maybe you're not interested." Her words were running together, her hands trembling and her heart pounding. Finally, she asked, "Would you like to go to dinner sometime?"

Warrick was stunned. He had been afraid she was going to try to set him up but instead she asked him out. After what seemed an eternity, he said, "Yeah."

"Yeah?" Catherine asked.

"Yes. I would like to have dinner with you sometime." Seeing the relief on her face he started to laugh. "What did you expect me to say?"

"I…um…I wasn't sure."

Warrick just shook his head, amazed that she thought he would ever turn her down. Smiling, he reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. "I'm off Friday night. How about then?" When Catherine nodded, he asked, "Now can you tell me what Sara thought was so funny?"

Sara saw Catherine and Warrick emerge from the house. Taking in their body language, she knew that things had gone well. Smiling to herself, she snapped a candid shot of them standing on the deck smiling at each other.

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When the crowd had dwindled to the original night shift crew and their dates, Sara gathered everyone up for a group picture. Somehow, Wendi and Keri begged out. Keri agreed to take the picture. With much joking and grumbling they all lined up.Grissom and Sara wereholding Jonathan between them and wereflanked by Catherine and Brass. Warrick, Nick and Greg made up the back row with Sofia standing beside Jim.

As had become their habit, Grissom and Sara curled up on the couch after they put Jonathan down for the night. Grissom was massaging Sara's feet and listening to the music that was playing quietly in the background. Sara was leaned back, eyes closed, moaning her appreciation of his technique. When his hands moved to her calves, she opened one eye and said, "What do you think you're doing?"

He gave her an innocent look and replied, "Massaging your feet and legs. They looked swollen."

"As long as they're the only things that are swollen." Sara laughed at the expression on his face. "Busted."

"Okay, you caught me. Can't blame a guy for trying." Grissom smiled and continued smoothing his hands over her legs.

After a few minutes of silence, Sara said, "Catherine asked Warrick out."

Grissom's hands went still. "How do you know?"

"Because I called her Gil and told her to get her head out of her ass and do something about her feelings. Once she realized she shouldn't hit a pregnant woman she laughed and took my advice."

Grissom laughed at his wife's audacity. "You actually called her Gil?"

"Well, she was giving me some crap about not knowing what to do. And then there was something about not sure how he felt. Just excuses." Sara said with a smile when he resumed rubbing her feet.

"What about her job? And his? I can't afford to lose him." Grissom said quietly.

"I told her to talk to the sheriff. It's not like Warrick is a direct report. If we managed to pull it off I'm sure they can. Besides, they deserve to be happy."

Grissom was quiet for a minute. "They do. Deserve to be happy that is. I'm just glad she decided to do something and not waste as much time as I did."

"Why do you think I'm pushing them a little? They've been attracted to each other for years. I think it's time they quit running. Look how it worked out for us." Sara sat up and slid around until her head was resting on Grissom's shoulder.

Placing a kiss on top of her head and laying a hand on her belly, Grissom said, "If they are half as lucky as we are then everything will work out fine."


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. That's why I work for a living.

Chapter 30

It's going to be a wild night, Grissom thought. There's a full moon. Trying to focus on the task at hand, Grissom squatted over the body of a Jane Doe. Just as he pulled on his gloves his phone started to ring. With a muffled curse he snatched it out of his pocket and flipped it open. "Grissom!" he barked.

"Hi honey, it's good to hear from you too," Sara snipped.

"Sorry. I didn't check the id. Wait, what time is it? Why are you calling now?" With a start, Grissom realized why she must be calling. "Are you okay? Did you call Cath?"

"I'm fine. Catherine and Lindsay are on the way. Lindsay is going to stay with Jonathan and Catherine is going to drive me to the hospital." Sara said calmly. "Why don't you meet us at Desert Palm? She should be here in about ten minutes."

Grissom was already stripping off his gloves and closing his kit. "I'm about forty-five minutes away. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Okay. Be careful and I'll see you soon." Sara paused before saying, "Love you Gil."

"I love you, too." Grissom paused for a second, then added, "Hey Sara, don't start without me." He clicked the phone closed on her laughter.

Grissom turned around and saw Nick looking at him with his eyebrow raised in a silent question. Nodding, he said, "We're gonna have a baby, Nicky my boy. I've gotta go." His smile was wide and he fumbled with the latch on his kit as his hands shook.

"Hell yeah!" Nick's enthusiasm drew the attention of Brass who headed in their direction.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Sara's on the way to the hospital," Grissom said. "I've got to go. Nick, is there anything you need out of the truck?"

"Come on," Brass said, "I'll get out anything you think he might need."

Grissom started to follow the detective then turned back to Nick. "I'll call Warrick and get him to come out and pick you up."

"I'll call him. You just get to the hospital." When Grissom hesitated, Nick waved him off. "Go. Go!"

When he put the car in drive, Brass knocked on the window. Grissom lowered it and Brass said, "Call us when the little one gets here."

Grissom nodded and drove away.

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Grissom pounded on the steering wheel. "Son of a bitch!" he yelled in frustration. Traffic on the strip was at a standstill. Even though he was in a county vehicle, he refused to use the emergency lights for his own purpose. Inching forward behind an endless line of cars he tried to call Sara. Getting no answer he tried Catherine. Finally he left a message, hoping that Cath would check her voice mail soon. He craned his neck, trying to see what the hold up could be. It's three a.m. What is going on? Forcing his way over to the right lane at the next break in traffic, Grissom slowly made his way to the next intersection. Turning off the strip he began to weave his way through side streets. An hour and a half after leaving the crime scene, Grissom pulled into the emergency parking lot at Desert Palm.

Rushing through the doors to the emergency room, Grissom strode to the desk. "I'm looking for Sara Grissom."

"Just a moment. Let me check." The receptionist turned and pushed a few buttons on her keyboard. "Could you spell the last name for me?"

"G-r-i-s-s-o-m."

"I'm sorry we haven't had anyone come in with that name." The woman smiled and said, "Are you sure she was brought here?"

"Of course I'm sure. She's in labor." Grissom thought for a moment. "Check Sidle. S-i-d-l-e."

After a few more clicks, she said, "Here she is. Room 5215. Just go through those doors, take a right and take the elevator to the fifth floor."

"Thank you," Grissom said before hurrying off in the direction she had indicated.

Arriving on the fifth floor he approached the nurse's station. "I'm looking for Sara Sidle," he told the first person to even glance in his direction.

The woman flipped through a stack of papers and said, "Room 5215. End of the hall and take a left."

Grissom jogged to the end of the hall and narrowly missed running into a nurse as he turned the corner. "Sorry," he shot over his shoulder. Slowing, he checked the room numbers until he found the one he was looking for. He shoved open the door to the sound of Sara moaning piteously.

"My God, where have you been?" Catherine snapped.

"I got stuck in traffic on the strip. Took me forever to get here." Grissom hurried to Sara's side and took her hand. "How are you?"

Sara gave him a look that should have reduced him to pile of smoking ashes. Tears were streaming down her face, mixing with her sweat and running into her hair. She was pale and breathing hard.

Looking back to Catherine, he asked, "What's going on?"

"She's at eight. Her contractions are about a minute apart. And she's in pain. Other than that, nothing." Catherine didn't try to keep the irritation out of her voice.

"Why haven't they given her something for the pain?"

"Too late. Apparently, this one is going to be like her mother, impatient."

"You can stop talking about me like I'm not here." Sara snarled.

"Sorry," Grissom said. Looking around he found a damp cloth on the night stand and used it to clean her face. "I tried to get here sooner. Really."

"I don't care," Sara said and then gritted her teeth against the pain of the contraction.

"Sara, you have to breathe. Try to relax." Grissom's voice was quiet and soothing.

"Shut up," she panted. "I don't want to hear it. I'm trying to have a baby."

Catherine looked at Grissom and said, "She was three minutes apart when I picked her up. Her water broke in the car. By the time we got to the room she was too far along for an epidural."

Grissom stroked Sara's hair off her face and said, "I thought I told you not to start without me."

Her response was to groan as the next contraction hit her. When she could speak, she ground out, "I. Need. To. Push."

Grissom froze. His eyes were wide and frightened. Seeing the panic on his face, Catherine said, "I'll get a nurse. Don't do anything until I get back." With that, she hurried from the room.

Grissom winced when Sara crushed his hand in hers as another pain hit her. "God, Griss, this hurts. Who would do this voluntarily?"

Squeezing her hand, tears in his eyes, Grissom said, "Oh, honey…"

The door was flung open and Catherine herded a nurse inside. "Ms. Sidle, I need to check you. The doctor is parking his car and will be here soon." She adjusted Sara's legs and draped the sheet carefully before pulling on a glove. Sara's eyes were clenched shut and she was moaning low in her throat. The nurse straightened up and pulled off the glove. "I need you to try and relax. I'm going to bring everything in. As soon as Dr. Mamelli gets here we'll be ready to go."

Sara glared at the back of the retreating woman. "Relax? Who the hell is she kidding?" she said to no one in particular.

"Who is Dr. Mamelli?" Grissom asked.

"He's in the same group as Dr. Brown. He must be on call. I saw him a couple of times when I went for check-ups." Sara responded and then groaned as another pain struck her.

"Where the hell is the doctor?" Grissom snapped.

"I'm sure he'll be here any minute," Catherine responded in a calm voice. "You need to stay calm. Can't have two of you on the edge." She eyed him meaningfully over Sara's head.

For one second, he looked like he was going to tear her head off. Then he seemed to gather himself together and he nodded. Smiling down at his wife, he brushed the damp hair off her forehead and asked, "Do you need some water or ice chips? Anything?"

"Drugs," Sara said and then gave a wan smile. "No. Not right now."

Grissom's response was cut short by the door swinging open. A short, dark haired man in green scrubs came in. His bright smile was surrounded by a mustache and beard. His eyes were twinkling. "Sara, how are you?"

"Not so great. Hurts like a bitch."

Laughing at her response, he pulled on a glove and said, "Let's see where this baby is." He positioned Sara's legs and examined her. Stepping back he said, "I think you're ready. Let me get gowned up and we'll get this show on the road."

Suddenly, the room became a hive of activity. The nurse returned with a tray loaded with sterile gowns, masks and instruments. Another came in bringing the things they would need for the baby. Someone else dropped the bottom of the bed and pulled up the stirrups. The doctor washed his hands and, with the help of a nurse, put on the gown, gloves and face mask. Settling himself at the foot of the bed, he began explaining what was going to happen. Grissom grabbed her right foot and a nurse her left. Catherine was helping support her head and shoulders.

When the next contraction hit, Sara sucked in air and pushed. Bearing down, she felt as if she were being torn in two. Everything faded; the noise, the chatter, the beeping of the monitors. Nothing existed in that time and place except her and the pain. She could feel the contractions. She could hear a growling that she vaguely realized was coming from her. Time stood still. She could have been there for minutes or days. She focused all her energy on the task at hand. She knew the doctor was touching her but she felt numb. Maybe it was because the pain was so intense that anything less was no more than an aggravation. Breathe in, hold it, push, breathe out; over and over until she had developed a rhythm.

"Sara. Sara. Sara!" Catherine yelled. "Stop. Don't push anymore."

Tearing her eyes open, Sara realized that the doctor was talking to her. The pain was still there. Still the most horrendous thing she had ever felt. "Please," she said on a whisper. "Please hurry."

"Almost done," Dr. Mamelli replied. "Hold on just one more second."

His eyes bright with unshed tears, Grissom was watching her face. Smiling at her he mouthed, "I love you."

"Okay, Sara, let's finish this up. I need you to give me an easy push. Not too much." After a moment, he said, "Again. Just a little."

With that, she felt the pressure on her body release. She felt the fluid gush out and heard the angry wail of her daughter. When the doctor laid the infant on her chest she finally allowed herself to relax, tears of joy and exhaustion streaming down her face. She felt Grissom's lips on top of her head and raised her face to his for a kiss. Then he was cutting the cord and the baby was being whisked away to be cleaned and weighed, poked and proded.

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Sara awoke to a dimly lit room. The blinds were shut, blocking most of the hot Vegas sunlight. Glancing around, she saw Grissom asleep in the chair to her right. Slowly, she stretched, groaning a little at the pain. Reaching for the control, she maneuvered the bed until she was more or less sitting up.

"Hey." Grissom's voice was rough with sleep. "How do you feel?"

"Sore." Sara smiled and said, "How long have I been out?"

"About eight hours. Must have been the drugs." Grissom stood and moved to stand beside the bed. "Do you want me to have them bring her in?"

"Of course." She watched him leave the room.

"The nurse is going to get her." Grissom smiled at her and said, "We have to give her a name, you know."

"How about Julia? I kind of like that."

"I like Julia. What about Julia Elizabeth?"

Sara thought for a moment before saying, "That has a nice ring. Julia Elizabeth Grissom."

The door opened and a nurse came in pushing little Julia in a bassinet. Grissom walked over, picked her up and carried her to Sara. Placing her in her mother's arms he stood back and watched as the two got acquainted. After she had uncovered the baby and counted all her fingers and toes, Sara very gently tucked the blanket back around her.

Looking up, she caught Grissom watching her. "What?"

"You are amazing." When she blushed and started to shake her head, he said, "I could never have done what you did today. That was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

Sara's eyes filled with tears and she said, "It was worth every minute. But I don't think I want to do it again. At least not anytime soon." Giggling at Grissom's expression, Sara nuzzled Julia's cheek and kissed her forehead. She patted the edge of the bed and motioned Grissom over to sit beside her.

That is how Catherine found them. Grissom and Sara snuggled together on the narrow bed with Julia cradled in her mother's arms. "I brought someone to see you," she said. When she opened the door a little wider Jonathan came in holding Lindsay's hand. He was dragging his feet and looked a little scared – until he saw Grissom and Sara. Catherine picked him up so that Grissom could hold him.

"Mama. You sick?" Jonathan's blue eyes were wide and uncertain.

"No, baby, I'm not sick. Do you want to see your sister?" He nodded and Sara leaned over until he could see Julia's face. Jonathan reached out a hand and gently touched Julia's face. Grissom and Sara sat, shoulder to shoulder, watching their children say 'hello' for the first time.

The door opened again and Nick stuck his head in. He was followed by Greg and Warrick and, finally, Brass. The room was filled with laughter and chatter and good natured joking. The nurse stopped by to check Sara's temperature and blood pressure. Before she was left Sara asked her to take a picture.

With Sara, Grissom, Jonathan and Julia sitting on the bed and the others crowded around them the nurse took their very first family picture.

The End


End file.
